Hello Experts
I mediated a marriage of my widower friend after sad demise of his wife, staying with a 14 years old daughter and old parents. The girl is 41 years, unmarried lady, staying with her mother. Both of them are staying in same locality (distance between 2 houses is less than 500mts). The court marriage took place in Aug 2013 and social marriage performed in Sept. 13. My friend is earning 45 K per month and the girl is a teacher, earning around 30 K per month. The boy put the condition, that there will be no further “issue” from this marriage, as he already has a daughter. In turn the girl said, she wanted to adopt a child and she will be happy to adopt his daughter as her own child.
Highlight of the issue (since it has become a long story in just 4 months) :-
1. Initial adjustment problem between the step mother and the daughter, like showing displeasure and disrespect to see daughter’s ex-mother’s multiple photos in her room, sharing the bathroom, food habits etc.
2. Complained: - husband does not give exclusive time to her after coming back from office. (Husband says.. he has to give the time to each member to his family, consist of new wife, poor daughter who lost her mother, old parents, where mother is suffering from austrio- arthritis and moves with the help of walker and wheel chair).
3. Wife was reluctant to take interest in house hold jobs and told that she is a working woman not a “domestic servant” and refused to do the house hold job. Later on I learnt that, 1 maid (comes 3 times a day) and 1 cook (comes 2 a day) takes care of their house.
4. Her tiffin use to be packed by her mother-in-law / husband / herself, but hardly packed the breakfast/ tiffin of her daughter. Lunch was served by the father in law, and the dinner was served by the husband and wife jointly.
5. She was not keen to meet the guests and relatives; never shown interest to serve a cup of tea even as she feels, she gets negative vibes from unwanted people. Few times never came out of her bed room to meet people who wanted to meet the new “Bahu”.
6. The husband took both daughter and wife to a counsellor for counselling including himself. After 3 sitting wife didn’t wish to continue the counselling.
7. After 2nd week of marriage, the wife wanted to stay back at parental home since she is suffering from sleeplessness and also can take care of her mother. (Monday to Friday at parental home, Saturday and Sunday at matrimonial home), my friend turned down her proposal.
8. After 6th week, she left the house after heated talk with husband on a trivial issue and said she won’t come back, showing her usual arrogance and excellent abusive skills. After 2 days, husband and father in law went to the matrimonial house to bring her back but again they were abused and did not return and asked the husband to return all the ornaments and her belongings.
9. However she came back after 6 days but added a new condition that she will adopt a child (without knowing the basic rules of child adoption in India i.e. the couple has to be married for at least 3 years.)
10. To cool down the issue, the husband took all the family members and his mother-in-law to a tourist spot. But the mother-in-law also humiliated the “Damad” in front of the entire family for not accepting the money from towards traveling expenditure and termed him as arrogant and fighting nature. (Husband says. he considered her MIL as her own mother and how can he take money from her.)
11. This aggravated the condition further and wife left home couple of times more and her ill treatment towards the family members and daughter continued and asked for mutual divorce and repeatedly admitted that it’s her mistake to marry my friend. Meanwhile she took her all ornaments back to her parental house in middle of November 2013.
12. Finally in the in the first week of December 2013, she refused to stay together and expressed to have a talk with her in-laws at mid night. As soon as the husband’s parent entered the room and asked what’s wrong with her, she started shouting that she has been attacked by husband and her parents. Wife immediately called up her mother and brother. The MIL of husband wanted to call police; however the matter resolved as husband intervened and convinced that there is no such issue. Next day early morning, due to trauma, husband’s mother suffered a massive cerebral attack and hospitalised and suffered a paralysis in right side. She and her mother kept on threatening husband that they will file a DV case to see the fun.
13. Again on last week of December 2013, when my friend was out of town for official job, she asked the FIL to talk to her mother, regarding some untold reason. On enquiry, what is the issue; the wife became aggressive and abusive, and had a confrontation with FIL. She even threatened the old aged FIL and sick MIL for getting mentally prepared for police arrest under DV Act and 498A and left home. Next day, she came back and took all her appeals and belongings in the presence of her husband.
14. Husband talked to her 2 times and tried to convince her but she was adamant that she will adopt a child and if required she is ready to give MCD next day. (Again ignorant about the rules). When husband told her the rules of divorce that she has to wait for 1 year, she agreed to wait for that time after talking with her brother.
15. In the first week of January 14, she came back to pick up the wardrobe and books she brought from her parental home. The husband asked her to give a written note that she is and had taken back her all belongings including ornaments she brought from parental house. She signed the document and went back and still agreed to go for MCD. After this, the husband submitted a general diary in local police station, informing that her wife has left the matrimonial home from such and such date and staying separately with mutual consent, and till they file petition for MCD. Seeing the police coming to their house, she and her brother again threatened the husband for dire consequence and book him and his family under DV Act and 498A.
16. I personally wanted to mediate and wanted to sort out the problem. Wife says she is ready to stay with the husband but cannot stay with the parents and daughter and she will go ahead with child adoption. In reply husband says “NO, he cannot leave his daughter and old parents”
Having narrated the story, I wish to know the following points:-
a) Can the wife and her family book the husband and his family in DV Act and Section 498A now after 2 months?
b) Is there any need of filing mutual separation in the court? What is the benefit of this mutual separation?
c) What is the precaution to be taken by the husband?
d) If she comes back and asks for RCR, what is the defence the husband needs to stop the wife?
e) Can my friend file a divorce for mental cruelty?
f) Can they claim hefty amount as alimony as the wife is working and earning a good salary?
Please guide to save this family from further damage.
