Urgent help needed

Originally posted by : Prachi
	Mr Stanley ,pretending to be wise nd being actually wise and knowledgable are two different things.  It doesn't look like you know anything about US and the way things are there or about the case otherwise you would not have passed such foolish remarks which  shows your standard and level of maturity. I think you better go and advocate female foeticide as there are many lions who want reduce women/girls to dead meat in many ways . Nobody forced you to give advice/react if you are doubtful about the credibility of something and let me remind you you are not here to give character certificate to people. Even if I had been any other person without valid visa and authority I could not have worked there  making me dependent  financially & otherwise on my spouse.. I am fighting because I am an educated girl and I did not fight earlier as I was  bound by some reason which refrained me from being selfish. I would suggest you first update your knowledge before questioning others and kindly remember the purpose for which you joined this forum.

@ prachi 

Thanks for disclosing the fact that you are a educated and intelligent Girl . while you were in the U.S what stopped you from filing a case of domestic violence and in the U.S the law is strict and in a D.V case an arrest is imminenet . Even if you file any false case against him it would fall apart due jurisdictation as he wasnt in india .Now that you seek revenge and want to teach your husband a lesson i dont think so would work it would only end up in you spending sleepless nights . You behave in a manner as though you were his slave in the U.S and slavery was abolished in the U.S a long time ago . 

Sorry i dont advocate female foetecide thats not my profession it comes under your profession 

Lolz Sir your arguments remind me of Spanish bull fight. For people like you any question asked by a girl, however genuine, is like a red flag and the rest is quite evident from your replies. True, slavery was abolishes long time back but I need to remind you as I think you have not gone through my question properly…my husband is very much Indian, place where slavery in many different form is still prevalent. The responsibility of saving marriage most of the time lies on girl’s shoulder. When they try to voice their opinion they are called house breaker and when they don’t they are mocked and criticized the same way as you are doing. I am least interested in wasting my life on such a screwed up man whoose good senses even the law cannot bring back so have opted for mediation but I just want him to face me for one last time and answer my question for which he needs to be in ndia. I would still REQUEST you to kindly give legal advice if you can to people without being prejudiced and not character certificate to people coz then you will be inviting people to do the same with you.   You are definitely not a lawyer capable of giving any wise advice.  Don’t forget there are many women who might be having same set of emotions for men like you have for women

Female foeticide ethically is not allowed in my profession Sir . I have to TELL you as you don't even know much about india as well but yes where there are unethical people like you everything is possible in every profession. 

Prachi - I hope you will consider a mutual consent divorce. You anger is justified but you seem to misunderstand those who are trying to help you.and your emotional situation is making you defensive. please do not take it personal Anyway coming to your point

I can understand your anger, reasons and reasoning’s, my only suggestion to you goes for MCD. Because Indian system will not get you the justice you are looking for. It’s hard to prove anything in court. Also the lawyers insist on counter attacks draining the couple of any emotions they have for each other. You say your parents are not in a position to waste their time and energy on this. Trust me family courts are the most depressing places to be in.

Anyway I am listing the things that I did and it’s something you can do.

1.  You cannot under any law bring your husband to India. So I suggest dropping that idea.
2.   You were a victim of domestic violence. But for reasons best known to you, you did not file a case. So it’s pointless thinking of it. Consider it as another mistake from your side.
3. You want to get out of this marriage. Find a mediator who can talk to his family and agree on a MCD.
4. The mediator can draw up an agreement whereby you agree when and how the Gold and any money or personal belongings will be settled. Any alimony will also be mentioned and agreed here.
5. Assuming that both the parties agree for an MCD. MCD is one document signed by both the parties.
6. Your husband can sign it in the US in the Indian Embassy and attest it and send it to the mediator. You can then sign it and submit it at the family court.
7. This will be registered and you will be given a date six months from then for a second notion.
8. Both of you will have to be present for this. You will be asked to go for counselling and if both of you still want a divorce, you get it.

Now this is the simplest way out. Everything else is driven by emotions and wasting your time and money. If at all the husband is being influenced entirely by the family, he will change his stand at some point. If he doesn’t change, you know it’s over in his mind too.

This is not an expert opinion, but as a girl who has been in the closest situation as you and currently waiting for MCD to come through. If at all any emotions are left, both the parties will rethink during the 6 month cooling period. If nothing changes then, that’s the end of the story.

Best of luck in making your call.

@ Prachi 

you dont seem to heed anybody's advice when given ,but rather go about educating the others on the subject matter .

1. for your logical question " you only want him to face you one last time that too in india " there is no law which can compel him to come to india . Rather i presume you can call him up/write to him  and ask him whatever you seek out of it. Now i have to presume your king size ego has come into the way and hence you are unable to do this .

2. You dont want to file any cases also against him than point one is the solution to your problem .  litigation is filthy and dirty and it takes years and its a waste of time and money there is no short cut to it but the only short cut would be MCD which would get over in 6 months time .

I am very well aware that Female foeticide is not allowed by profession but it is this very profession which carries it out under hand 

Ms. Prachi---> Valued suggestions given by Ld. members are useful and now its upto you, ie how to utilise ur time, energy, money and power.

No law can bring him back in India and i am damn sure neither he will come.....So best is part ur ways with MCD and if u still want him to face u one last time, go to US and talk to him if possible and if ur pocket allows so.

 

the wheater is hot and some times even it is raining 

alright come to the point you want to have face to face once so that you want to ask last question and why (may be personal but without knowing a ccurate answer will not be possible)

from my point of view try to graner all possible steps by if his company is in india try to contact and from there you can try a source to make him come to india say for meeting .....

try to locate a person who is very close contacts with there family and your husband to tackle the situation because some one will be there in india who will help them if you try this step is not a tough job for you to locate 

and importantly if you have children concentrate on them for there future and to take care of your parents 

try to prepare for all those if you want to take him to court if your last resort is not successful be prepared to take legal action immeditely because you are trying single i think so you should take legal help so contact a lawyer who can help you in this matter which would be help ful for you. even if you file a case then through embassy court can send him summons and then he will be in india to face you 

the wheater is hot and some times even it is raining 

alright come to the point you want to have face to face once so that you want to ask last question and why (may be personal but without knowing a ccurate answer will not be possible)

from my point of view try to graner all possible steps by if his company is in india try to contact and from there you can try a source to make him come to india say for meeting .....

try to locate a person who is very close contacts with there family and your husband to tackle the situation because some one will be there in india who will help them if you try this step is not a tough job for you to locate 

and importantly if you have children concentrate on them for there future and to take care of your parents 

try to prepare for all those if you want to take him to court if your last resort is not successful be prepared to take legal action immeditely because you are trying single i think so you should take legal help so contact a lawyer who can help you in this matter which would be help ful for you. even if you file a case then through embassy court can send him summons and then he will be in india to face you 

Thanks a ton mia  for understanding my situation and accordingly advising me. I do agree with you that my emotions are preventing me from ignoring all the illogical/ vexatious coments by some members who have forgotten the very purpose of this forum & are trying to act like moral inspectors. I am indeed thinking of going for MCD . I am trying to keep my emotion separate from this case as advised by some respected members but still feel vulnerable to emotinal outburst which I think you do have an idea. I wanted answers to my question which I deserve to get but it seems that it would be just wastage of my time ,energy and emotions . Thanks again for the information about the process for your suggestion. I immensly appreciate the way you handled this query and leading member for giving wise LEGAL advice .

Thanks 498a weddinggift & Mahesh sir .

wastage out it we get lot of answers and experiences 

for any step you want to take your husband should be here in some or other pretext but who and how you should answer because the experience you garned from this query i dont think this is a wastage

how to face him when he comes to you and who will help and prepare for all as i appreciate for your courage that you have taken a step further somehow and you have not answered my questions 

try to take help of some close person to your husbands to solve this puzzle 

Dear Prachi,

After reading your post i would like to say something very practical if you like it or not but this is the truth.

It is very clear that your relationship is broken and irreparable then what's the purpose of mediation ? Here mediation is nothing but only to bargain about Alimony and Maintenance so i see mediation here is only for financial gian and nothing more.

You have mentioned that he tortured you for 1year then i ask you WHY ? the only answer you will have to tell everyone here is you behaved like a pativrata Indian wife but the truth is you are weak and dependant on him otherwise with first incident you should have left him.

It is very clear he wants divorce then why you are sticking to him like a parasite please get your life.Either you ask him for MCD and if he does not agree then you go for ex-parte divorce and get some peace.If your husband is living in US and having a Greencard then believe me even the Chief Justice of India cannot bring him here and you will only gray your hair running around courts and waste your savings.

I agree to Mia, THE sensible post.