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I need guidance now. (Harassed by Wife and her family)     31 May 2013

Wife problem in just 1 month after marriage

 I had an arrange marriage on March 25th 2013, it was fixed in Oct 2012 and in between I had time  to know my future wife. During inintal stage i had recieved a mail from her Ex boy friend and she sweared to have no relation with him. i had trusted her in this matter and tried to keep the trust in her. It was fine till dec end abd suddenly she started complaining on my parents, with my reflex against her she took it to her parents asking to cancel the marriage. As the engagement was just over i got scared of society and convinced her not to do so. but this dint stop till marriage she had broke up with me 2 more times. every time i used to call her friends to convince her and let her know am not here to hurt her. i have said her that i like her and have no intension to get seprated for silly reasons. she had said we have problems cause we are away. after marriage we will not have problem. i was also happy to hear that and had left all her abusing words and aragont behaviors shown by her during those days. but after marriage she used to avoid me in all matters by the same silly and unreal issues. seeing this i asked her to explain what is her problem and she said nothing the went to call her parents at midnight by 1 am (that was my birthday and i was not happy as she dint speak to me whole day) i said not to do so as it not rite time. she replied me by asking who am i to say not to call. i said i am your husband. and she threw the mangalsutra on bed and said to give her mobile. today i was compleatly broken. as the issue continues till 4th May and turns up by her act of calling her parents to get her back as am torturing her. while leaving she had conditioned to make new home and get her back. i dint reply t any of her act. later after one week she calls back to ask my reaction and i said am not gona leave my parents who need me at later age. and after this she is telling she wants to come back but am afraid to get her back. reasons are as follows
1. am scared that she may do some other drama to get me seprated from my parents and relatives.
2. she complains and makes fals blames which are so called offence in law, where i have not involved in any of them nor my parents.
3. I got doubt about her past matter that she may have lied me and i went to her ex guy who says they had relation before and he had left her cause she was not able to leave her first relation. now am scared to get her back cause if its true that she is not able to forget her first relation, and if this is the reason for her to make all these issues then if he comes back or happens like she is not intrested in me this may lead to any of the criminal issues in future.

Please do help me to know what to do. i just have given brief of the issue as i cant type all the matters which has happened. you can contact me and let me know best solution.
 



Learning

 8 Replies


(Guest)
Originally posted by : trilok


 I had an arrange marriage on March 25th 2013, it was fixed in Oct 2012 and in between I had time  to know my future wife.

 

During inintal stage i had recieved a mail from her Ex boy friend and she sweared to have no relation with him.

 

i had trusted her in this matter and tried to keep the trust in her.

 

It was fine till dec end abd suddenly she started complaining on my parents, with my reflex against her she took it to her parents asking to cancel the marriage.

 

As the engagement was just over i got scared of society and convinced her not to do so. but this dint stop till marriage she had broke up with me 2 more times.

 

every time i used to call her friends to convince her and let her know am not here to hurt her.

 

i have said her that i like her and have no intension to get seprated for silly reasons.

 

she had said we have problems cause we are away.

 

after marriage we will not have problem. i was also happy to hear that and had left all her abusing words and aragont behaviors shown by her during those days.

 

but after marriage she used to avoid me in all matters by the same silly and unreal issues.

 

seeing this i asked her to explain what is her problem and she said nothing the went to call her parents at midnight by 1 am (that was my birthday and i was not happy as she dint speak to me whole day) i said not to do so as it not rite time. she replied me by asking who am i to say not to call.

 

i said i am your husband.

 

and she threw the mangalsutra on bed and said to give her mobile.

 

 

today i was compleatly broken.

 

as the issue continues till 4th May and turns up by her act of calling her parents to get her back as am torturing her.

 

 

while leaving she had conditioned to make new home and get her back.

 

i dint reply t any of her act.

 

later after one week she calls back to ask my reaction and i said am not gona leave my parents who need me at later age.

 

and after this she is telling she wants to come back but am afraid to get her back.

 

reasons are as follows

1. am scared that she may do some other drama to get me seprated from my parents and relatives.

2. she complains and makes fals blames which are so called offence in law, where i have not involved in any of them nor my parents.

3. I got doubt about her past matter that she may have lied me and i went to her ex guy who says they had relation before and he had left her cause she was not able to leave her first relation. now am scared to get her back cause if its true that she is not able to forget her first relation, and if this is the reason for her to make all these issues then if he comes back or happens like she is not intrested in me this may lead to any of the criminal issues in future.

Please do help me to know what to do. i just have given brief of the issue as i cant type all the matters which has happened. you can contact me and let me know best solution.

 

There was something untoward in your part, ie about you, so you underwent all this or, you were deeply in love with her apart from the society which you claim to have feared of.

 

Now nothing doing, inspite of knowing everything you married her, now its your headache.

 

If you are living with your parents as you say, for the safety of your parents, move out, make seperate accomodation for your lovely wife.


 


 

 

If you want any further free advice, please feel free to call me on my phone, chek PM for my number.

I need guidance now. (Harassed by Wife and her family)     02 June 2013

Can you let me know what is my mistake?.. trying to keep my relation.. giving her time to understand.. excusing her childish behavior.. what is my mistake... if trying to keep relation is wrong then please let me know....

Need Justice (manager)     02 June 2013

Iam also facing the same prob. you just need to collect evidences or u can proceed for MCD if she will get ready.

vickydonor (others)     02 June 2013

@Trilok ji 

You may be struckup with a BPD/NPD wife..

Tell her to immediately come for psychiatric counselling , also visit internet websites regarding such behaviour

My advise-if u are reasonably sure that she has some personality problem, just divorce her..no use making ur life a living hell with such kind of disordered people/.....


(Guest)
Originally posted by : trilok

Can you let me know what is my mistake?.. trying to keep my relation.. giving her time to understand.. excusing her childish behavior.. what is my mistake... if trying to keep relation is wrong then please let me know....

You are emotional, that is your mistake No. 1.


Mistake No. 2 is you keep assuming things, that is your biggest mistake.

vickydonor (others)     02 June 2013

@Helping Hand

With due respect, I disagree a bit on this

He may be just a plain good compassionate human being at heart who has fallen prey to a personality disordered woman as all indications point towards that only.....

I need guidance now. (Harassed by Wife and her family)     03 June 2013

I dont think it was valid reason to cancel. i thought she may have misunderstood. she never said she dint like me. she used to say if i dont like cancel. what should i think if she say that. she never say openly that she dint like me. after marriage the way she behaved was worst. if she was not willing she could have said i dont like you. as it was an arrange marriage elders could have canceled it. after engaging if she speak about me and my family and abuse for nothing harm what should i think.

 

Actually initially when they said to quit if i dont like i should have accepted it.

i accept i made a mistake but i thought for this silly reason (that my mom bought additional sari to her was not a big thing). and my be she needs time, this is what i felt. i realize it now that i should have not think in broad way that day.

I need guidance now. (Harassed by Wife and her family)     03 June 2013

@ viky doner..

 

I went through BPD problem.. i feel you are right. the girls parent have asked to take councelling for both. and am going today evening. lets see what doc will say.


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