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Ranjana khatri (housewife)     08 June 2014

Court insensitive to child's welfare

I am mother of 4 year old. I am educated person and till I got into my own court cases of divorce and child custody I had a false idea that court blindly always does best for children. Such a wrong idea. Now, when my kid has to go for access to the court every 15 days I see the truth. Family courts are so insensitive. For a judge all cases are same whether the parents are educated or illiterate.

My child is under couselling for his change in behaviour and increased anxiety after he had solo visitation with husband. I don;t know what happened at my in l was house with my kid but he does not want to see them alone. He is Ok to play with his father in court premises but avoids eye contact with my in laws.

Now, my husband wants a month of temporary custody. I admitted to the court that my kid's well being is harmed when left alone with my husband. I requested court to give him visitation everyday in court premises or any premise in my presence. The judge blamed me for manipulating the child. I will never make my kid choose. He is only 4 years old. I want him to play with his father but he chooses not to. I really don't know what they did to him but he is very afraid of my in-laws. He told me once that they hit him when he asked them to take him to me ( mother ). I don't know if I should believe him. 

Husband's family and his lawyer are influential people. Judge seems to be biased. Till now we have given my husband temporary custody for 3-6 hours for the length of 20 days. but My kid has not spent nights with them. Also, all this dragging is causing my kid anxiety. 

Judge refused to let my kid's psychiatrist talk in court. Judge is not interested in taking my kid's interview either. 

What kind of welfare are they seeking by forcing a kid? Biased that the custodial parent definitely brainwashes the child without interviewing me ( custodial parent ) or the child? Refusing to talk to the doctor?

My question is _

1) How do I stop the temporary custody? I do not deny access in my presence in daytime. He can sit with my child for 12 hours .

2) will changing judge help me or get him more angry towards me?

3) If judge orders temporary custody how much time will I need to challenge the case in High court?

4) Is there any NGO that works for kids?

Please help

 



Learning

 11 Replies

Adv. Chandrasekhar (Advocate)     08 June 2014

Engage a good advocate and go for an appeal raising your grievances.

Ranjana khatri (housewife)     08 June 2014

@ Chandrasekhar- Thank you for responding. By appeal do you mean moving to high court?

Have a Heart Foundation (Sales & Mktng)     08 June 2014

Most of the custodial parent come with these reasons or more worst reasons to deny / deprive access to the non-custodial parent.

 

what would  you say, had you been a non-custodial parent and the child had been in the custody of your husband?

 

It is the right of the child to have independent relationship with the non-custodial parent and their family members and to have uninterfered , smooth and peaceful access free from the intimidating or manipulative ways of the custodial parent.

 

Once in 15 days access of 2 hrs means in whole year child gets to meet Non-Custodial Parent only for JUST 48 hrs.. how will a Bond between a Non-Custodial Parent and the Child Develop ???

 

Besides, some access would not be given nor substituted, child will be tutored / brain washed.. or the custodial parent will indulge in creative litigation to deny access.

 

This will ultimate result in seriously affecting the Overall Growth and Development of the Child. 

 

It is better to encourage and let the child enjoy Fatherhood to the fullest the way child enjoys Motherhood.

Ranjana khatri (housewife)     08 June 2014

@suresh: thank you for your response. I do understand the negative effects of single parenthood on the child and I am by no means trying to make up stories or deny access. Kid has been with his father 20 days at a stretch with orders of high court which later realizes that the child is getting affected. All I am trying to convince the lower court judge is to start this vacation temporary process slowly and gradually increase visitation hours. What is the rush ? In all this ego battle it's ultimately the child that is getting affected. I am a doctor and know child psychology. I can do anything for his good. But I am not getting same response from my husband. It's winning and loosing for him. Please advice me how to convince court to not rush for a long temporary custody ? Please HELP

Have a Heart Foundation (Sales & Mktng)     08 June 2014

Firstly, Courts are aware of the facts.

 

The entire process of court starts with giving access at children complex room usually on 1st & 3rd Saturdays under supervision of counsellors and thereafter Court starts giving access outside and ultimately gives overnight and vacation access.

 

whats so hurry ?? is again a  standard statement of the custodial parents. They tutor and brainwash the child to a large extent. Thereafter, deny / deprive access and indulge in litigation.

 

The child under the influence of custodial parent is then called for Interview. Most  of the children under undue influence of custodial parent state that they do not want to meet or see the face of the non-custodial parent. (this is likely to or may happen in your matter too).

 

Courts do not just grant access for the convenience of the parents... Access is for the child and It is the Right of the child whereby parental interference should be avoided.

 

Since you are a Doctor you can easily counsel the child and convince him to go with the father and help in re-establishing the relationship independently.

 

If you are not able to counsel or convince a 4 year old child, It is likely that the child will not be in your control nor of his father when he grows up. He may end up being a Rebel or Manipulate both parents to get his things done his way. Parents will end up being a loser due to their fights.

 

 

Ranjana khatri (housewife)     08 June 2014

@Suresh . Thanks for your response. I agree with you about courts point of view . U said exactly what I want to tell court. Start with outing and increase time to bond and then give overnight . Fortunately I am not a mother that believes in brain washing my child . I am only seeking help here to give me points to tell court to increase gradually . Even a small plant from a pot is transferred with some old mud in roots to maintain stability and life. I posted here for help. But I think there are husbands here who have been tortured by their wives. And if that is true consider me on your side coz I am playing the tortured husband part in my case. NGOs are against me and I have been alleged with violence and cruelty . I will appreciate any feedback here . Thanks

Ranjana khatri (housewife)     08 June 2014

@Suresh . Thanks for your response. I agree with you about courts point of view . U said exactly what I want to tell court. Start with outing and increase time to bond and then give overnight . Fortunately I am not a mother that believes in brain washing my child . I am only seeking help here to give me points to tell court to increase gradually . Even a small plant from a pot is transferred with some old mud in roots to maintain stability and life. I posted here for help. But I think there are husbands here who have been tortured by their wives. And if that is true consider me on your side coz I am playing the tortured husband part in my case. NGOs are against me and I have been alleged with violence and cruelty . I will appreciate any feedback here . Thanks

Ranjana khatri (housewife)     09 June 2014

Somebody reply please !!!

N.K.Assumi (Advocate)     09 June 2014

 

1.Just persuade the court that  the Child is 4 years old only and at such tender age of the child, lap of the Mother can not be replaced by any one in this planet, as long as you act as a responsible Mother to the child.

2.Persuade the Court that you can give your best to the child welfare and interest and look after him properly as a Mother.

3.Persuade the Court that considering the tender age of the child it will not be in the welfare and interest of the child to give away the child temporarily  to the father and in law, and that pray for their visiting  rights where you are living, as temporary custody may also result in abduction of the child, which will create more problems for all of you.

4.Persuade the court that you are ready tofather's visiting rights and as the child grows up, you are ready to accept and respect  the wish of the Child for his custody.

Ranjana khatri (housewife)     09 June 2014

@assumi- thank you so much for replying positively . My problem is this judge has already assumed that I am brain washing my kid. He is not ready to listen or read my proposal. All I am requesting is increase visitation time gradually. I am ready for daily access if that can help my child. He stops me before I can complete my sentence . What should I do? Where to report? Where to seek help? My lawyer right now is useless . I am seeking for a new lawyer too.

Adv. Chandrasekhar (Advocate)     09 June 2014

You can try your chances in appeal in High Court.  The orders those emanate in custody cases are purely subjective based on discretionary power of courts, despite certain principles have been laid down by the Apex Courts and State High Courts.  So, if you find injustice in the trial court order, you go for an appeal.


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