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Ashwini (Hon.Dental Surgeon )     19 March 2013

Plz guide me

My husband left me on 1/11/12 saying he wants divorce.He wants my 3.7yr old daughter desperately.
He wants divorce in mutual way.We r married since 11yrs now.
He firstly drafted papers saying my daughter ll stay with me (with wife) and he ll give maintainance for her and no alimony for wife.Till 10/2/2013 we were trying to tell him not to think about divorce and think about daughter and come back.He never agreed n told us if you don't agree about his draft put forward your conditions.So after consulting lawyer we demanded a place to live n alimony along with child n her maintainance,which law says.
After hearing all this he threatened my family saying i ll not get a single penny n he will take my daughter too.Next day morning he Sophistically abodon me from my matrimonial house n took the car too which was gift to me by him.He gift deed that flat to his mother.
We then drafted papers saying i ll keep daughter n if he wants to pay maintainance he can or else i ll manage without maintainance.i m waving alimony..too.and no access for him n his relatives to my daughter.In this he didn't agree for access clause.So we decided to change to granting access to him n relatives.n he agreed.Now he has changed again saying he ll keep daughter n pay me monthly n again threatened.He has many plans ready.Financially he is sound so on basis of this he is executing all his plans by throwing money.He has taken school admission in pune for my daughter n given leaving letter in the current school in mumbai .
I want my daughter.I don't want his money.Financially i m weak.I m lacking manpower too.Nobody is supporting me.Every individual thinks i m a useless person.
Now i know my husband ll play the game again.He has a plan to keep me as it is n he ll take my daughter with out giving me divorce.He don't want to take me to pune.In such case what should i do ?I want my daughter but as he hasn't started any legal case so he can take my daughter.Plz help n guide.



Learning

 24 Replies

Rama chary Rachakonda (Secunderabad/Telangana state Highcourt practice watsapp no.9989324294 )     19 March 2013

Please do not think that you are alone. We are all advocates/lawyers and well wishers to you in our society to help you as far as possible. You can send a legal notice to your husband through a lawyer for the consequences in the matrimonial life.

Ranee....... (NA)     19 March 2013

how old your kids are? He cant force you to divorce..he cant throw out you from matrimonial home. Law gives you full right to live on husband if you don't have any income source.

Manish Udar (www.Mehnat.IN)     19 March 2013

He is cheating you, fight back with all legal ammunition which is available to ladies in Indian law.

www.mehnat.in

Ashwini (Hon.Dental Surgeon )     19 March 2013

thanks...fighting is not easy.All is you need money and manpower where i m lacking the most.

rajiv_lodha (zz)     19 March 2013

Law is very much with the weaker s*x. Free legal aid is available throughout the country to all female litigants. So avail it & get whatever is due

Ashwini (Hon.Dental Surgeon )     20 March 2013

If we try to get free aid,its been said that u ll never get proper attention and care.
I have always experienced that money power wins everywhere no matter what the situation is.
I am trying to fight but don't know till when and where i ll be.
My lawyer charged me alot.Somehow i managed to pay his bill.Let's see what will the result.
In the meantime its really difficult to manage the chores of my daughter.Its really hard to tackle her psychology.

Ranee....... (NA)     20 March 2013

You should apply for interim maintenance under DV.

Ashwini (Hon.Dental Surgeon )     21 March 2013

i have filed petition against my husband under domestic violence act n claimed maintainance for child and for myself.
And also ask for reconstitution of the
marriage .
What next?Can anybody tell me what ll be husband 's reaction after getting the summons from court.
What would happen next?
How would i tackle the situation ?plz guide.thanks.


(Guest)
Originally posted by : Ashwini

i have filed petition against my husband under domestic violence act n claimed maintainance for child and for myself.
And also ask for reconstitution of the
marriage .
What next?Can anybody tell me what ll be husband 's reaction after getting the summons from court.
What would happen next?
How would i tackle the situation ?plz guide.thanks.

Had replied an hour back, perhaps it did not get posted.


So posting again.


If you wanted to get along with husband and lead family life, filing a domestic violence case was not in order, you should have filed 125 crpc asking for maintenance.


Now am sure your husband's humiliation will just start and it wont stop until the case gets over.


Husband will get summons to appear on court, failing which, warrant will be issued to appear before court.


As you have asked for maintenance, and the court has all the powers under the DV act to grant exparte orders for residence, you can go stay at matrimonial home, or the place where you both last stayed, or the place where your husband is residing with help of police.


If your husband wont accept you into the place where he is staying, that will become contempt of court, again warrant will be issued, and he might be placed under judicial custody for failing to obey court orders.


All this might happen!

Manish Udar (www.Mehnat.IN)     21 March 2013

You have done a good job. If he has ever demanded dowry then file a 498a complaint against him also. RCR is not the correct thing to do if you want to avoid being divorced by the court.

www.mehnat.in

Ashwini (Hon.Dental Surgeon )     21 March 2013

@Manish What is RCR? Tell me more what next i should take the step?

Manish Udar (www.Mehnat.IN)     21 March 2013

RCR is a petition for Restitution of Conjugal Rights. You may thank me using the icon on the left side if you like my advice.

Ashwini (Hon.Dental Surgeon )     22 March 2013

He is playing with child psychology.Showing the power of money.we never wanted to cross him so we did accordingly.But now after taking away every thing he wants to take away my daughter saying i can't raise her by giving excuses about money,manpower and health issues.He has abandoned me.Where i supposed to live?Why should i live with my parents?
He is not paying the maintenance of child too.
I am ready to leave my profession and stay with him at pune but he is not ready to take me.Child needs both the parents and more than father child needs mother more.Being a girl child she ll b more comfortable with mother than father.Money can't be bar for upbringing the child.Poor can raise the multiple kids then why can't i raise my daughter as i m weak financially ?
Separation is good for him but not for my daughter.
By showing and giving candy to the child is easy to attract the little one.But its difficult for father to raise and mould the small girl child as she needs mother.
He is just want to take revenge and nothing else.
Why child is more attached to father and not to mother??Whole day mother is after that child since waking up the kid to taking kid to bed.Whether mother is professional or housewife.She has to perform all her duties to teach social behaviour to domestic behaviour.So by performing all her duties she will be little rough physically to the child so child has more inclination towards father than mother.Father remains the sweet personality for the kid..Hence kid may like father than her mother.So asking a kid in the court..that with whom she will like to stay has no meaning..


(Guest)
Originally posted by : Ashwini


He is playing with child psychology.Showing the power of money.we never wanted to cross him so we did accordingly.But now after taking away every thing he wants to take away my daughter saying i can't raise her by giving excuses about money,manpower and health issues.He has abandoned me.Where i supposed to live?Why should i live with my parents?

He is not paying the maintenance of child too.

I am ready to leave my profession and stay with him at pune but he is not ready to take me.

If you are working, then why do you need maintenance?  Yes, he should contribute some part of his income towards child's expenditure.

Child needs both the parents and more than father child needs mother more.Being a girl child she ll b more comfortable with mother than father.Money can't be bar for upbringing the child.Poor can raise the multiple kids then why can't i raise my daughter as i m weak financially ?

 

You getting emotional now.


Separation is good for him but not for my daughter.
By showing and giving candy to the child is easy to attract the little one.But its difficult for father to raise and mould the small girl child as she needs mother.
He is just want to take revenge and nothing else.
Why child is more attached to father and not to mother??Whole day mother is after that child since waking up the kid to taking kid to bed.Whether mother is professional or housewife.She has to perform all her duties to teach social behaviour to domestic behaviour.So by performing all her duties she will be little rough physically to the child so child has more inclination towards father than mother.Father remains the sweet personality for the kid..Hence kid may like father than her mother.So asking a kid in the court..that with whom she will like to stay has no meaning..


Taking care of 3 year old kid is a nuisance to any male, just not your husband.


Now he might be asking I want kid, trust me it is a hell of a job to look after a kid, either he has to leave his job to look after kid or hire a maid to look after kid, eitherways kid wont keep quiet.


But I fail to understand what you actually want? Husband and married life or divorce? What I suggest is, as there is a kid and you both are still family, why dont you bow down to each other for the sake of kid, as kid needs love from both parents, or else again one more headache for you ppl, when it grows up it keep asking why this why that, why not this regarding the other missing parent.  One of you have to lie.  That will be the beginning of lies, one lie to cover the other, one day kid will come to know that you both are not together, kid's belief will be lost forever.  Even if one will tell truth to the kid, the kid wont ever have belief in marriage, it will turn out to be a nut kid in the future.  Try adjusting with each other for the sake of kid.  Because of your egos you both will spoil the child's future.

 

Think about it.


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