RCR

Dear Reetika,

As far as I am concerned, I decide once, I don't waver. I execute my plan.  I take things on my strides.  As advised to you in my first reply, you have to file reply to the RCR petition of your husband indicating the torture etc., meted out to you which made you leave the matrimonial home, how they did not get in touch with you, you have not condoned any of their misdeeds / tortures, but how immeditely on receiving the RCR you yourself came to the house, but you were not first taken into the house, how your husband contacted his father, how he left etc. etc. - (the proper sequence of the events you and your lawyer has to arrange) you are ready to live with him and give an honest try.  - rest you can decide only after the court order.  In any case, from your side, please give a very sincere and honest try to live with your husband - do not carry any past things in mind and do not assess/weigh every move of him with suspicion. (But please very carefully keep a note of all things that are happening on day to day basis in a chronological manner - in case of need this will come in handy for future). 

Once this overall picture is clear to you, now you should not bother unnecessarily about ifs and buts.

 

 

 

 You said that “but again we still want to give this relationship another chance and don’t take any action against him and his family but instead just ready to accept his RCR petition. “So you welcomes it and for compromise so give one chance to give it.

 

In future he cannot say that since you stayed with him under RCR, you have condoned the cruelty/torture.

 

What is the process of nullifying those once decree will be passed and we both will are ready to stay together? Your advocate should do all this things. So, don’t worry.

It is not true that he want to prove the good picture in court.At this stage do not assume presumption but take a chance to compromise.

Thank you Rama Sir and Kushan for your valuable inputs, I appreciate your help on this.  Specially Rama Sir, the way you have guided me so fear was more like father telling his daughter than a lawyer.-Thanks for your kind words. I know as of now I don’t have any other option (specially when I , myself want to save this marriage and give him another chance ) but to see how things take turn after 10 days on the d-day of our 2^nd hearing, I hope I will get to know what are my husband’s clear intentions that very day. But since the things have taken turn, It creates several apprehensions in my mind. I am all alone just have my widow mother in my family, my relatives are there but at last this fight is something only I have to experience. Like every parents, my mother would also never want to see her daughter separated from her husband. That’s why we both want to give this relationship another chance and don’t want to penalize my husband and his family irrespective of the torture and harassment they have done to me.

I will try communicating your piece of advice to my lawyer so that whenever I go back to my husband, it’s all w/o any allegations on me and also with the fact that if anything happens to me in future, my husband and his family will be held responsible for it. I just hope for a new life ahead.

Dear Mr. Rajput,

I am not conversant with the provisions obtaining in Maharashtra.  My sincere advice to you would be to consult a good lawyer in your locality.

I and my family have come to know from some trusted sources that my husband’s parents are totally against with our relationship now and they want to end this marriage at any cost, they have infact already started looking for a second wife for my husband and also that they filed RCR thinking that I will not return/ accept the RCR decree passed in their favor and so it will provide them a strong basis to file for divorce(mutual) to have their son come out this marriage all clean and without paying me any money (alimony). However they have also said that in case I still accept the RCR decree and get ready to join back my husband (which actually is the case as I want to save this marriage), they will strongly oppose their son and will disown him if he will accept court’s order and will get ready to give this marriage another chance.

Now I am just concerned since after 3 days I have my 2^nd hearing for the RCR my husband has filed. If Hon’ able judge will ask me if I am ready to join back my husband I will obviously say yes but I am anxious to know if that time my husband can refuse (due to his parent’s pressure) to accept the decree passed in his favor and say in front of judge that now he doesn’t want to stay with me? If yes, what could be the implications on him (as initially it was he who filed for RCR), what next step can he take to dissolve this marriage? What should I do, Do I still have the right (as a girl and as a wife) to appeal in court to pass any order to my husband to join me and save this marriage. I know my husband might still want to save this marriage but I am afraid that his parents pressure can actually make him take a wrong decision and dissolve this marriage. Pls advice.

Dear LCI members, pls provide your advise and suggestions to my abovesaid query, I really need help on this as after2 days i have my hearing for RCR and im really worried what can my husband do if he actually doesnot want to keep this marriage.

DEAR    REETIKA,  

                                   IF   YOUR   HUSBAND    WANTS   TO   KEEP    YOU   WITH   HIM.........I     ADVISE   TO    TO   TAKE    A   SEPARATE    HOUSE    &    LIVE     COMFORTABLY   AND     ENJOY    LIFE.  IT   IS   BETTER   TO   LIVE    AWAY    FROM    SUCH   IN-LAWS.      GOD   BLESS    YOU     FOR    A   HAPPY   MARRIED    LIFE   FURTHER.

Dear Reethika,

Do appear in the Court.  If the judge asks you whether you want to join your husband say an emphatic YES and also say that in very clear terms that "while I am ready to join my husband and will make sincere efforts to make the married life a success,  I DO NOT CONDONE ANY OF THE TORTURE INFLICTED BY HIM AND HIS FAMILY - please make a note of this".

Everything else will turn out very good for you.  Don't worry. 

Dear Ritika,

As per your version, it is clearly evident that you are trying to save the marriage and you have love and affection towards your husband.  But the barrier what i see here is, he is misguided by your in-laws, so instead of conentrating on your in-laws attitude, just talk to your husband directly (if your in a position to talk to him) and convey your feelings and try to convince him.   What I personally feel, a relationship cant be built by involving third parties like relatives, courts etc.  So either of the spouse should come out of ego's  and talk to each other at initial stages only to resolve the matter.  Its not a good idea make the problem very chronic by delaying the things by thinking someone will change on their own.  The bottom line what i am trying to say is, out of your version your husband himself is not a bad person or creating trouble to you, he is misguided by your in-laws.  So why dont you take initiation from your end and talk to him, if he still does not listen to you, then follow R. Ramchandran sir's words while appearing in the court.  So, please dont take any hasty decisions.

My sincere thanks to everyone for guiding me through. However, I have already followed what Chanakyam Sir has suggested. My husband has deserted me for more than one month now but I am still trying to contact him so that we both can resolve the conflicts between us and end these rifts. However he is not responding to any of my calls, my emails or even sms. I don’t have any idea about his whereabouts even. And I know its all because of my in-laws influence. It makes me wonder sometimes that how come a husband has filed RCR claiming that he wants his wife back and restore his marriage and on the other hand he himself has deserted her and not keeping any contacts with her. Anyways, I just have truth with me which is that I, at any cost want to save my marriage and second I know the physical, mental and financial harassment, torture, exploitation and abuse I have been through due to my in-laws for past 18 months of my marriage but still ready to forget everything just to give a restart to my marriage. I know after 2 days when we will have our second hearing for RCR, my husband will come all prepared with his bag full of allegations and lie against me and might put undue conditions on me to join him back and that’s what my fight is all about- To save my marriage as well as to prove myself right and get the justice against all the sufferings I have faced. Lets see if the court really accepts a wife’s plea to get her husband back which’s her right actually. Thanks again everyone.

Dear Reetika,

Ok thats really nice to hear from you.  Definitely you will get the best ..as long as you are putting your sincere efforts.  Be bold... Wish u the good luck.

As already informed on my earlier posts, I had my second hearing for RCR (filed by my husband) on 15^th.However we both had a counseling session in front of Judge (in his chamber) regarding this case. As already expected, my husband imposed each and every allegation (including on my character) he can against me and tried to convince the judge that its me who is responsible for breaking our marriage. Also he pleased infront of judge that I have caused him so much of mental torture that he is unable to bear it anymore and hence don’t want to stay with me and gets rid of me. But most surprisingly the Judge didn’t ask him even a single time that:

1.       If I am so bad and have been causing him so much of torture, then why does he still wants to stay with me and filled for an RCR , why didn’t he filed for divorce instead to get rid off me ASAP?

2.       Also, the counseling session was for RCR petition filed by him wherever he has started clearly that he wants his wife to join him back and handle her matrimonial responsibilities, however than why is he pleading in front of Judge to help him get rid of me, it was a hearing for a divorce case?

I think the Judge must have got influenced the way my husband had put in his good picture in front of him by putting all blames on me. And that’s why In spite of me requesting the Judge that I am ready to join my husband ( infact I am already staying at home and he is the one who has deserted me about 1 month back)  he , w/o listening to my clarification, gave us a date of next hearing after1 month.

Now after coming out of the court, we come to know from some trusted sources that my husband and his family have actually filed RCR just to save their own skin and they want to end this marriage at any cost and their main intension to file for RCR is:

1.       To show in court that they actually want to save this relationship but I am not fulfilling my matrimonial responsibilities.

2.       To safeguard them against 498 as they are already ware whatever wrong they have done to me and I might take such action against them.

3.       To get the decree in their favor (if I won’t accept the court’s order to join my husband on his conditions) so that later it can open their ways to file for mutual divorce and they don’t have to pay any alimony in that case. To fulfill their demands, my mother has already spent more than 18 lakhs in my marriage.

Now my concern is if in next hearing I still repeat the same thing that I am ready to join my husband, what can be the court’s judgment then? And can my husband still keep on denying that he doesn’t want to stay with me although the hearings are for RCR itself?

Also, the day my husband left home, he took with him my jewelry, my laptop, cylinder along with my car which my mother gave me in my marriage. No he is claiming that this car is his only and he is the one paying installments for it. However the truth is car is in my name, and each month the installments get deducted from my salary account only. My husband has all the relevant proofs and the RC of the car with him and I am all empty handed now and just have my bank statements as a proof that I am the owner of the car and paying its installments each month and photographs of sagan ceremony wherein my mother is handing over the car key to my husband (to show that it was actually given by mother to me as a gift in my marriage). My question is -How can I get back my car and claim on it my ownership? Is there a law wherein a woman can file a case on her husband/ in-laws to claim her belongings which they have criminally misappropriated?

The car RC is aslo in my name.

Author,

I have read all your pleadings as well as (few) prudent minds suggestions.


My reply is very straight forward;

1. File DV Act case against your husband and in laws. Seek restraining Order + compensation of 18 L + return of car + s*xual harassment compensation.


2. You will lead a much happy life as your very last mail is suspended in duality after all rosy times 2 desperate pleadings to sustain a failed marriage.


Reasoning:

A person who wants to establish matrimonial home never asks que. on others point of view. You asked in several replies the same que. projecting yourself as ultimate savior of marriage, infact, also giving hint of money (materialism) too. I know from experience that it all boils down to "equating status' at the end of the day and your today's last message itself projects in last para just that. In not all marriage after meeting 18 L + car (I guess somewhere around another 6 L average sedan car cost that much) as dowry a wife gets physical + mental + financial + topping of s*xual harassment too all rolled into one fit!. And after all these a wife still wants to live in that family is slightly above board sadism talk is my view. A family giving 18 L dowry is status family and before giving that much amount they all do due diligence on prospective side of the family and if someone here tells me that it is not so then they are biggest hypocrites here, com’n Dowry and 498a laws have been around for some 2 + decades and experience handling such laws has given enough experience to smell such talks.


Anyhow….....these are besides the point


In one of my earlier post I did mention how potent a weapon RCR is all about if used rightly. Your husband is using it very rightly though few prudent mind may not admit on forum replies but I can see it coming your way from your very first message post in this thread, but kept quite just to read one mail where you talk of dowry and there it came madam in your very last post of today. Rest is all history madam!


You seems to be young and so does yoru husband from the smell of the post. A mam's boy even after living in nuleus shared household can't be chained to rosy love of a wife believe me. Just march ahead after collecting your stridhan (18 L + say 6 L for car) ......


Judge will grant him RCR but HE will no execute it and after cooling ‘period’ he will walk away with a divorce decree (it will be turn for an MCD take my early bird prediction now) and then if you file above case it will not be worth the waiting efforts hence follow the suggestions in para 1 and 2 with no further questions asked before much (menatal + your youth) is lost. 

Thank Harsh Sir for your contribution. And Mr. tajobsindia, I am sorry Sir, but the way you have responded to my query, I felt offended. anyways, still thanks for your advice but it was more misleading than helpful. I dont feel any need to clarify myself here rather I am still looking for valuvale advise from LCI members on my query. Thanks.