Daughter in-law's right
Poonam
(Querist) 20 May 2013
This query is : Resolved
Hello Sir,
My Mother in law has 1 house and equity. She has 1 son and 3 daughters. Somehow her daughters have emotionally manipulated her to not give anything to her son.
I have 4 yrs old daughter. Ideally i know whatever property she holds including house and equity should be divided equally into 4 children she has. But is that possible that she can handover everything to her daughter's only and not give anything to my husband?
Till date she hasn't given me a peny not even a jewelery during marriage, godh bharai or muh dikhayi, so basically i have nothing from her. All her jewelery she has given to her 3 daughters and left nothing for me.
I need your advise? What should i do so that my husband (her only elder son) gets equal rights wrt her house and equity and also I am legally eligible to get something from her?
Please advise. We are HINDU by religion Thanks!
ajay sethi
(Expert) 20 May 2013
since the house belongs absolutely to your mother in laww she can dispose it as she desires . she can by will bequeath it all 4 children or to her daughters as she desires .
Raj Kumar Makkad
(Expert) 21 May 2013
The property is self acquired in the given case so it can very well is disposed off as per sweet whims and wishes of your mother in law.
Guest
(Expert) 21 May 2013
Being undisputed owner, your mother is free to dispose of her property in whatever manner she likes.
What I feel, you have not been able to win the heart of your mother-in-law so far. Please don't take it otherwise, if mother has been dislured from her son, it may be on account of ignoring his mother and also yourself having not yet tried to mix-up and adjust yourself in the family. Mere rights cannot be exerted without discharge of responsibilities. Responsibilities are unseparable part of life in any family. If responsibilities are discharged properly, rights automatically work. In family environments of your in-laws, only mutual trust, affection and sentiments work in married life. TRY TO WIN THE HEART OF YOUR MOTHER-IN-LAW.
V R SHROFF
(Expert) 25 May 2013
Try to give your affection and love to your MIL, So that she may divert her property to you and your husband.
You must have mal-treated her, AND HER DAUGHTERS, As a result, your husband too, lost his love and right.
IF U DON'T CORRECT YOURSELF NOW, YOUR RELATION WITH YOUR HUSBAND WILL GET STRAIN AFTER FEW YEARS!!
Root cause is your nature, which you must change,
don't make enemy, make friends.
Don't worry about property, gold and jewellery, Try to gain LOVE & AFFECTION. Material follows automatically, as happiness follow it.
Poonam
(Querist) 26 May 2013
@Mr. Shroff & Dingra - Its not only about DIL has to keep MIL happy. Since past 5 yrs she has only given me trouble wrt to Dowry and Domestic violence but till date i have not lodged police complaint as i want only peace and no trouble. "Taali do haath se bajti hai, sir" If i did so much for her by not doing police complaint, never misbehaved with her, never argued with her, never gave back answer, never ill treated her then she much respect me. Respect is 2 way street, i deserve respect equally as she deserve.
As my parents has given good qualities in me. I am MBA by education and working as Sr. Manager with IBM in IT. Being such highly educated and working i never showed her any attitude. If still she has problem with me then she is not good MIL, MIL has to mother also to her DIL. My SILs are uneducated and money hungry women. My husband left US and came back to India only for his mother and sisters and got them married spend almost 10 lac on their marriages. So much we have done for them. If still my MIL wants to taker her daughter's side and don't want to be grateful to my husband even we don't care.
Money can be easily earned but not LOVE. She doesn't even care for his only grandchild (our daughter). My husband was broken apart seeing my MIL & SILs behavior. he has done so much for them, bought them house, AC, car, got them married etc etc but never asked anything in return except respect and love.
Anyways my point is don't be always judgmental that DILs are bad. Even i am a mother but can't never imagine to hate my own son who has done so much for everyone. Now i repent that why didn't i do police complaint when she tortured my family b'coz of dowry and did domestic violence on me for past 5 yrs.
ajay sethi
(Expert) 26 May 2013
1) you are highly qualified MBA working for IBM . God has blessed you and on account of your intelligence you are doing well in life .
2) similarly your husband is doing well and has worked in USA in past and out of love and affection for his mother and sisters come back to india and performed his duties as son and brother and got sisters married .
3) you had taken a wise decision not to be vindictive and did not file any complaint against your mother in law and sister in laws inspite of great provocation .
4) today your mother in law does not want to give any share in her property to her only son and prefers to give it to her daughters .
5) forget it . dont hanker for any property share . with gods grace you would be able to buy more flats during your life time on account of your income .
6) i would go a step further . tell your mother in law to bequeath her property to her 3 daughters only and that you and your husband dont want any share in said property .
it is your mother in law loss if she is not able to appreciate your finer qualities and
enjoy love and affection of her grand child .
Poonam
(Querist) 26 May 2013
@Ajay Sethi- Thank you very much sir. I really appreciate your advise. Infact me and my husband also thought of doing the same. I will always pray for her and my parents good health and we all should be happy.
Thanks once again!
ajay sethi
(Expert) 26 May 2013
thanks for your appreciation
Guest
(Expert) 26 May 2013
Dear Poonam,
Thanks for your clarification that indicates that you have not yet made up your mind to use dowry and DV tools, which are now pretty common for the ladies to take advantage of.
By the way, what do you interpret by the words "what I FEEL"? Do you interpret the term "I feel" as judgmental? Furthermore, did you see any word in my reply to indicate that you would have misbehaved with your mother-in-law? I simply revealed my apprehension by stating, "you have not been able to win the heart of your mother-in-law so far." There is a lot of difference between the terms, "mix-up" and misbehaviour." You should also not forget that you can't also be judge of your own cause. Someone's behaviour is judged by others, and cannot be judged by self.
I can understand well that you have taken ill of my views, but you have not mentioned anything in your clarification, what actually you have done so far to mix-up with your husband's family? Of course, I can say frankly, if your thoughts are infested with such ideas of dowry, DV and police complaint, naturally, my apprehension gets confirmed that you have not yet been able to mix up in your matrimonial family. You seem to be dissatisfied with your in-laws, but you have also not stated what kind of domestic violence they have committed against you.
I hope, you would agree with me that judgment is made by knowing the views of both sides. Your story is one-sided, as neither your motber-in-law's views, nor sisters-in-law's views are there. Even we do not know what your husband has to say about the case.
You and your husband are very well placed, but still the query was from your side, not from your husband's side about your desire to claim the share of your MIL's house. Had your husband posted the problem, that could well have been construed as your husband's grievance against her own mother. But, both of you being so well off, your desire to get share out of the property of your mother-in-law was strange enough. Can you please suggest what should be construed from that, except that there is dearth of love, affection and mutual trust between you and your husband's family.
I believe that no mother shows discrimination towards her son unless he or his wife tries to intentionally neglect her. Rather, I have seen that Indian mothers have more attachment with their sons rather than their daughters.
I would like to use your own words, "Taali do haath se bajti hai." So better you would like to give due respect to her like a mother and reciprocally get that also.
Ideas of dowry and DV are the general tools now in the hands of ladies, for which nothing would have been strange had you also used that to tease your husband's family. But, your husband could also have lost faith in you. Needless to emphasise, for mental peace in family environment, mutual trust is a must. So, if you try to lodge a police complaint against your mother-in-law and sisters-on-law taking plea of dowry/DV, no doubt you can get mental solace momemtarily, but you would be getting your own, as well as your daughter's life ruined for ever. You can't anticipate the after effects of such type of cases at this age. It would be a sort of foolishment if it is presumed that the other side would keep quiet and would not defend their position by making counter-allegations. In fact both sides are ruined for life by initiating dowry and DV cases.
Mind it, if your husband is in your favour, nobody can dare to adopt domestic violence activities against you.
Raj Kumar Makkad
(Expert) 26 May 2013
I do endorse further clarification and wise advice of Ld. Dhingra ji.
Sudhir Kumar, Advocate
(Expert) 25 May 2013
