1) Do not lose your nerve. Stay healthy and start going for a walk in a park everyday even if you didn't do so earlier. If you cannot walk for long, go for a short walk. Just sit on a park bench if you don't feel like walking, and do some people watching. Don't smoke. At least if you have to smoke then don't inhale the smoke. If you feel that you do not have the emotional strength to work towards improving your physical health, then get help to improve your mental health, your mental strength. At any rate, even if you cannot improve your health, let it not deteriorate. Do not let your litigation push you over the crevice into diabetes, obesity, blood pressure, chain-smoking, zero exercise, zero going out, drinking too much, depression, psychosis, etc.

2) Get support from whoever is willing to support you. You do not HAVE to be strong, but you do need a shoulder to cry on, this much is for sure. Try to find support from your friends and family. Is there anyone you can call any time and discuss your problem with? Surely there is someone? Then do so, and do it regularly. Don't show weakness in front of A2 and A3 (your parents!), and do not let them grow weak in spirit, mind or body.

3) Always remember that this too shall pass. Suicide is not a solution, and such a step will hurt the people who truly care about you. DO NOT refuse to seek help if you feel disturbed, confused, demoralised, or stressed out for more than 24 hours at a stretch. Get a glass of beer or a cigarette if you can and you must, but make sure to talk to somebody who you know cares about you. It can be anyone, not necessarily a parent or a member of the opposite s*x.

4) Remember that most people you encounter in this fight –men and women– are sympathetic to you. Rejoice in this knowledge if you can, but derive solace from it at any rate.

5) If the litigation drags out over a long period, try to find female companionship if you can, but do it very very carefully, as the laws in our country are totally biased in favour of female accusers if the man they are accusing is not influential. Life gets very lonely without a woman to love you. As Indian men, the overwhelming majority of us are used to living without female companionship, and this is the way we have grown and spent our childhood and –unfortunately

in the case of 498a victims– our youth also. However, this does not mean that we do not have the right to be happy.

Try to find happiness, and always be polite, but always remember that women do not like weak men. They may like poor men or ugly men or rude men, but not weak men. At the same time remember that just because you are going through a rough phase is no reason for any female companion, friend or lover to mistreat you.

6) Be bold. Play mind games with the aggressor. Watch her every move but do not let her think that you are doing so. Note everything. React at an appropriate time and place. Don't call the aggressor unless your lawyer advises you to do so. Ignore her totally as if she does not exist. Let her feel your total unconcern for her very existence. Never get provoked if she shouts or talks nonsense. Remember that passive mental disintegration can work very well on such women.

Good luck in your fight brother. You're the man. Remain strong.

Orginally written by Manish Udar

1) Walk into the police station or the CAW cell or Pariwar Paramarsh Kendra five minutes before or after the complainant. Take similar precautions while walking out. If you have to go to another town then take a friend with you. Always keep your mobile with you when you go to the CAW cell, and keep it switched on. Carry with you any medicines which you need to take everyday, and do not carry any valuable items. Even the mobile phone which you carry should be cheap. Talk boldly and do not shout or fight.

Do not allow your wife to assault you. Try go with your mother or your sister when you are going to a place where you might meet your 498a wife. But even if your mother or sister is not with you, it does not give your wife the right to assault you. Gather a crowd if she makes any stupid attempt.

2) In court, do not let any hidden enemy of yours become a witness from your side. Try to attend all dates. Give as much information as is necessary, no more. Protect your parents from having to run around to lawyers and courts. Do all of this yourself.

3) Make baseless serious allegations against your wife if she has made baseless serious allegations against you. If she has dragged 2 of your relatives into the fight, sling legal mud at 8 of her relatives. They will put pressure on her and her parents to back down. Create such a storm of bad feelings that she starts to get discouraged.

4) If you feel that you have a weak case, then give your lawyer the brief that he has to drag out the case as long as possible. This will demoralise the other party. Also, in such a situation, refuse to give divorce to the other party. Let her fight for your money and the freedom to marry another man. Pay her back in the same coin as she has done to you. Remember that the lawyers who rule our country have made this jangled mess of laws so that their near and dear ones can profit from all the litigation. It does not bear saying here what profession their near and dear ones are likely to be practicing. Give those great men and women what they wanted from you. Litigate, litigate, and litigate.

5) Use RTI and letter writing to fight your case, but do not go gaga over such tools. Don't try to bribe your way out of trouble. Do everything legally.

6) Remember to file for divorce on grounds of cruelty or adultery or venereal disease only. Or for an annulment. After a long litigation she will come to the table for mutual consent divorce herself. One thing worth telling here is that the decision/findings of a civil court holds precedence over the decision of a criminal court of the same level. Therefore, if you are able to prove that it was your wife who committed cruelty upon you, or did other actions which amounted to cruelty, then she stands no chance of winning against you in the 498a case.

Similarly if you go in for a mutual consent divorce, the two of you cannot get it unless you both declare that you have no remaining dispute with each other. This is bulletproof protection against future civil and criminal litigation aimed at you or your family.

7) Never try to contact the Investigating officer or the public prosecutor, directly or indirectly. Never make a demand for your wife to withdraw her case, except while conciliation or mediation proceedings are in an ongoing phase.

8) File a suit for a permanent injunction against your wife and her parents. Let her and her family not enter your parents' house. Name her relatives also in the suit, just to be on the safe side, and to insult them.

9) Do not let your parents disinherit you or to disown you through a newspaper notice. Many lawyers recommend this as a way to prevent your wife from coming to your house. This is usually done in a format where the parent disowns his son and daughter-in-law as one unit. This is a foolish step, and renders any previous will null and void, and has the potential to leave you homeless should something happen to your parents.

10) Do not change your place of residence unless your lawyer convinces you logically that this is what you need to do in order to gain some legal advantage. Your home is your castle, and nobody should be able to turn you out of it by scaring you.

Remember, softly softly catchee monkee.

Orginally Written by Manish Udar

how stress ful of information and how much pain you had taken to gather such important information is most important and we should take care the points you have mentioned in the paras which are very much useful for the ongoing persons who are facing the cases inthe courts 

i am a female victim of false 498A but I really appreciate your motivation and efforts for other accused in 498A.....

It is more painful when women of the husbands side wether mother or sister are draged in the false cases by other women i.e wife of his son or brother.

How injustice is granted in this woman freindly country.One side the law is made for women and other side the laws are unparallel to mother and sisters.

But one thing is clear jaise diamond hi diamond ko kat sakta hai waise hi ek aurat hi dusre aurat ko kat sakti hai........

The startegies below:

1. Every mother after his sons marriage take all properties on her name via streedhan or by gifts in favor of her name.This protect the claim of DIL if it goes for divorce, as for wife streedhan no body can claim theek waise hi mother's streedhan can't be claimed.(Follow the chanakya niti-dushman ko kabhi chota nai samjhna chahiye,this follows from the starting.

2. Make all Video recordings of both side converstation when the girls side comes to grooms side for marriage settlement.Record each and every thing as what they have told in favor of her daughter.Like the girl is homely,girl is educated,girl is soveinour in nature etc etc.This will keep you safe in future when the real character of girl will come after marriage.

3. Take written statement of no dowry taken or given on judicial stam paper in fron of lawyer.(Even when dowry has been taken as this will lead you a safe side when they will claim that they have given this much for that purpose.Here the matter of money closed).

4. Before marriage see all the certificate of girls education and experience and ask her to give boys side all the attested copies of her education and experience documents dully signed by gazzeted officer.(It will be your weapon used for maintenance case once she will lie).

5. Initially every girl will behave politely and unaturally but the real colour of the girl will come out within a week as she can't resist her natural behaviour at any circumstatnces.So,Before coming of the girl to her matrimonial home,every guy should have to put dvr camera in his house to gather her behaviour if she become nasty.(Proof at initial stage is very prominent becauze at that time she will not know that she is going to be traped in her shameful act if she becomes a 498a wife further.

6. During your first 2-3 months make your wife as lovely as you can,by giving care to her,dresses to her,movies etc.but make sure you always keep the snaps and bills which you have purchased or spended on her at safe mode.In future this will only help you against her cruleities.

7.As the laws are more women freindly and each day nobody know what will be the next increment will be given to wives by the govt. so be prepared earlier by following the first step of startegies by the concerned of your mother.

8. A mother and siter can only teach a lesson to this wicked womens.If their relatives or muscle men enters in husbands house in absent of him or in his presnece also.You both mother and sister come forward and make a hell out of it as they were misbehaving with you and tried to molest you.Make a case.Then see how this wicked wife and her inlaws will afraid to come in husbands house.

9. For false cases the base which you have made will certainly ruin their stregth to fight cases.Never afraid of going jail.As once the husband family is ready to face any consequences with more powerful thinking then no body on this earth can save these wicked ladies to go to dearth in their own consipiracies.

10. For gender biased law a gender biased ideas can only help one harassed husband to come out.

A sufferer...........

@author

appreciate your efforts here; great job. Sometimes we are forced to learn and do things that we dont wish to ; it is called LIFE :) It is the best

tutor.

Most of the 'educated us' tend to shy away from police, lawyers, manipulation etc., but it is an INTEGRAL part of our life so we better learn it to deal with such

bas*ards. 498a gang can teach you what noone ever could. wonderful isn't it?

Dear DV,Mahesh sir,Divya & Harsh,

Thanks alot for your appreciations for keeping myself indulge in the very root of this false cases and to collect the remedies not for me but entire victims of India too.

Atleast here we could share the sense of integrity by helping each other.

It's philosiphy of life that no body teaches a baby to cry for his milk , its hunger who teaches him to insist other to give him milk.

The same goes with victims here "A land of trouble is better than sink of dignity".So fight for your freedom until unless your breath doesn't ask freedom from you body.

A sufferer..........

In Preeti Gupta & Anr. V. State Of Jharkhand AIR 2010 SC 3363

SC allows couples to settle marital cruelty cases

NEW DELHI: In a first, the Supreme Court on Friday permitted settling of cases under Section 498A of IPC lodged by a woman against her husband and in-laws for alleged cruelty in her matrimonial home.

Though it was enacted to protect women from harassment and cruelty, there has been judicial recognition of the fact that on several occasions, false complaints under Section 498A were filed to teach the husband and his relatives a lesson as these cases were non-compoundable and bail was difficult.

Protective Orders, Burdens of Proof, and Court Procedure

In most jurisdictions, the proponent that domestic abuse has occurred carries the burden of proving the claim by only a “preponderance of the evidence.” A “preponderance” simply means that the party must prove that it is more likely than not that the abuse occurred. This is the lowest legal standard of proof in the court system and a great deal of discretion is left to a trial court in determining whether that standard has been met. All too often, Courts will issue a restraining order on extraordinarily weak evidence in order to err on the side of caution. After all, no Judge seeking reelection wants their picture splashed across the pages of the daily news trumpeting their failure to protect an abused person who is then later assaulted. It is equally confounding that civil domestic abuse hearings are conducted with little time to prepare, particularly for a defendant, as well as in an abbreviated fashion to accommodate the court’s crowded docket.

Whereas a person alleging domestic abuse may plan their case ahead, compiling documentation or manufacturing other evidence to support their claims, a defendant is often required to prepare a response to allegations of abuse in one or two weeks or less. When an evidentiary hearing is held, the Court may often limit testimony and evidence to fit the case into its busy schedule, often affording the parties less than an hour or two to present the case. Since procedurally the defendant presents their case second, his time is often extraordinarily limited. In most jurisdictions, an application for a domestic abuse restraining order will include seeking an ex parte emergency order followed later by more permanent order issued after a return hearing in court. In order for an ex parte restraining order to enter, a person (often assisted by a battered woman’s shelter, advocate or domestic abuse office) may file a Motion and Affidavit seeking ex parte relief.

Ex parte relief is emergency relief and the allegations considered by the court are one sided without and rebuttal by the person accused. Based on this one sided submission, the Court may issue a temporary restraining order that removes the defendant from the family home, precludes contact between the defendant and the victim and, often the children, and sets the matter for a court hearing in the near future, but often weeks away. At the return hearing, the parties are advised to bring their witnesses and evidence to address the issues of abuse raised by the ex parte petition. At this hearing, the Court in many jurisdictions will offer a defendant the following options: • Agree to the Restraining Order with no findings that abuse has occurred; • Proceed to an evidentiary hearing to Contest the Allegations.

The first option is often attractive given the low standards of proof that apply at domestic abuse hearings and the significant impact of a finding that abuse has occurred. Remember a finding that domestic abuse has occurred may create a presumption that the person should not be awarded custody of children. Agreeing to a restraining order without any findings of abuse may be a way for the defendant to live to fight another day in family court where there are custody issues involved.

The downside of such a concession is that: • a restraining order will enter for as long as a year, unless modified by a subsequent court order, that may restrict contact with the family home and children involved; • any violation of the order results in criminal action, this providing fodder for future false allegations that the order was violated; • the victim may later try to extend the order beyond its current time period and may often do so on flimsy evidence. The second option, contesting the allegations in court, requires an aggressive defense. All too often crowded domestic abuse calendars result in foreshortened hearings in which a court enters an order that can significantly affect the future rights of a defendant. You should always consider hiring an attorney is such settings to ensure that your rights are protected, that evidence is properly presented and so that inconsistencies in false allegations of abuse may be exposed.

Protecting Yourself Against Allegations of abuse

• Avoid Conflict. In the context of domestic abuse it can be truly said that an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. When there is marital conflict, particularly when a divorce is threatened, it is important to de-escalate any conflict. Remember, what constitutes a “threat of harm” as it relates to domestic abuse is subjective. Something as innocent as blocking a person’s egress from a room so that you can ”talk about things” may be interpreted as domestic abuse. Hanging up the telephone on a person for the same purpose, may be sufficient to sustain a domestic abuse order.

• Use Witnesses. When a divorce is threatened, it is always a good idea to have independent witnesses available when events are planned that could possibly result in conflict. Even after a conflict a witness may play a role by observing the environmental condition, whether any obvious injuries were suffered or the demeanor of parties involved.

• File for a Reciprocal Order. If the allegations of abuse stem from a particular domestic conflict, you may wish to file for a restraining order first. Even if that does not occur, many jurisdictions may allow you to seek an order after the fact resulting in a potential for reciprocal orders. In some jurisdictions the allegations of each petition may be addressed in the same hearing. In others separate hearings are held.

• Address the Legal Standard. All too often affidavits are filed seeking a restraining order where the allegation, if proven true, do not meet the legal standard for the entry of a restraining order. As a result, knowing the legal standard in your state can be important. Where insufficiencies in the pleadings are exposed, the case can be dismissed without an evidentiary hearing. For example, allegations that a defendant told a third party that he would harm the victim may be insufficient because it is based on hearsay or other unreliable evidence, and that the threat was not directly made or made with the intent that it would create a fear of harm in the victim. Incidents of abuse that occurred long ago are also often insufficient to support a case for domestic abuse if there are not allegations of current harm or instilling a fear of harm.

• Expose Factual Inconsistencies. Once domestic abuse has been alleged, a primary goal would be to expose inconsistencies in the allegations made. The strongest inconsistency would be having a strong alibi for the time in question. Is there any independent evidence to refute the allegations? Did you make a phone call during the time in question that can be borne out by telephone records or independent witnesses? Do you have any store receipts, cash machine receipts, work time sheet or records that can demonstrate your unavailability at the time of the alleged abuse? Are there any potential witnesses who may have seen bruises or injuries allegedly sustained in a domestic incident, dating to times before the incidents alleged?

• Expose Documentary Inconsistencies. The more statements a person makes about their allegations of abuse, the greater chance there may be that inconsistencies in their statements will exist. Carefully compare affidavits against police reports or other records that may exist including statements appearing in child protection records or medical treatment reports.

• Expose Behavioral Inconsistencies. After domestic abuse has been alleged, it may be critical to point out that the victim acted inconsistently from the way a victim would have reacted. How much time elapsed between the alleged incidents of abuse and the complaint filed? Did the victim initiate friendly contact after the abusive incidents that are alleged? Did the victim allow parenting time after the abusive incidents alleged? Did the victim contact the police, parents, friends or any other individuals at the time or shortly after the alleged incident of abuse occurred? Who did the person call after the alleged incidents of abuse occurred?

• Expose Motivation to Fabricate. Any evidence that an alleged victim had a motive to lie is valuable. The most relevant evidence is independent evidence such as letters, e-mails or other documentation from the victim threatening a custody battle or implying that they may allege abuse has occurred.

• Challenge General Allegations. Allegations of abuse can often be rambling and generalized so that no specific dates or times are included. Such allegations may be challenges as too general in nature and insufficient to meet the burden of proving that abuse occurred with a preponderance of the evidence.

• Object to New Allegations. Many Court will not allow a victim to supplement her initial pleadings with new allegations at the time of the hearing. This often occurs where the victim’s initial allegations were generalized or where she feels that the case is not going well. An objection may be made that the testimony being presented is outside the scope of the original pleadings and, as a result, prejudices the defendant’s ability to respond. In many jurisdictions, such testimony may be excluded.

Presenting Your Case

At a return hearing, the court will hear evidence related to the allegations of abuse. Before that occurs, the Court may ask the defendant if he objects to the entry of the protective order or if he will agree to its entry without any findings that abuse occurred. After establishing that a hearing must be held, the Court may instruct the parties that they have a limited amount of time to present their case.

The petitioner or plaintiff is the person making the allegations of abuse. That person would present their case first by calling their witnesses to testify and presenting any supporting evidence through those witnesses.
The respondent or defendant is the person defending against the allegations of abuse. He will have the opportunity to make objections to testimony or evidence that is improperly offered and to cross examine any witnesses that testify including the petitioner. During direct examination, listen for testimony that is not based on personal experience. Such testimony should be objected to as inadmissible hearsay. Key phrases to listen for to identify hearsay statements include: “she said”; “I was told”; “I learned”; “it said.”

When documents are presented as evidence, listen to the testimony to determine whether there has been any foundation laid for the document presented. “Foundation” means that the witness has testified to establish facts demonstrating that there is a sufficient basis to believe the document is authentic and reliable. If not, you may object to the exhibit as “lacking foundation.” A witness may also not testify to the content of a document unless and until it has been offered and accepted by the court as an exhibit.

With regard to your cross examination, it is important to prepare an outline of questions for each witness that you will cross examine including the testimony that you intend to illicit. In cross examination, you should focus on exposing inconsistencies in the petitioner’s claims including the timing of the events alleged, location where they occurred, persons present, inconsistent behaviors of the victim after the alleged incident, motives for the witness or victim to lie, and inconsistencies with other statements made by the victim. In cross examination, you do not argue with the witness. You will have the chance to present your own version of facts as part of your case in chief. Instead, cross examination questions should be leading and state a particular fact. Or example, instead of asking the open ended questions of “what happened.” You should tell the witness what happened. Some examples include:

1. “Isn’t it true that you spoke with the victim in preparing for your testimony today?”

2. “In fact, you spoke to her more than once?”

3. ”You consider her a friend of yours?”

4. “You would like to see her prevail today, isn’t that right?”

5. “Isn’t it true that you weren’t present at the time the abuse alleged occurred?”

6. “Isn’t it true that the only information that you have comes from what the victim told you?”

After the petitioner has presented all of her witnesses, the court will afford you the opportunity to present your case. At that time you would call any witnesses testifying on your behalf. You would question those witnesses first. After your questioning is completed, the other party has an opportunity to cross examine them. It is generally not a good idea to call a witness who may be hostile to your position or who have do not know what they will say. You should prepare your witnesses in advance by discussing the potential questions that you will ask each of them and what you believe may be asked by the opposing party on cross examination.

Direct examination of your own witnesses is vastly different from cross examination. On direct examination, your witness is the star. You should ask them open ended questions and allow them to explain to the court what occurred in narrative fashion. You cannot lead them. A good question may be as simple as “what happened next?”

When presenting evidence such as a photo or a document, you must establish foundation for that record through your witness. Foundation may be established by demonstrating how and when the record or photo was created and that it is a true and accurate depiction of the statements or images it represents. For example, foundation questions may follow a pattern similar to the example below:

1. “Your honor, may I approach the witness?” (You may have to have the exhibit marked by the clerk if that was not done in advance of the hearing. That means a sticker is placed on the record with a number or letter on it identifying it as “exhibit 1” or “exhibit A”).

2. “Mr. Jones, I am showing you what has been marked as Exhibit 1. Do you recognize this photograph?”

3. “Who took the photograph?”

4. “When was it taken?”

5. “Were you present at that time.”

6. “Is it a fair and accurate depiction of the home on that day?”

7. (After foundation has been laid, you publish the photograph by showing it to the opposing party or counsel and move the court for its admission into evidence.) “Your honor, defendant offers Exhibit 1.”

8. (Once the exhibit has been accepted into evidence, only then may you question the witness about its contents).

After the defendant has called their last witness, they would rest. At that time, the Court may allow the parties to make short closing arguments why they believe the court should or should not enter the protective order. This is a time to summarize the weaknesses in the evidence and to argue that the plaintiff has not met her burden of proof under the statute.

After these brief arguments, the Court will issue its ruling.

Wife has to prove cruelty to get maintenance: HC

https://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/city/mumbai/Wife-has-to-prove-cruelty-to-get-maintenance-HC/articleshow/8156813.cms