Child Abuse seeking protection

@ Author

1. You need a psy. counseling more than Protection Order. This is how married wife misuse Law by putting such so called 'innocent' questions.
1.1 Do take your husband too on these counseling sessons.
1.2 Kindly donot think to misuse DV Act with such frivilous questions here.
Reasoning: You are a adult now and on top of it you are married with a child. All your life's ups and down is supposed to be looked after by your husband now and by your in laws. Moreover Dowry is not something that your mother is bound to give and later if not given after 1 year that is after child birth then now donot force your own flesh and blood (mother) to give it and yet later claim here that you and your mother are innocent in "giving" dowry.

Dear Namaste

I think your parents specially your mother also needs counselling.Don't insist  for dowry to give.

Discuss the matter with husband and have understanding with him.Ignore your mother where her presence or influence is not necessary.For that u must get over from the trauma of getting  abused in childhood.So u too need expert counselling

DV Act won't be applicable to your mother to get you protection order .Some people can't express anything without mentioning that Act.Good luck.

Sorry to hear your story...and people believe that a girl's mother is always a good "naari"..while mother-in-law is always bad.

From what you have stated, it appears that one day your mom and bro can probably force you to file cases on your in-laws. You are grown up enough to decide whats right for you and whats not!

I would suggest you to favor the right only and think about the future of your kids, dont bother about such silly matters at all. You have full right to ask your mom not to come to your place and disturb you and your happy married life. Tell her that she also has a son and she will know how it feels when her daughter-in-law's family keeps interfering in her home....I am sure she will improve her ways by those words..best of luck!

Dear Fellow member @namaste,

First of all, don't give dowry to your in-laws and don't expect your parents (mom) to give dowry either. Even giving dowry is a crime and we should not do unlawful acts.

Apart from the above, I can see that you have problem from your mother and not mother-in-law. If you maintain good communication with your in-laws and your husband, now that you have one more family, you will not need to worry about your mom. You should not even file any case on your mom, you can simply ignore her. Few more things that you can do :

1. Join a job so that your mother is not able to bother you at least for those many hours.

2. Avoid going frequently to your mom's place

3. Avoid taking your mom's calls frequently or calling her up

4. Whenever she interferes in your personal matters and those of your in-laws family, politely ask her not to do that because it is someone else's family matter

5. Try to think less about her. You can also try some relaxation exercise / Pranayam when you are upset because of her

ms namaste,

after reading your post, i have some question for you.

1) is your husband or in laws, displeaced with you, when your mother calls them?

2) is your hsband having sufficient income to maintain the family?

3) are you staying with your mom or husband?

4) i guess that, you are staying with your husband, you are matured and intelligent also, then why are you not telling your mother, - not to interfere unnecessarily.?

5) i hope your husband has sufficient income, promised dowry not a matter to him, he can earn more, - then why are you not ignoring the so called dowry?

please believe me even when they are told they don't listen. usually they would have become emboldend by the  control they had on the child from the beginning, they don't have confidence in the child that it can stand up on its own feet so they don't give things which actually empower. (take it from someone who actually experienced these things)

dear avani

with regards to your query

1. Join a job so that your mother is not able to bother you at least for those many hours.

Due to childhood abuse and its after effects I am unable to get any job. I have been jobless from last 3 years i suffer from severe depression.

2. Avoid going frequently to your mom's place

I stopped going to her place 2 years ago. The last time i went in there she started telling my husband to bring my in-laws here and make them stay with me. She knows well i dont get along with my motherinlaw. My mother in law wants the flat which my mother promised to her before marriage. But after marriage my mother is not ready to part with it. So my mother in law keeps on fighting with me. 

3. Avoid taking your mom's calls frequently or calling her up

She is abusive on the phone and talks nastly i have not called her up since one year. She bangs the phone. Earlier she used to call up my husband every alternate day and asked information about me. If my husband's phone was out of network she would call on my number and ask me to give the phone to him. She used to poison my husband against me.

4. Whenever she interferes in your personal matters and those of your in-laws family, politely ask her not to do that because it is someone else's family matter

I told her this. She used to interfere a lot. 

5. Try to think less about her. You can also try some relaxation exercise / Pranayam when you are upset because of her

I dont feel safe with her hovering around here.

Mr. Arup,

Answering your questions

after reading your post, i have some question for you.

1) is your husband or in laws, displeaced with you, when your mother calls them?

My husband was constantly harassed by my mother, she as verbally abused him on phone several times. My in laws are displeased with her because she had promised a flat to them before marriage but after marriage she changed the words. She is not keeping her promise.

2) is your hsband having sufficient income to maintain the family?

yes

3) are you staying with your mom or husband?

husband

4) i guess that, you are staying with your husband, you are matured and intelligent also, then why are you not telling your mother, - not to interfere unnecessarily.?

i have told her but she is having some serious problems and continues with her madness

5) i hope your husband has sufficient income, promised dowry not a matter to him, he can earn more, - then why are you not ignoring the so called dowry?

yes they get a thrill or high by controlling a person

and when they see that the person is living happily then they cant get peace of mind

they try different tactics such people are narcisstic.

@ Namaste

I have understood your problem.Both your mum and mum-inlaw are troublemakers.

What is your husband's reaction to your mum not giving dowry?Does he also abuse you for the same,or does he have no interest?

If your husband is a good person and not greedy type,convince him to live separately in a different house where your inlaws do not live.If your hubby doesn't agree,urge him to go to a marriage counsellor,who will help him understand your viewpoint.

Do this much to start with so that you have a peaceful house.

@meenal

That is what we are doing I and my husband live separately. My husband is not interested in dowry

He as repeatedly told his mother not to ask for dowry

But she wont relent. And my mother gets to enjoy the fun when my mother in law is here.

My mother keeps telling my husband to live with my mother in law. she wants me to suffer at hands of my mother in law so she is not parting with the promised dowry also and constantly disturbing us

Install a caller ID in your landline phone.So when your mum calls,you recognize and don't attend it.

Similarly tell your husband to avoid your mum's calls if she calls him on his mobile.

Is it possible for your hubby to take a house v.far from your mum's house,so that it's difficult for her to travel daily to harass you.

@meenal

I have barring a call facility on my mobile

I have barred calls from my mom and brother. THey were calling me up to abuse me verbally and mentally but i wont answer their calls and phone used to get disconnected immediately after one ring.

THis facility saved me lot of trouble.

About house well we are trying to get out of this country if possible but nothing working out so atleast we are trying to relocate to other city and settle down.

But my hubby is not trying hard enough and i dont feel safe here 

To Namaste & Others:

Don't we have something like a RESTRAINING ORDER in India? 
In America, if a person tries to contact another person against their wishes and force their presence in their home etc, they can get a restraining order barring such a person from making unwanted contact.
Everybody is trying to be her shrink and ignoring her very obvious need for stopping unwanted contact from her mother and brother who are capable of using physical force for barging into her home.