Daughters-in-law emerge as major abuser of elderly - Study

usually in families, women dont get along well with each other,except when they are mum-daughter,sister-sister,etc.Although exceptional cases can be there in these 2 pairs also.still,these pairs are also the closest and more understanding towards each others' needs.

in a matrimonial home,there's always jealousy b/w MILs and DILs,devrani jethani,bhabhi-nanad,and so on....this has been happening for ages and will continue to happen.this jealousy is the cause of all abuses.

we all know that these people never get along well.then why have we made such stupid rules that these people have to survive with one another under the same roof??

in my opinion,daughters shud live with parents after marriage.this way,elderly can be taken care of,and there will be no dowry deaths.i know this idea seems weird but this is wot i feel.the compatibility is always higher when a girl deals with her own family,compared to inlaws.

if parents have no daughter,then of course the son shud care for them.

I suspect even if sister-sister can get along well when their husband are with them...  

Thanks to almigty for giving Male Homo sapiens some biological and physical advantages otherwise who knows what would have happened ;P

1. The doable suggestion is to make SON independent from the very date of marriage. Ask him to leave parents home and establish seperate NEST and divide his "duties" to new family and bloodline family equaly. 


This is the only way DIL can remain happy taking her "responsibilities / duties" seriously as well as friction with matrimonial In Laws can come down.
Reasoning:
A. Well are not present Family laws all about above to make further comments to above suggestion ! 
B. Duties to self raised family as well as parents are fulfiled by a SON.
C. DIL will take up responsibilities / duties which is bone of complaint and root of all cases otherwise why a MIL / elders from his side of family have anything to complain about?
D. Parents of WIFE will teach her taking up "responsibilities / duties" more than "demanding rights" from breast feeding days.
E. Joint familys are today no m ore joint due to DIL n MIL frictions curtsey Family Laws
F. Nuleaus family is the only way out. In International scenarios does not new nests survive and also balance their bond with their side of families ? Also read International Family Laws they are so clear and less time wasting once.
G. Neither SON nor DIL can be called "bechara and or abala" if above is followed in emerging India.

As i have been saying earlier as well , All rights for Wives and all duties for poor husbands !!! 

Right's of Husband.------ 

Searching...............

Even google have no answer.

Duties of wife --

Give birth & look after her childrens. This one left b'coz man can't do it. (god is  so cruel NA)

( tell more if you know,  )

( if demanded increase it lead to cruelty. )

You hit the bulls eye Zeeshan !!

@Roshni B

" in my opinion,daughters shud live with parents after marriage.this way,elderly can be taken care of,and there will be no dowry deaths.i know this idea seems weird but this is wot i feel.the compatibility is always higher when a girl deals with her own family,compared to inlaws.

if parents have no daughter,then of course the son shud care for them. "

Bahut zordar idea he! but not so fullproof Parental intrusion ruining couples' marital life that we  seen earlier in many cases.Husband jaye naukri pe aur ghar pe chalta mahbharat  Saas Bahu Aur Saazish or Saas Bahu Aur Sens*x .Bechara Damaad .....then becomes a judge collect some evidences(suni wife ki awwaz ya maki and take some action but most of time his decision are biased.And thereafter comes before the court and now action ,drama,immotional ,paisa start.We only have to defend our client case whether he/she.Fir husabnd said,Tu Paisa Paisa Karti Hai Kyon Paise Pe Tu Marti he.

If husband has to look on truth then their shall not be any dispute and he shall never come before the court.The same is applied to wife also.But bhagvan ne har ek ka dimmag aalag diya usme sub appne appne souch se chalte he kutch greedy to kutch acche.

I remember one quote:Your sun and mine rises at the same sky. We face the same day as it passes by. The only difference is I live this day knowing that I love you while you live this day not knowing that I do..There is only one happiness in life,to love and be loved.

Har ek aapni duty acchi tarah se fufill kare to accha nahi to .....

in my opinion,daughters shud live with parents after marriage.this way,elderly can be taken care of,and there will be no dowry deaths.i know this idea seems weird but this is wot i feel.the compatibility is always higher when a girl deals with her own family,compared to inlaws. if parents have no daughter,then of course the son shud care for them.

Very good idea Roshni.This is the only way to prevent fake 498A cases.

Zeeshan, why worry about women's pragnancy??Male must co-operate with his wife during pragnancy.Women should be allowed to do duties of a husband.To maintain husband and HER parents.The husband sholud come to live with his wife in in-laws house.Only then equality will be maintained in true sense.

Women should be allowed to feel how a man leaves his own parents for her.How he forgets his duty towards his  ill parents for being son-in law of a family.He should be taught from his childhood that the home he is living and people with whom he is living are not his own.Those whom he is connected after mariage are only own people.He should forget them after his marriage and serve wife and her family.He should take 6months paternity leave to take care of the new born because his wife has to work to earn livilihiood.

Maintenance laws, dowry laws and adultary laws sholud be reversed and women should be allowed to feel how it feels these laws are misused.Women should be allowd to enjoy life with other men while their husbands are busy with kids.Because she earns, she has right to do that.If she want she can throw his husband out and have a new one in life.Then husbands should not misuse the laws in his favour.

Guys can you imagine such an India where such equalities will be ,maintained??????????????????? 

Why don't you guys look into prenuptial agreements - have utterly calculated marriages with assets, chores, duties and responsibilities all chalked out. When it doesn't work, let a computer program decide who walks away with what.

its not so pleasant to start a marital relationship with pre-nuptials.no one wants to think of how the arrangements shud be,if a divorce happens.no one wants to think of -ve things like divorce,on a happy day like marriage.

and wots the guaranbtee that pre-nuptial agreements will be properly followed?are indians so ethical that they stick to their word?they will find other ways to misuse loopholes in law,so that they avoid following these agreements.

wot if the husband purchases property after marriage?so it is not included in pre-nuptial agreement?

The document consists of an inventory of what each proposed spouse owns, such as property or other assets, as well as their debts. It also spells out how pre-marriage as well as post - marriage property will be shared once they get married. It also spells on custody of children etc.

And most importantly, a pre-nups specifies how property will be divided in the event of divorce and whether you will pay alimony or spousal support. Typically, a document states that both people keep what assets they bring into the marriage. They do not take each other's possessions. This means you keep the flat you bought before you met her, and she keeps the car she bought as an illustration stated. The agreement also specifies how assets built during the marriage are divided. A 50/50 split is typical as is prevalent in the West.

It is a silver lining point that many couple sin relationships in India have not tried it out may be due to lack of awareness other than some sporadic media news item of legal Asst. to a female high profile Sr. Adv. from D HC pre-nup we heard few months back. But then it is being thought about seriously in metro relationships is the encouraging mute point here.

However, in nutshell why only talk of "wot if the husband purchases property after marriage" why not "wot if the wife purchases property after marriage?" I mean where is gender neutrality left in such questions!


Kya aisa nahi hota hai India mei post marriage kya ki wife property apaney paise se nahi kharitati hai!

In the male dominated society, the pre-nuptials go on like this:

1.  Neither dowry is given nor dowry is taken (lakhs of rupees if not crores of rupees has exchanged from bride's family to bridegroom's family).

2.  Only mangalsutra is given to the bride as stri-dhan (all the other gold and silver ornaments appear in photos and videos are taken from relatives of bride and after marriage given to them).  No more stridhan worth mentioning is given.

3. All the marriage expenses are borne by both the parties equally and in the event of divorce,  no one can claim from the other any amount under this head.

4.  After marriage, the bride (if working) will give all her salary to the husband and claim only conveyance and tiffin allowance.  After the marriage, the husband has got full rights either to allow the wife to go outside to work or not and also he has got full rights to ask her to change the jobs.  But she will not claim same right againnst him.

5.  After marriage, she will remain in matrimonial home along with in-laws and sister-in-laws and brother-in-laws and discharge her house wife duties, cooking, washing etc.  She shall not insist that being a working woman, she will do only half of  household work and remaining has to be done by other family members.  She will not under any circumstances ask for separate house for her and her husband.  She will not talk about her parental home or remember them.

6.  As the husband's earnings are higher side, the property acquired after the marriage shall be kept with the husband in the event of divorce.  She cannot claim any right about it irrespective of her right accures from any statutory provision.

7. For any reason, if she commits suicide, she will write a letter before doing that saying that no one in matrimonial life is responsible for her death and no cruelty is perpetrated against her by any one.  If she fails to write any such letter, this provision of this prenuptial deemed to be the written letter prior to suicide.

8.  If she begets the boy, the custody of the child will be with the father, in the event of divorce.

9.  If she begets the girl, the custody of the child will be with the mother, in the event of divorce and the father has visitation rights according to his wish.

10.  She will not object if he has any live-in-relationship with any one during the existence of matrimonial life.

11.  In the event of divorce, the wife will not file any case for maintenance, custody of children, permanent alimony, DOMESTIC VIOLENCE ACT AND SECTION 498-A OR SECTION 306-IPC (ABETMENT OF SUICIDE)   or any other civil / criminal statute which is in effect or which will be in effect in future.

12.  In the event of husband's desire to have MCD, the wife will sign on the dotted lines and appear in the court and say that she agrees for it as her free choice.

13.  Finally, the provisions of this pre-nuptial have over-riding effects on all those Acts passed by the parliament and state legislatures, or rules, regulations, bye-laws passed by various statutory authorities.

This prenuptial is signed without force and with free will.

I am quite sure the brides and their parents just closing their eyes sign on the dotted lines.

HAVE YOU NOT SEEN AGREEMENTS BETWEEN THE EMPLOYERS-EMPLOYEES, GOVERNMENT ORGNAISATIONS AND INDIVIDUAL CITIZENS, SERVICE PROVIDERS AND CONSUMERS - IN EVERY AGREEMENT IT IS HEAVILY LOADED TOWARDS FORMER AND THE LATTER HAS HARDLY ANY RIGHT. 

Usual mis- guidance expected from a @ Law Officer and fixation of gender misuse laws result in above mentioning which I heavily disagree.

Prenuptial: What are they and how to ensure they are enforceable in India ?

[Quite thinkable for emerging Indian cities living couples based]

Prenuptials are enforceable guidelines contrary to popular perceptions it is not only about financials but is much more.  

It is well said that you might love blindly but get into marriage with your eye completely open (Guys I do not mean with popping eyes while looking at your to be)

Prenuptial agreement is more likely to stand up if it meets the following conditions:

·        The Agreement should be fair, and duly acknowledged.

·        The Agreement should have attorney certification from both parties as well.

·        The Agreement should have clause stating that if any provision of the agreement is invalidated, the rest of the agreement still remains in effect.

·        There should be listing attached showing each spouse's assets and liabilities.

·        The Agreement should have all the clauses of agreements arrived at between the prospective spouses.

·        The Agreement may also contain the necessary history of proposed alliance.

·         The Agreement should be reviewed by separate lawyers and duly certified by them.

·        The Agreement should be setting out each party's assets, debts, and property rights before the marriage, settling issues of division of property and of spousal support in the event of marriage breakdown.

However the prenuptial agreement may at least check some false prosecutions by unscrupulous Women, who are misusing S. 498A IPC or Bharat Ratna DV Act of IPC for blackmail and Extortion of money, as well as it will reduce the fraud or honeymoon Marriage by Men.

That means, if the both party are genuine, transparent and do not have any pre-planned ill mind, will accept the same before marriage itself.

The Prenuptial Agreement cannot counter Section 498A IPC at all, but may reduce the damage Caused by misuse of the law by Legal Terrorists.

Some of those people, who refuse to see dangers and consequences of false S. 498A IPC or Bharat Ratna DV Act cases and brush aside the truth, thinking nothing is going to happen to them, may find this as cheap insurance policy like medical Insurance, which is not very popular in India.

It has got three Modules: Entry Module, Operations Module, and Separation module.

A. Entry Module:

Examples of preconditions:
1. HIV tests 
2. Horoscope matching  
3. Proof of age 
4. Passport copies, getting a passport
5. Proof of educations
6. Trial Period 
7. Mode of calling of the marriage.
8. Expense sharing for preparation of marriage 
9. Expense sharing or compensation incase of calling of the marriage
10.Gift records (setting limits)

B. Operations Module

1. Lifestyle related
Illustration: How will the various items required for running marital life will be bought 

1. Car (who buys or who rents)
2. House
3. Furniture etc.
4. Holidays
          
What percentage income will each put for common pool also called as marital pool and it may also include pocket money savings too if so desired.

How will the common pool be operated (either or both)  

What happens if one person puts from their pool into marital pool is it to be treated as gift or a zero percent loan to the other spouse. 
Illustration: if a husband becomes unemployed then the wife would put in some money is it to be treated as marital expense or loan to the marital pool) 

Who gifts what to whom, setting the limit of yearly gift from close relative (for eg:- in first Diwali the girls parent usually gift. Limits can be set on what can be received) 

In case of financial despair acceptable sources to tap and the modalities.

2. Definition cruelty: You are setting certain expectations from your spouse here as various Family Laws in India says mental cruelty depends in the conditions. This gives you a chance to clearly define these are a not acceptable and this are acceptable to some extent, also you can grade it to cruelty, violence and crime.

3. Household chores (cooking, cleaning, laundry etc)

4. Child planning (when, how many, where)

5. Define exception conditions (Example if the couple cannot conceive then adoption or surrogate or IVF etc.)

6. Rules of staying away (Transfer say in Govt. Jobs or even in pvt. Jobs) 

7. Rules of abortion (Either or both consent related)

8. Rules of meeting parental obligations (in-house, in complex situations etc.)  

 
C. Separation module  

Define the alimony (indexed on wholesale Price index, index on income, limiting alimony based on tax limits etc ).

Define the shared parenting responsibilities (residence, schooling, clothing, food. , marriage and medical needs. Mode of collection of the Childs needs).

Define the rules for division of marital property (Operation module defines how the marital property will be accrued).

Define residential rules for children.

Not necessarily disclosure has to be made rather a declaration has to be made that the other party does not care about the other persons pre marital assets. 

A marital pool has to be defined regardless of assets.

People think that prenuptials are just two to three pages. Nothing can be far from the truth. A good prenuptial is at a minimum of 40 to 50 pages.

Credits: Save Family Foundation

thanks Tajobs!