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aniche (manager)     19 February 2012

Mental torture on men

 

 have been married for almost 4 yrs with 2 yrs old lovely daughter. 

Marriage has not been smooth for me due to adjustment problems with my wife.  It was merely after 3-4 months that her dislike to stay with my family came up. Complaints against my parents were regular. Then she started staying with me separately as I was posted for job away from my home town. 

Still the complaints against my parents continued as I used to visit them once in 2 months. My mother used to come to see us once in 6 months only return home more humiliated by my wife. Initially I could not stand the humiliation and used to shout a long on my wife. Later I corrected my self  prefer remaining quiet during a fight. Never did I physically abuse her. The worst I did was to hold her hand tighty. 

Abusive languages still exist and my only way of protest now is to remain silent and not talk to her or have s*x with her. This goes upto 4-5 days at a stretch.  She still intimidates my with abusive language with " having s*x with my brother/sister" , Spineless , Charecterless who sleep with other women, "   many more. She has a habbit of shouting , throwing and breaking things when angry. I have proof that she droped the TV set off the stand, throw my newly bought mobile. I have picture of room scatered with books and other things. She even provokes me to hit her and that she would call the police. I do not know how long will I be able to handle this silently and fear that I may loose my cool one day and assult her which will surely have adverse effects and I may land up in Jail.  I am not sure that I want a  divorce but surely would know what are the legal options open for me.  

I am not able to bear this torture any further. Please advice.

Regards 

Unknown



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 10 Replies

Shwetha (Software Engineer)     19 February 2012

your daughter is definitely not growing up in a healthy environment...

legal options always result in more bitterness and finally divorce...but you say you dont want to go for divorce...

you both can consider marriage counselling...

however, if you want divoce, i guess you've got enough grounds and evidences...but be sure you have an evidence of clear communication from your side that you are willing to return her all her streedhan and any money recieved by her parents...you can write her a letter or an email...this way you will be 498A proof...becasue the money you mention divorce, this lady is bound to file 498A and DV...

Kiran Kumar (Lawyer)     19 February 2012

unfortunately there has been a lot of misuse of pro-women laws.

 

its advisable to manage the situation amicably with the help of friends and relatives.

 

irresponsible media groups and some women organisations have worsen the situation in society...so dear keep your cool and try to make compromise with certain things in order to safegaurd life of your daughter.

1 Like

(Guest)

counselling would be better option.

Nandha (NIL)     20 February 2012

@aniche,

i am also facing similar situation like yours. But don't ever lose your cool and slap your wife. even if do not abuse her physically, she can tell lies in the court. There may not be need for evidence, just wife's word is enough for filing cases against you.

Try to get rid of her as soon as possible. Otherwise, you may have to pay a high price for it.

All the best

nandha

 

 

 

 

1 Like

Nandha (NIL)     20 February 2012

@shweta,

Could you please clarify how does a letter to the wife communicating that husband is willing to return the streedhaan help in 498a case?

All the streedhan (mostly golden jewelleries) she brought from her home is in her name in the bank locker. Should I still write to her that she can take back all her streedhan?

 

aniche (manager)     20 February 2012

@Sweta - Thanks for your opinion.I have not taken any dowry during marriage, the only streedahan is what her parents gave voluntarity . But you suggested writing a letter. Should I consult a lawyer in drafting this letter. My wife stays with me so should I post it in my inlaws address ?

Nandha (NIL)     20 February 2012

@aniche, sweta

even i wanted to know the same.

Nandha (NIL)     20 February 2012

Alimony has to be paid to erring spouse. Worth reading the judgement

https://mynation.net/docs/1758-1996/

 

kumar101 (clerk)     20 February 2012

Why are the judges so pro women. Can't they use common sense .

DEFENSE ADVOCATE.-firmaction@g (POWER OF DEFENSE IS IMMENSE )     20 February 2012

 

It is a systematic campaign to malign womanhood as a whole.

Woman is a mother, she gives birth to keep human existence alive.

She looks week and hence gets exploited by men in number of ways.

And by logic you can not prove any thing particularly the basic virtues of a woman.


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