Harassment from husband & visiting prostitutes

This is one problem not two.

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You can have an advocate file a DV case.

If he is addicted to prostitutes he can out of it until he is old.Such person never return back to wife.Either your sister has to ignore it indulging herself to creative activities or file a domestic violence case for not getting beaten anymore.

1. Ask her to get over her despondency.

2. If she, with all her efforts, have not been able to zero in on the reason, she may still make more efforts with reporting to her MIL or close relative or friend to intervene OR

3. She may choose to shift her family to a new city where SUCH supply is not there for a reason unless there are social supply he will not demand going to THEM OR

4. She may exhort to take control of all his finances by carrot and stick policy henceon for a reson unless supply to his pocket money is cut he cannot service his pleasures outside marriage OR
 

5. Take professional help by finding her an advocate via reference and filing papers for her divorce r/w financial protection to herself / minors.

Coming to Law portal website one should not expect social remedy to such germane marital issues.

In the meantime ask her to fall back to natal home for safety, security and well being of herself and her two minors and empower her to stand on her two feet.

I disagree to reasoning of @ Utpala aka Ranee… for a reason until money is there for such indulgences supply will flow and the moment you are not able to afford, same professionals will not offer their social services for free and you end up graduating to bigamy or keeping a mistress / live-in, while still in marriage which becomes bigger problems for couples! And either gender indulgences such change of heart and these have nothing to do with one genders age and it is seen such indulgences results out of lost charm in the very marriage the person is in r/w application of simple principles of economics of such social arrangements.

If he cant go to a five* hotel then will go for roadside puchkawala if he is fond of roadside food....  he will leave this habit only when his stomach will say "No".

Author has to find reason behind such behaviour, beating the spouse & finding alternative s*xual partner! If possible, try to address the real problem frontend & make sacrifices too.

Involve elders & respectables, take help of marriage councellors.

If these things fail or not possible in ur setup, get separated from him for quite some months & see the change. Even then if things donot improve, there is no point lingering this dead marriage anymore. Make up mind for MCD, secure ur valuables, finances & file MCD petition. This way u alone wont be forced to suffer in hell!

From a biological standpoint, human beings are not built for long-term romance, according to Billingham, whose research interests include interpersonal relationships, parent/child interactions and the long-term effect of divorce on children.Biologically, the body chemistry that makes our hearts flutter during a new relationship is replaced after several years with body chemistry geared more toward attachment, he says.Couples, therefore, need to work at keeping romance alive in long-term relationships.Finding time for romance is crucial to a marriage or committed long-term relationship, and it shouldn't be limited to anniversaries, Valentine's Day or other special occasions.If the charm in the marriage is lost than she has to re-kindle the same . All a prostitue wants is to abstract money from her client  and hence lures him with all that she can and seduces him. Faking out orgasms  :-) and making him happy .if your sister abandons him in this stage of depression and moves away from him he will get all the more worse . Your sister and the children should give him all the attachment he wants and the reason behind the root of the problem should be know it maybe work stress depression etc mood swings and its  better he visits a psychologisty .

A lot of people ober here give advise file DV or 498 A which is not a solution to the problem rather these cases break up the marriage which is a point of no return. 

Originally posted by : Gangadhara
	Sir/Madam, This is regarding my sister who is facing strange problems from her husband. Both are graduates & educated middleclass family. My sister is house wife. His mother is retired from a good government post. His father was expired when he was 2 years child. They are married in 2003 & husband seems to love my sister earlier & have two girl childs of 8 & 2 years. But, after about 3-4 years of marriage, he started beating my sister with silly reasons. After beating, he never realises his mistakes, stop speaking & always my sister only trying to speak to him. After some time, he realises his mistakes & apologizes her. This had happened about 8-10 times in past 6 years. Now, one more problem staretd. He is going to the prostitutes!! My sister knows this 3 months back & when asked about this, he promised that he will not repeat this again. But, it is come to know that he is continuing the same.   1) Beating with silly reasons 2) Going to prostitutes Whenever he gets anger, he asks her to get divorced. But, my sister wants to live with him & improve him. 2 problems to my sister But, im worried about her safety & future. Please suggest me something. Thanks

First and foremost wife in question should be telling to the husband in question that 'LOOK MISTER, YOU GO PROSTITUTE ALL THAT LATER TALK, BUT FIRST TELL YOU USE CONDOM OR NOT, coz I DONT WANT TO DIE FROM AIDS' coz if he not using condoms, he gets aids, anyway someday he will die, but why should the wife also die?

Now the beating part... Seen the ad about domestic violence RING THE BELL?

Ask her to do something like that, when the so called husband starts beating her, to scream atop her voice, and gather people, Trust me, people are angry for so many reasons, and once they get into that mood of saving that woman from beating, they will beat him black and blue and handover him to the  police.

Some people never really learn to value life, and that seems to be the case of the HUSBAND in question here.

The wife in question would want to stick to this woman beater [rahul mahajan type fellow] as there are grown up kids.  But the point is there is a point where one should say enough, you cannot keep pouring coffee into that mug even after it is full, remember you will spoil the floor and who knows may trip and fall only to fracture some bone, before that happens, it is better to part ways via MCD!

Thanks for all valuable suggestions & your time into the matter.

Now he is in good mood with my sister

My sister trying the following options.

1) To change his travelling job. He has agreed.

2) Consult psychologist first herself alone to explain the problem & taking him along with her in second visit. He has agreed. I dont know whether he will visit psychologist.

3) Trying to change him with love & affection as suggested by Mr. stanley.

I will keep informing the proceedings.

I would suggest a psychiatrist not a psychologist, and the psychiatrist should have expertise in de-addiction. There is an alcoholism problem somewhere in this story, which you have neglected to mention. She can go to VIMHANS if she is in Delhi.

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