Husband asking for divorce & am totally against it..

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@whats the use of opposing the divorce...it he has made up his mind then the marriage only remains on peice of paper, it wont sustain, it takes two to tango, you cant clap with one hand, there should be equal love and not one sided love. by opposing, you will only be wasting your own time and money, only if he relizes only then your marriage will sustain else it is dead

in depression you dont have any solution 

1 come out from your parental house and stay in your house (in-laws house) with there permission 

2. no phone contacts only go directly and stay there if he is not coming to take you, you go and stay there after all it is your home

3. if you need any one help take you in laws help to enter again in that house 

4. if he does not talk wait ,wait  patiently in mean time convince your in laws and be good to them (do not act) 

5. when salalry comes first hand it to your in laws 

this why i was telling because daily we see lot of cases of divorce but no women comes and tell that she want to leave with you in laws and your husband and you do not want divorce 

if you think you get some other steps first be friend with your in laws and enter the house and love your husband 

best of luck

My husband is atleast listening to what I am saying but my in laws are not even ready to see my face. I tried talking them even my parents tried but they said we dont want to talk and hang up call. I told my husband I am ready to behave how you people want me to but still he saying I need to think and stretching time saying need to think more. I have told him 4-5 months back itself that I am ready for all things but please let me come there stil they saying no. I am really tensed what to do.

Originally posted by : kdf
	I got married (love cum arrange marriage - Hindu & Jain) on 1/5/2012. After marriage as i was new to culture, couldn't cope up with thoughts of my in laws due to which arguments started between me and my mother in law.   I asked my husband to solve it but he couldn't. All are very traditional including my husband. Later I got to know I have spondelysis, vitamins and all had become less due to which I was unable to work and my in laws also dint help me. husband helped me in between. i broke down due to all this & fights started between me & my husband.later i asked husband to stay separate but he said no also his parents said they wont leave their son i may take any decision. so i left that house & came to my parents house (its 6 months now m staying at my parents house). after that i asked husband to take me back but now in laws saying we don't want you back. You can take your husband also with you. But now husband saying better we get separated as still we can move on in our lives and get good life partners. He is not independent money-wise being businessman and joint family but we both are software professionals.   I don't want divorce at all as I love him more than my life.   The above bolded text is in itself contradictory, if livnig with husband and leading married life was your only motive, which is a quitessential for marriage to flourish, you should not have fought/argued with elders. Now it cannot be undone. I apologized for all things even for which i had not done.   Still they not accepting me & he asking to get separated as he didn't trust me anymore.   Why this has happnd you very well know, and to add up the existing laws, out of anger or in order to take revenge if you go and stay with them and file some false complaint, they will all go to jail, they must be fearing this, that is the reason why they are not accepting you back. I tried convincing him a lot to start staying together "you will start trusting me and loving me again. We will win your parents too and will be back to my in laws again". But he is not ready. How should i convince him? till end i won't say yes for divorce as i love him a lot, he is my life. He asks me to convince him for staying together. He keeps on saying give me time give me time. Its 6 months how much more time should i give him? and inspite of giving time he says same thing again. Please suggest me what should I do. Please help me how should I change his mind from divorce to staying together again? Please help me its urgent..I am totally lost. I dont wanna lose him. Please help me. Please. Thanx..

Advice:  Only way forward is you go to your in-laws place alone, dont take baggage with you ie your parents/brother/sisters etc, fall to their feet and tell them that you have realized your mistake and that together you could lead a wonderful life ahead.  And to gain back that trust its not easy, it will take a lot of time, if they ever let you enter the premises.

If things do not go your way, forget the man saying he was never worth your sacrifice and your love.  Apply MCD, part ways peacefully.  

Eitherways, that one or this one any step you take, dont regret later in the future.

I agree I shouldnt have argued with my in laws. I know things are contradictory because I was taught about self respect in my maika which I couldnt get in my sasural which led to arguments. My in laws and my husband know me and my parents very well. We are middle class people. We wont take any kind of legal actions against them. My husband know me from 5 years. He know I wont take such a step in my dreams too. Advice which you gave me I had spoken with my husband in same wordings but he refused for the same. I tried convincing him a lot and still convincing him for this but he is stil refusing. I know gaining trust again is difficult and time taking but not impossible. I am sure I will gain their trust. Just that I want to get back over there and then I am sure I will make things work out good. I just want 1 chance for which I am requesting and pleading for my husband. I really dont want divorce sir. I really dont want. I will surely regret later if I take this decision of parting from him.

It seems all the talks are happening on phone only.... why?  Send some relatives or parents directly to your husband's home and initiate talks. Why don't you meet your husband directly somewhere else and talk with him face to face? Ask some elders to meet him and talk directly.

All things are done ma'am :( My parents were planning to go at his home and talk to his parents he didnt let them come there. My parents spoke to him he said i need time. I spoke to him face to face many  times even last weekend we met but still he not listening to me. what should i do?

here you have forgotten 

1. you have left the house --- now pleading your husband to take home -- go alone directly to your home do not inisist to talk again on phone 

2. on one fine day go to temple take blessings and alss take one week leave from office and be patient what every situation arises

3. but go when you husband is at home - i think you know when your husband is at home 

4. if they does not allow you stay outside (film type) but it works 

5. every thing goes well .....

Send some relatives or your parents at his home directly, Do not seek prior appointment or his permission on phone. Go to his home straight and talk.

@ adv. archana,

let me praise u. u r fantastic mind reader.

from the write-up, u guess the possibility. i have the same thinking but not sure about it.

like to add something in your suggestion :

make it a point of your presence bcoz u knw ur husband, in-laws and their relatives better than your relatives. so there are chances in your absence original problem take ugly shape in misunderstanding.

be careful. this is very sensitive situation. a slight mistake a simple move from either side would be seen from ugly angle.

best of luck in ur sincere endeavor and happy life.

Thank u.

When you came out alone, go back alone. Taking parents/relatives with you, or sending parents/relatives for mediation will only worsen the matter, as you have already tried it earlier.

If you have tried already, its better to be separate now as it is not so late you are at very young age becoz if some how they will accept and child will come & if there will no love between you & ur husband then the life will be worst & your child life will be in trouble becoz u will also try to take his/her custody & ur husband will also tri for the same. so its better to move ahead.

If you have not tried to patch up than things could have been different as u are saying that you have tried a lot bt things are not working then its better to move away and start a new life.

Regards