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Shattered Dreams (some desig)     17 August 2013

Severe domestic violence, please suggest.

Respected experts,

please help me with my following queries.

1) I had an arranged marriage through a leading matrimonial website. There was a quick engagement and then marriage within 2 months of engagement. The whole expense of engagement and wedding was borne by my parents. I have a PG degree and I was working then.

2) Post marriage I left my job and relocated to husband's place. In-laws were at native place and did not stay with us.However the communication between by husband and his family used to be the starting point of many arguements with him blaming me for not treating them right etc. I know how much respect and love I gave them before and initial days of marriage. However, i thoughtif I stay good and take good care of him and his family relation,things will be better.

3) My husband hardly gave me money for household expense and I was shy to ask money from him. I instead spent from whatever money I had of my own. This too I did not pay much attention to thinking that its just a phase and will pass. Instead he would ask me to get a job soon and pass comments that I am just eating and not earning anything. My in-laws have my jewellary but I do not have any proof that I have given it to them. My husband would often ask me to gift his expensive gifts though he himself never gifted me anything. During marriage his family was highly agitated till they got the gold from my family.

4) the real problem started with my husband's over reaction and anger over each and every small issue. This behaviour of his just escalated over time with severe violence every 5-6 days. He would hit me bad over any and every trivial issue. The violence made me and my mind numb. There was ofcourse a lot of emotionla abuse as well which made me very numb and unable to react to any situation.

5) After 6 months of severe mental and physical abuse I left my husband after submitting a police diary. The police did not lodge a police complaint and asked me to file one at my native so that I do not have to travel for police case all the time.

6) I have not filed any sort of case yet as I was mentally too disturbed to do anything. Neither him nor his parents have contacted me yet. I certainly don't want to go back to him and his family. He is not fit to be called humane. I don't have any proff except for a few photographs and a medical record (got it done as advised by the police).

Please suggest me what all things count as evidence in DV cases. Do I have to compulsarily go through the CAW. My parents spent their hard earned money for this wedding and I would certainly want it back or else family like his,they will continue to do this again and again with next family.

Looking forward to get expert opinions.



Learning

 13 Replies


(Guest)

Which is your native? When in-laws are not present at your matrimonial residence,

How come they could poison your husband to beat you severely? There is something you are missing

Shattered Dreams (some desig)     17 August 2013

1) I did not say that my in-laws poisoned the husband's mind to make him beat me. He hit me a lot many times and that is all that matters,not who instigated him. His behaviour shows his bringing up and the values instilled in him. Its also true that any/every phone call with his family would always result in him questioning and blaming me for small issues.

Secondly, I thought this forum is for legal advice,instead why is that all queries from women/womens perspective are always seen as fake/false 498A queries. 

Mt Stalker,thank you for you comments because maybe just maybe I will have to answer similar queries at the court,thanks for giving me practice of how to handle questions from sensitive jerks!!

Adv. Chandrasekhar (Advocate)     17 August 2013

For filing Domestic Violence case, you need not approach CAW cell and you can directly file the case before MM Court.  In this case, you recover the Stri Dhan and compensation for domestic violence and also maintenance in specific case and residential rights if you want to go over there at matrimonial home and also consequently protection rights.

Nadeem Qureshi (Advocate/ nadeemqureshi1@gmail.com)     17 August 2013

what do you want? the money back from them as your parents spend on the wedding.

do you want to teach them a lesson?

or you want to save your marriage?

Shattered Dreams (some desig)     17 August 2013

I just want to get out of this unfortunate marriage and concentrate on my life and career that I put on hold for marriage. 

I tried my best to make it work but this seems to be case of cheating as well as some mental disorder and at-times even infidelity (eve when we were together he was very much in touch with his ex-gf/live in patner) The more I think,more confusing it becomes. I wish there some sure-shot way to let them know how it to hurt a women for no fault of hers. However I know people like him will never get better,so not attempting that. Want to get back the money we spent on wedding and my losses because of break in work. He did hit and specifically tried to hurt my fingers/hands,but then I have no proof of that other than my statements. Another thing is that I know he and his famliy are big liers and capable of twisting anything and everything in their own favour. On the other hand I would not like to make it a dirty fight.


(Guest)

@ Shattered lady,

 

I feel you are a genuine lady on this forum who had accepted as teaching a lesson to a person who can't become better is useless. Even you have written that you want to concentrate on your life and career rather than wandering 10 years around court to teach a lesson to your husband. I feel very proud of your thinking and the way you have approached the query.

Because on this forum there are so many women who only needs revenge against husband and want to extract money as much she can even their husband would not be at guilty.

 

So,First time I have heard a sincere and valuable thinking from lady side who need genuine feedback and relief so that she could think ahead of better life.

 

Mam following things you can do:

 

1. Collect whatever evidences you have against your husband.(like MLC,any recordings, snaps,mails,letters etc.)

 

2. File a FIR of physical and mental harassment  by your husband in your nearest PS. Then through that fir No. file a divorce case against your husband on ground of mental cruelity through 13 i a HMA

 

3. File 406 for your return of streedhan against your husband.

 

4. File 125 crpc for maintenance if you are unable to maintain yourself.

 

Note:- The expenses of marriage is not counted under streedhan, it can't be claimed further by both side.Once whatever expenses incurred on marriage can't be asked from each other through any court.

 


(Guest)

Agree with NGKOC..file for dv ..right now don't be the first one to go for divorce .


(Guest)

Dear Querist: Do not take any legal step. Talk with husband. Ask him if he wants you in his life or not. If he does not want you in his life, then ask him to file for divorce or tell that you will file DV case against him and his family. Let the case move like this. If you file DV case, even if he has beaten you to pulp and if there is no evidence, it will be a waste of time fighting for your rights etc. along with that you will be blacklisted in matrimony market.  Another thing which might go against you is, if you are not able to prove dometice violence in court, then your husbnd can file a prejury case for lying under oath and filing false affidavit, both of which can attract 50k fine and 5 years imprisonment.


So, let husband make the first move, legally.

stanley (Freedom)     19 August 2013

@ Author

There is no law as such where in engangement and wedding expenses can be recovered .

 

As you have a post Graduate Degree and you were working earlier  hence look out for a Job and try to get independent and lead your life . 

 

Rather than spending 5-7 years in court cases and no children and wasting your time and money better settle for Mutual consent consent Divorce and recover your stridan ,MCD  gets over within a period of 6 months and you can move ahead with life and Re-marry . Since as years go by in court cases youth is lost and wrinkles will come up .

 

What suprises me with this post is the author of this post has clearly stated that she does not want to go back to her husband but our dear friend Adv  Chandu wants her to file a DV case and later on would also state that it is difficult to prove domestic violence inside four walls of the bedroom ??. Whats the use of a protection order when she no longer wants to stay with him ;)

1 Like

CPU (Engineer)     07 September 2013

Dear Sir / Madam,

 

presently i m suffering from domestic violence from my husband very badly. i hv few questions:

1)   fr seeking divorce under domestic violence, is police complaint compulsory ?

2)   can i register police complaint after 10 days of the incidence ?

3)   if i hv photographs of his beating, can it be evidence fr divorce ?

 

plz reply as early as psbl

fighting back (exec)     07 September 2013

reporting after 10 days of beating?? and what held you back for the last nine days? seems to be a well planned afterthought of the incident. whenever  an incident happens, it is logical and natural for a person to get frightened and panicked and in a few hours after he or she reconciles herself, she reports the matter to the nearest police station. this is a natural human logic to report an incident after it has happened, maybe a couple or hours or at the maximum 24 hours, but after nine days?? on the 10th day you suddenly realize you were beaten to pulp on the first day? dont you think this smells fishy? and why do you think a police complaint is not necessary for a DV case? pls give a reason,. even we would like to know. how can there be photographs? there can be a video. but how can there be a photograph with he beating you to pulp. photograph is a still image. on still photo camera, you need a slow motion camera to click a beating!!!:P

1 Like

CPU (Engineer)     07 September 2013

Dear Fighting back,

frm tht incidence, i m staying wid my parents. as i m having 4 yrs daughtr, they r pressurizing me nt 2 go legally. bt fr me its nt psbl 2 stay wid my husband as he is getting more n more cruel. n i hv taken photographs in my mobile of d wounds he made. i wish 2 make it clear tht i want merely divorce n custody of my daughtr, and nt his money

stanley (Freedom)     09 September 2013

@ CPU ( Central processing unit )

Can a PC function without a CPU hence similary can a DV case hold good without a medical report accompained by a FIR is a question which you have to answer. Evidence has to be proved .

Speak out to your husband and ask for the same rather than making demands and in case your daughter would be granted visiting rights to your husband .


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