Advice required

Hi All,

I have got married in July, 2012. Ours is an arranged marriage.Since Marriage, My Husband and MIL ill-treated me(Abusing me as not equally educated(though an Under Graduate,not well earned, not beautiful and finally not from a rich family).I have a 6 months old Baby Boy now.

My MIL was so possessive over my husband that she does not let us stay alone in a different city where we live. She wants her son to visit her every week and was on call with him throughout the day and even during nights intruding in our privacy.

On the other hand, my husband is so greedy in terms of money that he wants me to get money from my parents. He and  his parents also demands all the money which I get as salary  every month which i was giving him when i was with him .He has not spent even a penny for me or my child during pregnancy or even now.

Also he and his parents are foul mouthed and had been cursing my parents of not giving enough money whenever he requires. My MIL has went to such an extent of cursing my unborn baby during a verbal conflict .

Now since the delivery of My 6 months old Baby he has deserted me by creating an argument and quarrel in the maternity hospital. Now I am staying at my parental home since am working in this city. Since then he has no intention of taking me back to his home in spite of involving all ours and his relatives for resolving this dispute.

Now he has left his job and went back to his home town and when asked over called he is saying that I am not ready to live with you and asking me to send a divorce notice that he wants to get out of this relationship.

He is NOT ready to take responsibility as a father of the child as well as to save our marriage for the sake of the child

Can I go ahead and lodge a complaint on him,or whether RCR would be helpful?. I do not have a intention of getting a divorce for the sake of my baby.

Seeking your kind advice

Thanx in Advance

Dear querist,

Following are the best remedy in your case if you still want to waste your youth and uncertain conjugal life on a person who is good for nothing:

1. File RCR and pray to court that you still want to cohabit with her (But no gurantee that he may join you as this step is only formality to ask court to plz instruct my husband to join me but this is not binding to him)

2. File 498A , DVA On him and his family and make them harass but remind you are also going to be a part of this harassment till the case is not over.

The best remedy if you really want to enjoy your only 1 life which is very precious and that with not mercy of your current husband:

1. File for divorce on the ground of mental cruelity.

2. File 125 crpc for your child and for you if you are not earning,but here I can assume according to your statement that you are working lady.

3. Try to resolve the issue amicably and part away peacefully by genuine settlement.

4. Take the custody of your child and fulfil his/her dream and give a good life to your child.

5. Always see the world with an optimistic eyes.Where your husband is not only a single man left in this world to whom you need a shoulder to cry or you need a companion.

6. Emerge as a budding lady with your own confidence and live your life with your happiness and not with others happiness.

7. And believe me the day when you will find that anxiousness for your husband is no more prevailing and you are an independent lady who can achieve much more for her and her child than what your early marriage was stopping.........you would certainly remember my words.

8. A forced relationship for just sake of society is worst than a paralysed Human who is always on the mercy of his care taker.

Thanks & regards

@Aazad Sufferer Thanks for your valuable comments.

Regarding the custody of child as posted by you

2. File 125 crpc for your child and for you if you are not earning,but here I can assume according to your statement that you are working lady. -  "He wants to take care of the child or desert me from my child. Let me know the possibility and the current law for the custody of child"

 Also I would like to know whether can I travel without applying for a divorce outside the country on employment basis?

file a petition for restitution of conjugal right. Once the husband is served with the notice get the matter referred for mediation.In the forum you can sort out your differences and reach some conclusion. Instead  of spending tiome money and energy on multiple litigation try to resolve the issue .May be the two of you will get togather for the sake of the child. 

 "He wants to take care of the child or desert me from my child. Let me know the possibility and the current law for the custody of child"

Opinion: Possibility for former question can't be known by me as you are the best person to know whether he wants to desert the child or to take care of his child.

For custody of child you have to file Guardian and wardship act .Your claim for child is very prominent in the current scenario due to his bad behaviour and addictions.Generally custody of child till 5 years of his/her age goes to mother.After that who is best care taker of child could easily claim the custody.In your case you have a fit case to show that your child would be well grown in your custody till his/her 18 years of age.

Also I would like to know whether can I travel without applying for a divorce outside the country on employment basis?

Opinion: Yes you have your fundamental rights to go anywhere and to join any proffession . There is no legal boundation before divorce or after divorce.As divorce is not a criminal procedure that you have some sort of formalities before you check out your country.

thanks & regards

I remember you saying that he did not come to take you back after delivery of the child, did you ever try to contact him and asked him to take you back, or whether your parents never tried to take you and the child to his home after delivery?  You have all the rights to go back to his house after delivery of the child, why do you wait for him to take you there?, if your attempts failed, you may issue a lawyer's notice asking him to take you both with him and then seek the court's intervention, as advised by Anuradha Dixit, do not go for multiple litigation which is wastage of time, money and energy and also which may prove to be a debacle in the passage of time breaking the marriage irretrievably. Always think about the ways to save the marriage instead of paying heed to brain washing advises by unscrupulous people around you. 

unscrupulous people always give advices to please the society to fulffil their pockets and greedy lawyers are the best example for this..

Those who says that initiative to save the marriage must see the query and judge the other part of the querist as her husband is hell bent not to live with her.

If Mr. Kalaiselvan can write his statement as the querist should have to save her marriage at first instance then I bet that he had again missed out reading of full query here.....

for the sake of society but not for the happiness of two creatures isn't it?

I ask him could he suggest how to win the heart of a husband and make him a decent husband who will love his wife without any complains and it will be taken as granted that he will again not create such mishappening in future?

Dear lawyers read my reply as I have suggested only two cases i.e universal truth for her against her dead marriage and that is Divorce and second one is 125 crpc for her child and that is only because with 125 crpc she will easily get relief at fast speed rather than other maintenance cases due to criminal procedure.

So, mr. Kalaiselvan don't misjudge in reading of queries and pointing any body with unscrupulous advices anymore for just creating a formalities rather than a practical and natural advices.

As in this case Husband will not change and he is not bothered to live with her,if she forces also then it will end up with temporary solution and she will loss her age and time without any suffice as atlast she will again go for divorce only..So,it's wiser to part away amicably or through contested divorce now itself.

No court or No justice can bind two creatures without their will,so it simply waste of time and money if one partner is reluctant to live with other.

@ T. Kalai Selvan

After the birth of the child, he visited my parental home some 5 or 6 times, but he is not ready to find a rented home here in the city where he was working.

Also now he has left his job and living at the expense of MIL. Even my matrimonial home belongs to my MIL. With this conditions and considering my workplace how can I go stay with him when he is ready to take responsibility. Resigning my job will not serve coz he is already jobless. 

With this conditions and considering my workplace how can I go stay with him when he is  NOT ready to take responsibility. Resigning my job will not serve coz he is already jobless.