Hi, I am Sundar from Karur, Tamilnadu... I am in a situation where I am having trouble with my ex girlfriend.
We met around 2 years ago in the United States in Charlotte, NC in United States of America. During our onsite assignment. We met and got close together. We have been very close to each other and we both proposed to each other. We were in a relationship and things went well. However we had our share of fights and I even broke up with her 3 or 4 times during my stay of 1 year there. However, we did get back to each other again. During our stay, we spoke about our marriage and we decided that we will talk to our parents and get their approval. We both knew that both of our families are extremely orthodox and wouldn't allow so easily for a inter-caste marriage. During my stay there, we got close physically and fooled around 5 or 6 times. We both were consensual and had physical fun. She has performed oral s*x on me. However, I never performed oral s*x on her. There was never s*xual intercourse between us.
I came back to India ahead of her, telling her that I will talk to my parents and initiate our marriage process. I started talking to my family and wanted to start marriage process. However, my mother's and father's health deteriorated badly and both suffered from Heart problems. I tried to convince my parents and it did not go well and proved to cause more health problems due to this tension and problems. My mom's heart weakened due this issue and she fell into heart attack 3 times. My father also suffered from heart issues and my family's health condition drastically reduced to hospitalization of both my parents. Considering all this, I decided to drop my love affair instead of fighting against my parents and feared I may cause more damage to their health and lives.
I decided to explain this to my girl friend and wanted her to go ahead with her life. I did it one day and informed her that I can no longer be with her in life and am going to take care of my parents. I told her that we have to end our relationship here and asked her to carry on with her life, while I went back to my parents and started spending more time with them, as they needed my care and time badly in their worse health conditions. She did agree and stopped talking to me. We both did not have contact for 2 months. In this period, due to my parent's compulsion and their health condition, they set up arranged marriage with one of our own caste families. I did agree for my parents health conditions though I wasn't interested initially.
Over time, I did get along with my fiancé in this arranged marriage and slowly lost my love for my ex girlfriend. I did explain my previous relationship to my fiance and she did understand and agree to marry me. However, I could not get over my guilty feeling for leaving my ex-girlfriend after all our love and relationship. So, after around 2 months of my engagement, I called up my ex girlfriend told her that I am sorry about all that happened and asked for forgiveness to reduce my guilty feeling. But after that call, my girlfriend started getting back at me ( after 3 months of no talking). Then she has started trying to get back at me, while I am here engaged to another girl.
The problem started there. My ex girlfriend started contacting me often and tried to get back at me. I told her that we can no longer get back with each other and I am now engaged and going to get married. Learning all this, she became furious and started getting angry and revengeful on me. First she tried calmly, she then cried and now she is all madly angry. I tried to explain more and more - reminding her of my family's health condition, and that we split 3 months ago and I moved on. She says she never thought I would forget her and thought I would come back for her and has been waiting. She blames me now that I left her for another good girl. She blames me that I used her for my physical pleasures. Slowly she got more and more angry and started threatening me - that I cannot leave her and have to marry her, that I have to stop my arranged marriage. I have been trying to convince her for the past 2 months and she is not understanding. It has been six months we broke up now. I also sent 2 emails to her father's email id, explaining that we split up 6 months ago, we did not have any contact for 3 months and I can no longer get back with her.
Now here is the situation - My marriage is due in 3 months and my ex girlfriend is threatening me everyday - to tell my parents of our physical relationship that we had. She is contacting my fiancé and troubling her with limitless arguments to win me back. She also contacted my mom and tried to get me back. Now, she is threatening to
- to tell about our physical relationship to my parents and my fiance to stop my marriage. she says she has medical proof that I had s*x with her.
- is trying to send our past emails, photos, videos to my parents, fiance
- calling me, my fiance and causing mental stress for us everyday.
I really can't let anything happen to my marriage because now it is in a matured stage and any problem in my marriage would badly affect my fiancé's life, Second, I am no longer in love with my ex girlfriend and I can't live with her as I have moved on with my fiance. Above all, stopping this marriage would put my parents in a complete social insult which they cannot bear with their health conditions (may even kill my mom as she already had 3 heart attacks). I would like to know what legal options she has and what legal options I have?
- We did not have intercourse at all. She has performed orally on me, while I did not perform any oral s*x on her. However, she has told me that she has medical proof that I had physical contact with her. Is that possible? What proof she can bring against me to show that I had s*x with her?
- to publicize our s*xual relationship we had and spoil my image.
- to legally file a case against me for cheating her. I did not cheat her as I broke up with her and then only moved on to get married. Can she file any case against me like that or on any other basis? like rape or etc. as an actual s*xual intercourse never happened and all our physical experiences were with mutual consent.
- What options I have against her - both offensive and defensive? Can I file a case against her for harassing and defaming me - for trying to send my past photos, videos to my fiance or friends?
Thanks, Sundar.
