First strike

this is a myth.

What do you mean 'This is a myth'.  So there is no difference between them filing cases first or they retliating for our legal notice/RCR.....

no difference.

cases are decided on merits and not first come first basis

Then why every lawyer argues as 'We can always argue as retaliation and  case would be in our favour if we take the first action....

for the sake of Arguments, it sounds nice.

if u want to frustrate the judge by FUTILE arguments, it will harm ur own case.

Agree with Amit 100%.  This retaliation argument is more a psychological play on the Judge. It has no basis in law.  

As for advocates, 95% of them are IDIOTS. 85% are crooks. 1% are good. 1% are not advocates at all (fake degree, etc.). The percentages do not add up because these are not mutually exclusive qualities. You can learn enough about how to litigate your case by reading on the applicable law on the Internet and use an advocate only for procedural issues where experience counts, unless you want to master the C.P.C. or Cr.P.C.  Follow your advocate's advise but only after you have done your own research. Trust but verify... Never sign on any paper thrust before you at the last minute by your advocate. Read carefully at least a day in advance before you put your signature on it. If there is something that you do not agree to, or there is something missing which ought to be there, do not sign. 

Good Luck!

Thats true.I had done enough research  myself and dont want to blindly trust lawyers hence want to get some experts opinion.Right now we had some serious threats from the inlaws side for DV and 498a as we failed to succumb to their pressure or agree to their unreasonable demands from them.The girl deserted almost 4 months back and we have lot of mails going back and forth and when they realised that we would not succumb to their pressure they are doing the much expected step that the girls parents do these days.They threaten us saying they can use the law to their favour with false cases.Lawyers suggested that it is not easy these days to arrest both in DV and 498a as they would call for counselling couple of times.But we are expected the unexpected and wants to be prepared and safeguard ourselves but never bend down to their threats...The Girls parents often fail to realise that we could now go to the state of 'No return' of normal relationship when they use all these diversion tactics and misusing laws to their favour.......

Decide for sure that you want a divorce.

Then, you have two options (unless the new law becomes final but thats another beast): Desertion or cruelty.

Desertion is the best option because it is easy to prove. Cruelty is difficult to prove, especially against a woman. However, the filing of 498 and DV cases by her will help you as these can be grounds for cruelty against you, if you prevail in them and prove that they were filed frivolously. Retain all evidence of threats.

So... keep trying to write to her to come back, legal notice, etc. not for a first-strike advantage but to get evidentiary trail that you were always trying to get her back and she has deserted you.

Pray that she files DV and 498a cases!  -:) Win!!

Let two years pass by for your separation. Then file divorce based upon desertion.

In the mean time, or later, when DV and 498a goes against her, amend the divorce petition to seek divorce on cruelty also.

PLAN, STRATEGIZE AND WORK TOWARDS THEM WITH THE END-GOAL IN MIND. DO NOT DISCLOSE YOUR STRATEGY WITH ADVOCATES. JUST MAKE SURE THAT STEPS ARE TAKEN IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION.

If you win on desertion by her or cruelty by her as basis for divorce, it will be difficult for her to qualify for maintenance. 

My advice is based on the assumption that your wife is at fault here.

GOOD LUCK!