Jas Somal (Not Applicable) 07 March 2013

Forced marriage

Hi All,

I badly need advise and help on the matter below. Please excuse me if it’s too detailed but I am really stressed so want everyone to understand the whole picture easily.

I am 29 years old Jatt Sikh boy who migrated to Canada in 2008 on permanent immigrant basis. After 4 years I went back in Nov 2012 to India for a vacation and also to look for a girl for marriage purposes. My family was helping me in finding a suitable match and after 3 weeks a girl was purposed. Everybody in the family including me liked the girl and we wanted to go a step ahead in this relation. When families met we were told girl is a graduate and it’s a middle class family and as I was living in Canada so I was told that girl can’t speak English like us but she can talk and understand very well.

As everything seemed well, I gave my consent for the relation to go ahead. It was my last week in India when all this was happening and both families agreed for a ring ceremony just one day prior to my departure. Ring ceremony took place at girls place and was attended by 30-40 people including my family and there's. Pictures were taken and everything was done as per Sikh rituals.

Later when I came back to Canada the very first day we came to know that the house they took us was not there own but some relatives. Which was not a big deal but then i asked girl if there are things she want to share with me. She told me about her family and also confirmed that she has graduated with 60% of marks. When I asked about documents she gave me most of the documents leaving the 3rd year DMC. When I asked she gave me different reasons of not having it. In actual she had double compartment one in April 2012 and then in Sept 2012 which she kept on hiding from me. In the course of time we had our conversations and I came to know that girls English was equal to a student of grade 3 or 4. She didn’t even know meaning of words like 'Dentist' and accessories. Because of all these my bonding and attachment started decreasing on very fast pace and as I knew its going to be very tough for me to keep this relation after marriage I called it off.

I tried to explain this to the girl and at a point she understood but then I think once she told her family she started acting differently.

PROBLEM: Now her family is not willing to call this relation off and is forcing me to marry her. They are mentally putting pressure that we won’t let this go and girl is saying she will do something to her. In her family words “I should marry once even though girl dies after 1 year, we don’t care". They are coming up with all kind of lies to force me and my family to go ahead with this marriage and also threatening for legal action.

So can someone please advise what should or can be done in such scenario where engagement happened and then I left after 1 day and now when after 2 months I don’t want to proceed with marriage I am being forced to do so.

I will be so grateful to all the experts who can share there piece of knowledge and expertise on this.

Thanks

Jas Somal

Reply Follow

9 Replies

(Guest)

Paaji ek kahawat he sau jhoot bolke ek shaadi karo.

Shaadi toh mano ka mel he.

Maana ki education bahut mayne rakhti he aaj ke time pe.

Par socho, kudi pasand he, bas angrejji nahi aati. Try karo paaji.

All the best!

Rajeev Kumar (Lawyer/Advocate) 07 March 2013

If you are not willing to marry her then you should call off the marriage and if they still insist then file a case against them for criminal intimidation and criminal breach of trust. The marriage without the consent of both parties and by coercion, undue influence, misrepresantation or by fraud is voidable.

Anil Agrawal (Retired) 07 March 2013

Let the girl DO SOMETHING TO HER.

Ranee....... (NA) 07 March 2013

don't marry.Liars should not be forgiven.

Jas Somal (Not Applicable) 07 March 2013

@ Helping Hand- Bhaji i agree that i liked the girl initially but its not only the matter of education, its matter of trust as well. within first month she has told me lies like 3-4 times. How can we trust nothing big will come up later. What if they are planning to just let the girl reach Canada and then start problems. Its matter of lifetime i am not just dating. My attachment with her instead of increasing kept on decreasing till it reached minimum level.

@Rajeev Kumar - Thanks, i hope some experts will read this and advise me.

@Anil - No one wants any such thing to happen but they are misusing this.

Sudhir Kumar, Advocate (Advocate) 08 March 2013

You are not getting off easily. People stoop down to any level in order to have NRI match for son or daughter.

Tajobsindia (Senior Partner ) 09 March 2013

Legal views since you repeatedly sent PM to me and are not satisfied with good replies already here, for the same here is a wake up call;

1. If you refuse to go ahead with the marriage then no law of the land may enforce you for marrying that girl or any dowry related case can not be filed against you since it relates to situations after marriage and not before that.

2. If still some doubt exists in your mind then you may consult a local advocate in your home town area and obtain anticipatory bail (your presence not required for the same) though I still feel it would not be necessary as the girl’s parents would definitely be more worried about their daughter’s and their own reputation then anything else.

Now allow me to ask one behind the Chamber curiosity kills the cat (client J) question:-

Que.: Were you fluent in Canadian English when you migrated to Canada or were your folks were? Did you pass out with Distinction in Exams or were your folks did?

If yes then it is a miracle background history check for all my 2^nd. generation Punjabi friends who are right now in Toronto or Vancouver or BC and if no then accept this girl with 3^rd. – 5^th. grade English and compartmental BDS as I feel no point wasting your Canadian PR status getting India Visa stamped again and again to attend courts here as Punjab is very famous for "holiday brides" cases just like your story of errors committed on a holiday and for the same refer to some of my earlier postings on this subject and note now Special Cell is in place in Punjab to revoke even Passports of Punjabi NRI’s / dual citizens on complaints of girl's side.