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anuragi   31 May 2015

Harassment by husband

Hi All,

I am from Bangalore and I got married about a year ago, and we ve stayed together only for about 4 months, 3 months at my moms place and one month in a seperate house. 

As this was a matrimonial match, we couldnt do a complete background check as they hurried the marriage to be done in 1 month. They guy dint give me mangalsutra, saree or any basic things that are expected in marriage, in turn they had forced us to give dowry and a very grand wedding for which we had to sell our property.

After marriage, he stayed 3 months at my moms place to save rent. He had asked me to for divorce thrice in 3 months. He would also force me to sleep with him irrespective of my condition. After moving to a small rented house, he dint spend even a single paisa for house maintenance. I would give the rent, get groceries, cook breakfast, lunch, wash clothes, maintain the house and also goto office. After all this I had to face his daily abuse, ridicule, demand for money, humiliation, etc. He would make up connections between all the ppl i talk to, be it a shoppkeeper, vegetable vendor, or my friends. I stopped talking to many of my friends after that. He also forbid me from talking to my parents. He would take away my mobile. I was left with no money except my credit card.

He would force me to goto church ( we both are hindus, he wants to goto church as they ll help him goto US) and take me to the pastors there. His female friend shifted to Hyderabad and he started forcing me to shift to Hyderabad with him. Then his mom dad bro and grandma everyone shifted to the same small house and I had to serve them all apart from my work, again to be abused by all of them. Even after that they used to demand that my dad should send him to US for higher studies and I should not accompany him. His mom and dad dont live together, so she couldnt bear me staying with him. She sent me out of the house immediately in 15 days. No one came to take me back. After two months his cousin came n took me to my husbands home. After which his torture had increased more. I had got sleeping pills to commit suicide. My sister came and took me home in time. 

Now he has run away with all my stuff and dowry we had given. He is not telling his address. He has also left his job and vacated from Bangalore. He has messaged me that he wont give me divorce. 15-20 people have come to our home and threatened us not to put a case against him and to go and stay with him, without any contact with my parents or friends. When asked to return my stuff, they said after marriage its his stuff, why should he return it to you. His aim in life seems to be to extract all he can from us and torture me till I die. 

Please help me on what should I do in such cases. Police dont want to accept the dowry complaint and also dont take it as robbery since he is my husband. I do not have proof of him having affair with the hyderabad lady nor his abuse. I just want to live a peaceful life. How do I resolve this problem.



Learning

 17 Replies

FREDYCHARLES RK - Bangalore (Advocate)     31 May 2015

Hi Anuragi, 

In case you need help please call me at 9886627403. Well, going through your detailed note,one can understand the pain and frustration you are in . Well since you are under Special marraige act and your husband is a Christian, the best way would be to approch his Church Pastor and see ways to resolve amicably as much as possible before a legal recourse. I think by your nature, you just need peace, tranquility and leave me alone personality. Am not sure what category of personality your husband  belongs too and again you had mentioned their parents are seperated, so give one more chance and if that doesnt workg then seek for sanity and divorce

anuragi   31 May 2015

Hi,

 

Im sorry for providing incomplete information. I have modified the post now. Husband is not christian. As far as I understand, they ll help him to send to US if he converts. I do not have proof of MIL and FIL being seperated, but the neighbours in their village can answer if there is any enquiry, since she stays at her sisters home and leaves husband in the native. 

saravanan s (legal advisor)     31 May 2015

( we both are hindus, he wants to goto church as they ll help him goto US) since you both are hindus your marriage doesnt come under special marriage act and comes under hindu marriage act.  take help from a family councellor regarding your problems.if its not working you can file petition on grounds of cruelty.you can also file a case of 498a ipc against his family members

whatever sreedhan thats given to you will be considered to be part of your self earned property and you can file sec 406 ipc for sreedhan recovery.if local police is not taking up your complaint file a complaint with the acp or dcp or alternatively you can also file private complaint with the magistrate

1 Like

SAINATH DEVALLA (LEGAL CONSULTANT)     31 May 2015

MR Charles,both are Hindus. The best possible way is to file a private complaint in the court as the police are not responding positively.Hardly 4 months of marital life and turbulance in life.Once the alliance was fixed through a matrimonial site proper investigation should have been done regarding the family.

I feel whatever he has done,he has done with a stable frame of mind and does not require any psychiatric treatment.(His girlfriend episode reveals it)

The foremost thing is to trace his whereabouts.I also don't think even mediation or counselling would bring about a change in him.

Hence file a private complaint.Desertion by husband does not arise as UR marriage is just 1 yr old.

anuragi   31 May 2015

@saravanan.s : thank you, I will ask the police to register the case under 406. Atlease if not damages, i can have all the dowry back. Hopefully they wont penalise us for giving dowry.(Googled and found that they penalise the givers too.)

Since he has resigned his job here, i think it might be because he wants to fly to US. How do i track him if he leaves?

anuragi   31 May 2015

@SAINATH DEVALLA : m not sure i understand what is a private complaint in court. On googling, i found court will investigate the matter like police?

Also, is there anyway to know if he marries again? Since he is from different state, are there any ways to keep track if he remarries?

Shantanu Wavhal (Worker)     31 May 2015

1. private complaint u/s IPC 498a, 406 - to recover your belongings.

2. divorce petition - to get divorce.

3. DV act application - to get other civil remedies and protection

4. HAMA 18 - 

 

here u admit that u have given dowry - so u r also culprit.

 

always ... better late, than never !!

 

anuragi   31 May 2015

@Amit ---------------: Im living with my parents since dec 2014. i have tried to contact his relatives last month to know his whereabouts and even settle for mutual divorce. They conveyed to him and replied to me saying he still wants to stay with me so he wont sign the divorce. Police fail to register dowry act since now apparently its mandatory to attend counselling before lodging a complaint. Is this true?

Also, how do we prove mental torture in a marriage?

SAINATH DEVALLA (LEGAL CONSULTANT)     31 May 2015

Mam,

If U desire the correct solution don't contradict the opinions.We appraise U of the best available options to solve UR problem.By UR replies I come to know that U too are well versed in law and sections.

anuragi   31 May 2015

Hi Sir, M sorry if it was offensive, but i dint mean to contradict opinions. I want to know the best way so that im out of the trouble soon. N also such a man should deserve the punishment for what he has done to me and my family. 

He is saying he wants to live with me on records like whatsapp and phone calls. But he doesnt provide me the address nor show any kind of action which means he is also preparing for the divorce very cleverly. I do not understand why would he want me to go for contested against him wen mutual is so favorable for him. 

Since he is not telling his whereabouts, i wont know if he has remarried also and only troubling me by not agreeing for mutual divorce.

SAINATH DEVALLA (LEGAL CONSULTANT)     31 May 2015

Mam,

Remarriage by him will surface in the future even if UR not able to confirm it today.Hence don't act in a hasty manner as it could lead to more troubles.

anuragi   31 May 2015

Ok sir. He is also claiming that he is left the job and doesnt work anymore. Is there any case where wife has given alimony in India?

saravanan s (legal advisor)     31 May 2015

giving dowry from the bride side is not an offence and you wont be punished for that.dont worry.they are protected be dowry prohibition act

saravanan s (legal advisor)     31 May 2015

court granting maientenance to husband is very very rare


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