Kindly help - Shall wait or go for legal notice and RCR asap?

@ Jeevan

I have already suggested you that you can deny her entering into your home. you should have let them take a legal step afterwards.  Now the case will now become more complex. Even if you have raised hand in protest, this can be converted into Domestic Violence.

Well, Still I suggest don’t accept her, Let them do whatever they wants. Waiting for just 2 months is not just enough. 

She is violent in nature. Don’t ever think that this marriage will ever be a happy marriage. Just Prepare yourself to face consequences.

Leave it up to FATE. Just give fight when they take legal step.

Thank you so much. 

She wants control as I see. Along with her mother. She wants her mother to run my house. 

 - She does not to go to my parent's house or does not want anyone from my house to come here

 - She does not want to spend a single penny (she said she will take care of her parents with the money)

If the above things do not happen, she wants to stay with her mother or on her own. But, do not want to give any divorce. 

Now she is not taking any call. 

Please note that every time I talk of a mutual divorce, she will cry (drama) and then with crying eyes will let yes. I was used to melt down. Now after this incident I am very clear now. 

This is what I am thinking. 

 - I want to have the divorce. But after thinking calmly, I realize she may file 498a (which we all know is long, evil and stupid). I want her to make agree for a mutual divorce. This is where she is running away from though saying multiple times in front of police she wants it. 

But keeping calm on such matters, will only encourage her. She ONLY understands ONE LANGUAGE, FEAR and LEGAL ACTION. Other than that she has no respect for anything. 

 -  If she wants to keep the child, be it. I am fine with it. If she can not, I'll take care of him (it is a remote chance as she has constantly told the baby is missed by her parents)

What should I do?

 - Apply for an anticipatory bail and then file for divorce  -or -

 - Wait for a month and see how the situation goes and then take action -or- 

 - Directly go for divorce and ask for the custody of the child (i know she most probably will get it, but it will help in a good bargain) -or-

- File for an anticipatory bail and then go with the help of police to her place (i do not want any fight, but her mother brings the worst from any people some times by abusing) and make her understand for a mutual divorce. I do not know if police presence will intimidate her. She thinks police are nothing (as she is very immatured and has no idea of law) - or -

The most irritating thing here is no communication. Her parents and she do not take any calls and if anyone goes to the house they misbehave. They refuse to take any calls from their own relatives also. 

Basically I want to play it safe (as I respect my job, my life and my parent's life) and want to do it peacefully. 

How to proceed (as they do not want to have any form of communication) which will put some fear in her and let her know that the divorce case is now a 100% possibility without tempting her to do anything wrong?

I want to get rid of her as soon as possible (I'll most probably lose the baby boy, but have to bear it) and want to live my life. 

If you cann't wait until they take legal step....

I would suggest Apply for Anticipatory Bail and go for Divorce. By looking into your case, There are chances that you will get divorce in your favour. There are chaces that they become ready to go for MCD. Hire some Senior Lawyer who can fight and present the case very well.

Dont think of Child Custody at the moment. 

I am at the same situation like you But I decided to wait. I have accepted it as my luck.

There is no point in repeating oneself.

Regards,

Shonee Kapoor

harassed.by.498a@gmail.com

Dear all,

Thank you so much for your advices.

Could you please inform:

Under what ground will it be advisable to take Anticipatory Bail.

When the complaint is filed you can apply for AB.

Grounds are:
 

1. You are innocent

2. You wish to stand trial

3. You are not running from the processes of law

4. No purpose would be served by detaining you behind bars.

Rest stories lawyers make are futile.

I waited for over a month instead of taking the legal route. These have the development in last 1 month. 

- She has not filed any complaint in the police station and I confirmed on it from 2 lawyers. 

- She is staying in Bangalore for last 15 days, whereabouts are not known yet

- She is coming to her office regularly (as I confirmed from other sources)

- She is saying to others (i confirmed from other sources) that I am not in India now and hence she is staying in Bangalore and she wants to shift to 

- The child is in Bhubaneswar (2000 km from Bangalore) and the mother has left the child since last 15 days

- Her father is coming to his office and her mother is still suspended

They are not taking any calls, not answering to anyone, neither are agreeing to any kind of talk. This was expected. 

She has threatend me in front of police before leaving the house (The police forced me, but could not make me go with thm. As we all know how corrupt the police is and ). I remained silent as whatever happens, I do not want to create a problem for the child. 

Now the child is almost 1 year and I want to take the child with me. I want to take him as staying with them will be very bad influence (she has accepted in writing for taking alochol, forgery, cheating with employers and lying now about me). And I want to take that responsibility for life. And as long as he stays with her parents, they will create every possible situation to stop me seeing him. 

She is not staying with the child as the child is in Bhubaneswar. And she is working from Bangalore. Her side is clear:

-  She does not want a divorce and wants to live on her own (with so called so many brothers)

-  She wants to child to be with her parents and does not want to take any responsibility of the child

- She does not want to stay with me, neither do I want that now. I want a mutual divorce, which she is avoiding. 

- Her staying with me comes with conditions of cutting off all my relationships, my friends and life, which is impossible. 

I want to know if taking the child with the help of some people (and paying off police to come along) with me from her parents (and she is not there with the child):

 - Will it create any legal problem?

 - Can she say I have kidnapped the child ?

 - Any other complications and precautions I need to take before proceeding

I am taking it as calmly as possible as she is  unpredictable, impuslive, sometimes violent and at the same time cries as and when needed to call the police or create problems. I want the child and let her take divorce whenever she wants. In fact, she has no need now as she neither cares for me or for the child. And it will take considering her dramas, but I do not want to miss seeing the child.  

Thank you again for your kind help and suggestions. 

Regards,

Jeevan Aggarwal

@ Jeevan

( I am impressed with your jassosi giri- how did you manage to obtain intelligence across the country ? ) 

1. So far, it appears that you have handled the situation well and not indulged in anything nasty that may bite you.

2. She is working in Bangalore and living with "brothers". Mother has abandoned a one year old child. If you both were in the US, you both would be behind bars and the child would have become government property. 

3. Your intent to obtain physical and legal custody of the child in the best interest of the child shows that you are the responsible parent. I would not recommend you to physically vanish with the children even with the support of police. 

4. If I were you, I would do the following:-

(a)    Confide in a marriage counsellor of the situation- pour over the story and current situation.

(b)   Highlight  that you beleive that a child needs both parents, however this being a situation where the mother of the child is neglecting the health, welfare and safety of the child, you are willing to take 100% responsibility. ( Use some cues from one of the research material I have posted on co-parenting) 

(c) Obtain documentation of the childs vaccination, health check up records from the pediatrician. Submit these documents to the counseller.

(d)   Meet the childs pediatrician and schedule an appointment without the child and share the story. Obtain a log of the visit from both the counsellor and Doc. 

(e)   Write formal and polite letters to the mother and request mother to provide an update on the childs, health, welfare and location. Send this under registered post. This letter goes to her official address as you knew as the in-laws address or her last legal address.

(f)   You are not supposed to know where she is or where the child is. Technically the mother has run away with a minor child. You file a child kidnapping and child abuse case against her. Give the police her last known / marital residence address. Give a missing person report -  you really dont know where she is unless she informs you. There is a child involved and it is but natural that you get worried and make  any and all possible efforts to get in touch with your child.

5. You need legal support and any lawyer who knows you have money will be willing to take up your case. You need to get your ducks lined up before you sign up with a lawyer. Collect tangible evidence of chlded neglect, desertion, unbecoming conduct of wife.Prepare your own statements on how you have been an involved and loving husband and responsible parent.

You have all my support in getting custody of your child. Lets join hands, we have a common goal in life.

Best

Adam

Rest is upto author to decide about given sugessions................but CHILD KIDNAPPING CAN NOT BE FILED ON BIOLOGICAL PARENT.

Thank you Adam for your kind advice.

Perhaps, I did not understand well. Could you please let me know:

What help will it do by taking documentation from the doctor and the councellor ?

I do not know, but I think it is a good idea, which might help me later on. 

Also, as I know she is staying in Bangalore (i confirmed from office sources) and I know the child is not with her, what harm can be there by taking the child? I understand your point that I need not say her. 

It is not illegal as I spoke with the lawyers. But, her parents may not open the door and say I did a forced entry (and they can file a case). In that case, I am taking the help of police upfront and some independent witnesses with me. And I'll video record the entire proceedings.  

I am not worried about her. To hell with her. Let her do whatever she is doing (i am keeping a track of it and persuading her a mutual divorce). If she does not agree in next 1 or 2 months, i'll go for a contested divorce.

Kindly let me know.

Regards,
Jeevan

It has been around 1 year 6 months separation today. In-laws and Bloody W*** kept quite these days.

Suddenly, I have got a call from unknown person who is her relative and started threatening about court and Police.

Bloodies asked for a Meeting. (After two years)

I said Go and File the case, Don’t call me, No more meetings…

GARAM ho gaye vo log….

Again After 1 and half month, They called my relative and said “we want to apology, lets held a meeting”

THANDE ho gaye vo log...

This is all update in my case.  I am damn sure they have approached lawyers and police in between this two calls.

Thanks LCI… For giving knowledge about Void Marriage.