Sangeetha 16 September 2017

Marriage life is under struggle

I have got married on Dec 2016. He is working as software engineer in abroad and my self resigned my software profession job in last November to move abroad with him and now I'm in India.He went back to abroad on 1st Jan 2017 by saying that he will return to India and take me along with him in march. But till now there is no response from him. We have mobile calls till March but there is no responsible words from him. Whenever I ask about visa he immediately starts to scold me angrily. And after March he starts to avoid my calls, chats and mails. I have informed this to his parents and they tried to solve this problem. My hubby throwed lot of complaints about me to his parents. Everything what he said are not truth and some are silly things like I'm not wearing bangles and not following his culture etc.,,,. I'm basically a traditional girl, brought up form a traditional joint family but he didn't understood me. After he left me im now with his mother. My mother in law is also not trusted on my hubby's compliments. My mother in law tried to make him to realise the truth and asked him to forgive me.I also asked sorry for numerous times through calls, mail, chat etc without knowing the fault on me. Now he is not in touch with anyone including mother in law and his brother. I don't know to how to deal with this. From Feb I have been mentally stressed a lot and to rescue my self from taking unnecessary decision I took counselings. Till now I don't know the reason and now it's going to be an year. I lost my peace and he is in abroad without having any responsibility. People's around me asking num of questions but I'm just saying that he have some visa problem but now I can't able to say the same reason again and again. August month we gave a mail that we gonna to give missing complaint as he didnt called to us for a long period, after that atlast he called to his mom and started to threaten us that he will kill himself if we do. After this incident we gave multiple calls to him but no response. He didn't shared any of his friends info or residential address to us. He have a girl friend there who came to myarriage and now knows everything but she is not ready to say anything to us. Till August she called to us and used to speak with us for hours without any matter and now she is avoiding us and saying that we r third person to him. And also she is throwing unwanted words on me without any reason. We including my mother in law were thinking that she may be the reason for my hubby's behavior. Now I'm also thinking some incidents. me and my hubby were together for 25 days after marriage, in those days she used to call multiple times without any reason. And once she called around midnight at 1. I sent a gift on feb for his Bday from India to the UK address he gave to me. Later i got shocked, that he revealed that the address was his girlfriend's but before 2 months to me he said that it's his address. As there is no response from my hubby I'm thinking lot of things. Now anyone pls advice me to how to deal with this. I need to make him to return india. Is there anyway ?

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16 Replies

(Guest)

This is a clear case of cheating. You have got cheated marrying a fraud. Your mail tells it clear and loud. He has a girlfriend and its strange on why he married you despite already in a relationship. He is a hypocrate as he tells you that he is unhappy becuase you do not wear traditional bangles however at the same time he is free to have a girlfriend and he seems to be residing with her.

Technical solution is to inform his company HR on his misdeeds and indicate that you will soon resort to legal measures.

Get hold of the Girlfriends company and inform her HR as well.

Hire a legal counsel and warn him of dire consequences in terms of his career, VISA and Financial matters. On seeing a Cat a Pegion closes it eyes and thinks that there is no danger, however, the Cat grabs the pigeion and finishes it off. Your husband thinks that sitting 7000 Kms away and ignoring you, he can get off, then there is no big fool like him.

Anyways, feeling sorry for you.

Sangeetha 16 September 2017

Thanks for replying @ Rajesh My dad did the same thing to my mom and now same situation for me. The fact is I don't know anything about him except the company name. As a software processional I didn't see anyone doing like this around me but now im thinking and able to hear lot of things about abroad grooms cheatings. As a affected person I know how painful it is and I'm digesting this thing without doing any mistakes. We are in traditional country with enormous traditional culture. People's like him are easily entering into a girl's life and living for 10 or 20 days and leaving.

Siddharth Srivastava (Advocate) 16 September 2017

Mr.Rajesh Shanker pl refrains to comment on a subject which is not your field. Donot pretend to be an expert of law. In India, it is an irony that every third person pretends to be expert in law. Take note that innocent people approach this platform in search of their legal issues so donot misguide them from your strange answer.

Sangeetha 16 September 2017

Don't we have any severe legal justice to stop these things. Really to say the truth I have attempted to kill myself like a fool and through helplines and all I took a step back. I'm 24 and well educated person and have boldness to face the issue. As I don't have my dad, I protected myself and created a good name. Everyone in my office will call me as sisy. but now my surrounding and love and affection that I kept on him made me weak really.

Sangeetha 16 September 2017

Sabi 18 September 2017

Hi sangeeta, a lot of such cases are taking place everyday around us. This is exactly why the govt has now decided to make aadhar mandatory for nri weddings. My opinion is simple, you get to live only once. So, don't waste that time waiting for someone who doesn't care for you. Go out, meet people and May be you'll find your true soul partner. Legally, all the avenues are complicated and more or less futile and it is very hard to bring him to book.

(Guest)

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Siddharth Srivastava (Advocate) 18 September 2017

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Siddharth Srivastava (Advocate) 18 September 2017

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Siddharth Srivastava (Advocate) 19 September 2017

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Adv Radhika Mehta (Advocate) 19 September 2017

What happened wit you dear was rather unfortunate. However, you are stiill young so do not let this unfortunate episode derail or hold you back. Its important that you get out of this sham of a marriage at the earliest. For that, you need to collect maximum proof of your husband's affair. For that, record his calls if necessary. However do not under any circumstances disclose your plan to his family as remenmber, blood is always thicker than water. Once you satisfied you have enough material, approach a lawyer and file a case for nullifying your marriage on the case of fraud/ misrepresentation. It has to be done within one year of discovering the fraud so get moving. Dont wallow in self- pity.

(Guest)

Dear Siddharth,

Lets close the matter here as I agree that I was unprofessional in my reply and have already tendered an apology. I should not have reacted in that manner. Over and above, I have deleted all those responses.

Forget this one off incident and keep up your support to LCI and God Bless you.

Kind Regards

Rajesh Shankar