Hi,
I am happily married for 3.5+ years.My married life is going good.The issue is with my in laws,I got married in April 2009.My in-law's financial condition is not
good,but I knew this before my love marriage.But my parents have already told to my husband that they will not give dowry to them as its love marriage and I am equally
qualified as my husband and I am working.
Me and my husband loves each other.But my husband is only son of my in laws,so he is quite attched with his mother.My initial marriage days in rented in-law's house
were good.One day I felt that my father in law is having bad eye on me, he was a failure person in his life and had quit his job since long time and was staying at home
only.And similarily on other hand my mother in laws kept gas cylinder open multiple times without any flame,I came to know about this when I smelled the leaking gas
LPG.Similarily with such incidents she tried to harrass me by saying at dinner table once that -"Jis ladki ke maa baap dahej nahi dete wo narak me jaate hai".I use to
tell everything to my husband but he never says a word to his parents,so when I saw the things are not getting sort out I moved out of my in-laws house in 2009.Then my
husband decided to stay 1 night at my in laws rented house and next night at my rented house,this happened for almost 2.5 years.But this routine/decision of my husband
didn't bring any kind of bitter feelings in me for my husband as I thought that he is the only son,so let him fulfil his resposibilities, for his parents .
But recently in year 2012 January my mother in law fallen very ill, she was detected to have chronic kidney disease,already she was having diabetes,heart problems
etc.My husband took me along with him to get her admitted in an expensive hospital as her family doctor had asked her to refer to a big hospital as she was critical.
I was there with my husband and cooperated him in every ways to get my Mother in law treated and took leaves from my office.The after 10 days she become stable and
doctor asked to take her home back and prescribed her diet plan, medicines(which are around costing 6k) every month.Me and my husband thought that I should shift back
to my-in-laws house as my MIL is unwell,I also thought to get back to the house as I thought she might have got changed after such a big problem with her health.
Then after 3-4 months,me and my husband decided to buy a flat somewhere as its not always preferable to saty in a rented house.So my husband asked for some monetary
help from my Father-in-law if he can contribute for the downpayment for the flat as I was also having some saving with me.Then my FIL gave some money around 2.5lacs to
my husband for the flat dwonpayment,this money was the one which he got after selling his parental house in his hometown.
Few months back we had to do some formalities for the purchased flat(another city),but as I came to house from office (my husband was not at home then) to have my
lunch, before boarding the bus for overnight journey,That afternoon again my MIL asked me to go to kitchen so that I can eat my lunch after warming it,but the gas was
leaking out already.I didn't said a word that day to my MIL as we were going for a good purpose of buying flat.But on the way to I told this thing to my husband. My
husband said -if this happens again let him know so that he can ask his mother,why she is doing this.
We have kept a cook/maid for the family dinner/lunch as I am working ao I can't give that much of time to my in laws and who will prepare their lunch as my MIL was not
able to do the household chores but she was able to walk,eat,sit,watch TV,speak etc.One day she said that she don't want this cook to continue as she has heard from
neighbours that she is not a good worker and she think herself the Maharani of the coloney etc etc and she didn't follow what she instruct her she do what she likes,
but me and my husband were not that much unhappy with the food she prepares, its like a help for us as we both are working,so because of the cook I was able to
concentrate on my office.
After 9 months of my MIL recovery,I had some argument with my MIL over something then my MIL said that I was responsible for her illness and I have blocked her money
(which my husband asked from my FIL for buying the flat) this thing disturb me again then I said that I will again live separate I can't live in such an atmosphere.The
my MIL started crying and started shouting that she will commit suicide if I leave. Then my FIL said that don't go as they are dependant on us.
Then my husband asked me to have some mutual discussion with in laws and start live happily there with in laws itself,that time I agreed staying again with them, but as
time passed by my MIL every now and then compalins about the cook and said that -"arre uss mein bahot taakat hai wo cook mujhe laga dabakar maar degi" and asked us to
dismiss her.But we didn't as she was not of that kind,then 1 day that cook called my husband and said that you mother her scolded her a lot for coming 15-20 mins late
so she is leaving the job.
This thing then again caused a burden on me to get sometime out of my busy office schedule and prepare dinner for all of us, but as I came early that day then my MIL
beforehand prepares her and her husband's dinner and asked me to prepare for my husband and me.She did this more 2-3 weeks.Then 1 day she called my husband that she is
having pain in hand and when I will be back home i will prepare the food for them and it was a short notice so I was not in a position to complete my office work early
and come home and prepare dinner for them, but this thing was not fair to me as when I come early she beforehand get her and her husband dinner ready but when I already
told her that I cannot make to come home early as I have to attend many calls at international timings inspite of that,that day she asked my husband that they will have
dinner when i prepare it.It caused a frustrating situation for me as she many times look at me with suspicion that I am putting something wrong in the food so she never
trust me or any other maid who usually cooks the food ,so she always prepares her food separate.This thing was a kind of harrassment for me.The I compalined her about
this that why can't she tell me beforehand if she wants me to prepare the food eventhough I have already asked her in the same day morning that if she want me to come
home early for preparing the dinner,she said -"Hum late bhi khayenge to bhi chalega" but she didn't say that I have to come early or not.
Afetr 1 month of this incident for some or the other events again some argument happened between me and my MIL then I asked if she has some problem with me then tell me
beforehand so that I will take a house on rent nearby then she shouted at me pointing to the door that -"Mere ghar se nikal jao".After listening this my husband and me
was too much hurt,no one, not my FIL and MIL asked us to stay back and said to my husband that -"Ye ladki to cheap family se aayi hai,cheap ladki hai ,chi chi chi ,tum
log alag he raho".After listening this I started crying and my husband said that lets take some other flat on rent nearby, he will bring the medicine,monthly medical
reports of my MIL and will bring monthly ration for them.He told my FIL that we will live nearby and if required at anytime call him as his mother has not recovered
fully.
On this diwali we went to greet her diwali by touching my in laws feets then she said -"Nahi nahi inn sab cheezo ki koi jarurat nahi hai" and went to a separate room
and didn't talk to me nor my husband,but FIL was bit happy that we come and offered us the sweets.
As its already 1 month since then we are living separate from my in-laws.I sometimes get worried about my MIL thinking what if she commits suicide because of her ill health depression and write a suicide note that she is taking such an action because of me.
Please suggest what should I do in this case?
