Need Advice for Second Wife

Too agree with you and Suchitra, thanks for this but How can I convined him for society and family emotional blackmailing . My friend is in deepresion since parents and realtives are saying they did wrong step they have choosen that step for their selfishness not for family and society .

Below solutions giving only if this husband decides what is his priority in life - s*x or a child as both in current situation as rightly said by Arup ji, Suchitra and etal is not possible for weak hearts.

Solution 2:  Go for surrogacy wherein Eggs will be of handicapped wife (if going in for this then do it fast as she is about to cross over to menopause) and Sperms is from husband and womb is of a surrogate women. It is probably a better ending for future of you two. But now don't cribb ki cost is high and how wife can look after the child kar key after the child is handed over to intending parents ! Husband wants to bake and eat the cake too which is not possible for a bakery owner. But before that ask this husband to refresh himself with marriage counseling / psychiatrist help without which even this solution may not appeal to him.

Solution 3: Ask this husband to arrange for good financial security for present wife (means see to it that the present wife remains financial stable for say till age 78 which is average age of Indian women) and then go for MCD and after proper MCD Decree in hand go and get married legally that also after checking all gyno. and physical attributes of this would be and make himself and his family and society happy but do offer friendship hands to that unfortunate ex wife since you say na ki both love each other so let the love remain as it is for eternity :-)

But whatever this man does I still feel is not the right thing infact it is called cheating a innocent life but then people do it for the better of them !

contact a good lawyer . everything is possible. but in case ur second marriage does not suceed u will be in a mess almost near death experience.

Ask your friend whether he wants a second wife, or, a child . If he wants a child, there are various methods to have one, lie adoption, sarrogacy or induced pregnancy.. .If he wants a second wife, then many have suggested ways in this thread.

"In special conditions it is possible, I heard it.

One of the stuationis : if wife can not give birth to child then husband can marry another women with the consent of first wife.

It better to get permission letter from first wife then wait for soem days, create an evidence that husband do not have any alliance at this moment by giving the profile in the matrominal sites etc...so that later first wife can not say that with husband fear/threat she accepted it ...etc."-------- ABSOLUTELY WRONG. SC RULLING AGAINST IT, IS THERE.

"But whatever this man does I still feel is not the right thing infact it is called cheating a innocent life but then people do it for the better of them !"

ARUN JI,

when a person fall into a trap, he tries to come out of it. i feel for him, but perhaps we are helpless.

Sh. Arup ji,

A neutral reply to your quote " when a person fall into a trap, he tries to come out of it. i feel for him"

Sir,

1. HMA is still Gender Neutral so there is no need to bring in sentiments and emotions in this mediocore social drama post. and feel for him. I re-read Ansh very first post today especially the end line caught my attention and he says there that his friend that is this husband wants a son out of the marriage so one side it is biased traditional values of "son' imbibed in this husband's mind and parallely handicap of wife whom he loved and then married is running and to top it as extra marrital toppings his s*x life is shaky so why "feel for him" when he has done a love marriage and in a marriage people marry with each other with open eyes not wearing coloured rainbow sun glasses !.

2. With this rejoinder post, I take back my earlier suggestion (i.e. Suggestion no. 2) of surrogacy now because if this husband is in jugad for a son as he says in his very first post then "fetus gender selection" is banned as per Law of the land then his surrogacy money is blown away in the wind and he will come back here after an year suppose he follows this suggestion.


3. So what he deserves is not only immediate psychiatrist and a mrriage counciling help but opt for Suggestion no. 3 to self improve and evolve as a better present husband or next wife's better husband, infact that is the best solution in current scenario and let him have not only a second wife by legally divorcing with financial security arrangments for his first wife put in place and have son or daughter or twins or more importantly have as much s*x as much second wife allows him but there is no guarantee that all cakes that he bakes will be as tasty as he wants in rest of his life so this post is actually morally, ethically and socially should be avoided being further answered and let them be left on mercy of destiny by chance or destiny by choice here choice plays better role than chance just beze they love each other and bze of love they ignored physical aspect of continuity of a married couples life and when thermometer  of society started watching them then they are becoming concious of their wrongs into rights what a high emotional drama I will say which is like coming out of one loop and falling into another loop and it is perpetual like Citizen Watch Companies Eco Drive watch which is perpetual which is no need ot fix a battery of life into it :-)


Watch his further answer now, he will say he is financially weak so there goes chances of MCD too :-))))

Rgds

One more suggestion we got

1.If the lady is capable of getting pregnant, then try IVF technology for the birth. Medicine has made the great progress and finding the care is not impossible. DOnt worry about society. If your friend gets the good match, then marry her with consent.

2. One lawyer has suggested to my friend that since this marrige is not completed one year so we will make it null and void with some medical report with her disability. My friend wanted to know that if the marrige becomes null and void so can it possible to meet his first wife or law is strict if you divorce or null your marrige you will not make any contact to her, as he dont want to loose her and want to take care of her.

what is your intention?

you are becoming sucpicious day by day.

Ansh

Have you read your own reply which I am quoting here before your today's last / recent post ?

On 23 June 2010, 13:05 you said and I quote " How that lady can give birth and how she will take care of baby. In next few years she also needs take care of herself."

I feel you are intentionally going into loop with too many cakes being offered to you to pass on to your this friend whereas you yourself are by-passing simple ethical, moral and institutional responsibilites / codes of nature to a sixer and the simple solution to your friend's issues is to make first his wife no. 1 financialy strong and then go for MCD (mutual concent divorce) and with a Divorce Decree in hand opt for Second Marriage and leave that second marriage to Destiny and side by side offer "friendship" hand to previous ex wife for which there is no current Law banning such friendships with ex wife.

All three parties will "probably" be happy and once you get answer from your this friend what is his priority in life that is to ask him - s*x OR child AND / OR a wife with s*x and child then it is better understood the main question otherwise it is simple case of treating a lady like a commodity which personally I feel is not the right thing to do at this juncture that also in connivence of a third party such as you being his friend and askign all sorts of loopy questions.  I think you are misusing the facility of "interactive platform" "innocently":-))))  

If one makes such marriage null and void then don't you think the lady also needs to be looked after financially in her present handicapped stage OR is your friend so selfish now, what is this society / community you two guys are conniving into ?

Rgds

Hi Arun ji, first of all I would like to say thanks for valuable suggestion.

1.I am too looking good advice for him so that I can suggest him in a better way.What He needs that fisrt of all he wants to take care of that W1 since they both are not able to forget each other ,I dont know personaly his W1 but I know my friend he is emotional type guy. Thats why he is trying socially and under Law to solve this matter since his W1 is not ready to give divorce due to fear factor of future so he is trying to convience her that he is with her at any cost.

2. On the other side family and socially blackmail they are saying to leave W1 so that they can do other marrige W2 so that his future can be bright since they are saying if w1 is 40 years and handicaped so what is the future for this relation . But the Guy is not ready to loose her even he tried but it is not his hand he said me his situation . I am too uanable to solve this mystry thats why using this platform so that I can do something for him.

3. Family is saying If you want to still W1 so leave us we will declare out you from our property and all the reations . We will never help you in any matter in future.

ha ha ......cat 9W1 insecurity) slowly coming out now wow


Now W1 is bound to use S. 125 CrPC + DV Act + 498a IPC rest assured = when you say n I quote "W1 is not ready to give divorce due to fear factor of future"


Your friend being emotional will now give into reality of W1 insecurity which many of us politely suggested = Make her financially secure and then opt for MCD and after MCD decree go in for W 2 with open mind 


But before all these ask him for psychiatrist / marriage counciling professional sittings to become emotionally strong to face relaities of marriage life / sociaty he keeps and become a responsible mature MAN = HUSBAND

END OF THIRD PARTY  INTERVENTION = HERE IS MY SINCERE SUGGESTION DIGEST ALL THESE THEN MAKE THINGS PRACTICAL AND THEN COME BACK WITH RESULTS


In medical line I ofen advise following if you can digest these then probably you my come back here again and I self quote my advise given to prospective patients;


"Keep an Open Mind - Once you have heard of a new medical technology, it's okay to ask your doctor if you are a candidate for it. But try not to become immediately obsesive / fixed on a new treatment option, or you may deny yourself the chance to obtain a complete perspective and possibly the most appropriate treatment for your specific symptoms."


Amen...all the best 

1.Hi Arun ji, your suggestions are always welcome to me. I have one more question for this Man, As he had talked to their parents yesterday to keep the W1 but his family are too strict about this , they are saying If W1 will file 498 or 494 they are not going to help you then whatevr will happen you have to bear yourself.

2.Family is too strict about looking the future of Man and his W1 becuase her disability, they have serched W2 for him but W2 families are saying that you have to forget W1 at any cost other wise we will file case to you because you have to chhose one of these two.

3.W1 is so strict for divorce she is saying if she give divorce they people will kick her away she is saying she wants this man not money. W2 wishes first leave W1 then she will come into this man life.

4. Family is saying leave W1 by divorce and opt W2 so after that they will forgive this man and they are saying if he didnt do the same then it will effect on their youngers sisters marrige. Keeping the society can any budy suggest for this mess. since this Man is not able to forget W1 and W1 is saying if anybody will do anything forcefully then she will go to police for help.

Ansh,

This is my last mail as a warning to you.

You think people here are fools and you are the only smart ass in this world.

I am blunt to the point today because I have been reading your all mails from 9th. June till date but didnot disturb your tempo of lies and precious times each of the experts put in to reply and make sense to you and I personally dislike people when they tell lies and think they are the smartest of all.

Respect this Forum and its active members who take out their precious time off their busy court practices to help general public as well as to share knowledge among peers. And top of it you are taking people here for a ride by first asking innocent question “Prevent me from Jail” then pops up a child out of W1 in “My Wife is not ready for Divorce” title mail and then W1 becomes handicapped in this subject head messages and various knowledgeable people including core experts kept on suggesting some of the finest suggestions but you never stopped your greed for deceit and lies.

Now what you have to say to your own lies and changing messages contents of below three main titles I am quoting here from your own mail posting I hope you don’t comeback and say hey this Ansh is different than the previous two title mails what a crap man !

https://www.lawyersclubindia.com/forum/Re-Re-Prevent-me-from-jail--20369.asp

https://www.lawyersclubindia.com/forum/Re-My-wife-is-not-ready-for-divorce--20155.asp

https://www.lawyersclubindia.com/forum/Re-Urgent-help-Second-marriage-case-19949.asp

Please don't make fool of these legal experts precious time here with lies. be straight and people will help genuine people.

I live in Delhi and if you have guts face me face to face I will tell you all about matrimonial laws and what is IPC / CrPC / DVA and DPA is all about and how your W1 or W2 and this 12 years child who becomes in next message 10 years old can collectively screw happiness out of you.

Stop all these nonsense and try to become first a humble human being first of all.

D. Arun Kumar, New Delhi

best part is go to tis hazari court. contact  M reliigion lawyer . he will guide u accordingly . paid witnesses, paid maulvi will come . spend money change religion. but.......

if u r govt servant u know ccs conduct rules.

if ur wife is ph then read equal rights full participation act and then take decision.....

refer to apex court judgements if one of them decides u to drag u to family court in future then......

take wise decisions