Need your references, who take their wives back after 498a

Why do we say things which we don't intend to follow.

You can tell the concerned court about the behavior of your wife since last meeting and refuse to take her back.

A day or two in Jail is better than living hell.

Regards,

Shonee Kapoor

harassed.by.498a@gmail.com

NFHS Flash Dharna 17th September – 9-11 AM to protest against the 498A report by Committee on Petitions of Rajya Sabha under the Chair

manship of Shri Bhagat Singhhttps://498amisuse.files.wordpress.com/2011/09/untitled.jpg?w=820&h=898

https://498amisuse.wordpress.com/2011/09/14/nfhs-strongly-opposes-one-hundred-and-fortieth-report-on-the-committee-on-petitions-of-rajya-sabha-under-the-chairmanship-of-shri-bhagat-singh-koshyari-regarding-498a-amendments/

Subject: NFHS strongly opposes One Hundred and Fortieth Report on the Committee on Petitions of Rajya Sabha under the Chairmanship of Shri Bhagat Singh Koshyari, regarding 498A Amendments

About National Family Harmony Society®: “National Family Harmony Society®” NFHS is a Non Governmental Organization (NGO) promoting the cause of “family harmony” and“gender equality”. It is registered under “The Karnataka Societies Registration Act, 1960” and is based in Bangalore. We have branches in more than 16 states and in abroad too. We have approximately 16500 members all over India. To know more about us please visitwww.family-harmony.org / www.498a.org.in.

The Committee on Petitions of Rajya Sabha under the Chairmanship of Shri Bhagat Singh Koshyari, M.P. presented its Hundred and Fortieth Report to the Rajya Sabha on 7th September, 2011 on the petition praying for amendments in Section 498A of Indian Penal Code, 1860. The Petition was submitted by Dr. Anupama Singh, a resident of New Delhi.

The committee has given some recommendations to Rajya Sabha regarding 498A IPC. Before discussing merits or demerits or expressing our opinion on them, we would like to present different perspective of this issue because the committee has deliberated and recommended some ways and methods to “Stop the misuse of 498A IPC”.

There may not be difference of opinion in this country if the subject matter to be discussed is “protection of women”. No doubt, 498A IPC was framed to prevent cruelty on women and act as a deterrent against cruelty on women. If that is the case then the petition is submitted by Dr Anupama Singh who herself is women. The fact that the law has failed and has not solved its purpose and has been seriously misused and abused by greedy women to settle score with husband and his family members is not in dispute.

The problem is the committee has given a very technical and legal opinion to an issue which is entirely social and matrimonial in nature and has limited its scope of discussion. E.g.

In the para 13.8 of the report the committee acknowledges that measures are required to “check on false complaints”. The committee recommends that “The Committee feels that the Government should consider providing legal remedies for preventing filing of false complaints or complaints with ulterior motive to harass the husband and his relatives under Section 498A. The Committee recommends that Section 498A be amended so as to provide for specific penalty in case the complaint is found to be false or with some other ulterior motive.”

So when the misuse and abuse of the law is very clear and it is acknowledged that husbands and their family members are also victims of violence, cruelty and false cases then the scope of the discussion should not be limited to “Stop the abuse the 498A IPC”. The larger issue is“Abuse and misuse of Gender biased laws” and “Protection to husband and his family members”.

There are many laws and Acts to deal with matrimonial disputes and most of them are NOT “Gender Neutral”. Some of them are 498A IPC, Protection of women from domestic violence Act, 125 of CrPC, Hindu marriage Act, Hindu adoption and succession Act, Guardian and wards Act etc. All these Acts and IPC/CrPC section deals with “Protection to women”, “Alimony and maintenance to women”, “Divorce and child custody” etc. It is well known that all these laws are being heavily misused by greedy women to settle score and to harass the husbands and his family members.

The argument of women faces e.g. that of Ex-WCD minister Smt Renuka Chowdry that“women has been suffering from ages and now it is the turn of MEN to suffer” (In one of her TV interviews) OR that “Abuse and misuse is in small number so it is ok” OR to say that “Any law for that matter is being misused” has only aggravated the issue.

Unless the government looks at the this grave issue in its entirety and makes serious attempt to solve it by simplifying the laws rather than duplicating the laws this issue will never be solved. We think now the time has come so that Government should look at the larger issue wrt the matrimonial disputes. In view of the above discussion we strongly oppose the report which is nothing but half hearted attempt by Government which is not going to solve the issue. Hence we demand following.

• Misuse and abuse of Laws: Heavy punishment by the way of imprisonment should be introduced in case of misuse of any matrimonial laws.
• Make matrimonial disputes “Gender biased”. Government is completely ignoring the pain, harassment and torture of husband and his family’s members which they suffer at the hands of greedy women. Thousands of husbands have got divorce from wife on the ground of cruelty. This proves that women also can be cruel. Hence matrimonial laws should be made “Gender neutral” to provide protection to husbands and his family members.
• Duplication of Laws: Just to deal with the maintenance for wife there are 6 different laws. This is due to the mindset of our law makers to make a new law if there is complaint regarding old law. When Hindu marriage act was already there to deal with the maintenance of the wife then there was no need to bring CrPC 125, or Domestic violence act or HAMA.
• The definition of women is “Newly married young women”: Even though it is matter of common knowledge that daughter-in-law’s treat their mother-in-law with cruelty even then “Matrimonial laws” are only meant for “Newly married young women”. This must be amended to given protection to all without any consideration of gender or age.
• Protection to Husband and his families: Currently Husband and his family members do not have any protection from the cruelty of daughter-in-law. Laws should be made gender-neutral for their protection.
• Child custody issues: Government should bring in amendment for “Shared Parenting”.
• Never ending litigations: The litigations are so lengthy that by the time a father files for child custody and by the time matter is decided by Supreme Court, the child is ready to have his own child. And similarly once a divorce is filed by spouse, and by the time Supreme Court decides it couple are at the verge of retirement. The litigation in case of matrimonial disputes should be finished in a time bound manner of 1 year.
• Simplification of Divorce laws: What the relatives and the social circle cannot achieve is sought to be achieved that too by an over burdened presiding officer. Divorces are denied in a routine manner even when criminal cases are pending. Law should be modified keeping in mind the changed social structure.
• Try all matrimonial disputes under civil law: Involvement of police breaks any possibility of re-union between the couple.

Attempt by Government to do some temporary, ad-hoc and stop-gap arrangement by fixing some loop holes in the 498A IPC is neither going to stop the misuse of “Gender biased” laws nor it is going to provide any “protection to husband and his family members” from potential misuse and abuse of law. Government instead of taking ad-hoc and temporary steps should constitute a committee for overhaul of overall matrimonial laws rather than approaching the issue piecemeal basis which will aggravate the issue rather than solving it.   

P Suresh, President,                                                                M Mahesh, General Secretary,

9880141531                                                                               9731569970

Upasana, my friend,

Don't spam in other people's post. You have already posted the same in diffirent thread.

Regards,

Shonee Kapoor

harassed.by.498a@gmail.com

dear all,

yesterday was my court date. and i am proudly told the judge that i cannot survive with my wife anymore. the intelligent magistrate forwarded my case to mediator cell. i am very happy now. feeling high sigh of relief....i think that its better to live in bars for 2-3 days then to live with that b*tch for the whole life...thanks to all of u :)

one thing more, pls suggest me wat wud be done in mediator cell?

for any kind of suggestion /help mail me at my sister's id : riddhi.bhatia81@yahoo.com or mail me kartikey.tcshyd@gmail.com

Yes if it false you should not,

but for other reasons like little domestic violence and in-laws harassment and husbands unreasonable attitude she filed 498 and if at all she wants to reconcile then i guess he should take wife back.After all marriage is not all about law and sections.14 dys of your jail does not mount to sacrifice her married life if at all she wishes to rejoin you.If you too were at mistake then reconcile ,dont listen to just law breakers .

Use your conscience.

There wont be any charm in taking 498a, DV wife back. It will be rather a time bomb kind of situation. One would say okay due to social pressure or pressure by Law itself and take 498aDV wife back, but deep down inside there will be hurt, I did not do anything, but still I had to go and sit in jail/inside police lockup, that feeling nobody can remove from an aggreieved husband's mind, one day out of joy that everything is ok or had a promotion or something had a couple of drinks and your rewind, am sure one will end up commiting crime and really end up behind bars for killing 498a wife.

My suggestion would be, part ways peacefully and never think of joining again.

Good to see in this post that, some people says forgive her mistakes because of jealues, some conflicts, misguided by relatives, families, friends etc., bla bla bla.

But we are a just common man, who run away from police if we running vechicle without healmet just to save a Rs.100.

I am not a Gandhi or a Tata Birla to feel that my image screwed because of false cases. But i am just a person hardly knowing 10-20 close family members 250-300 family relatives, 100-150 friends (in facebook), 2-4 best friends.

How can i forget the day i went police station along with my unmarried sister, mother, father, and police, public, criminals in police station looking at us like we are convicted people.

Espcially the way they look at my sister and mother. How can we forget those hard moments ?

No excuse to her!!!, good i don't have kind out of my marriage

@ above & original author,

Not as of now ------------not as of never  when it comes for 498a wife forever.Make it simple calculation 4+9+8+a =21a

I.e, article 21 in Indian constitution means you have your fundamental rights stated.So how similarity between your 498a wife = Right to life and Personal liberty.

So,dear Husband, heroshima pe ek hi bar atom bomb gida tha pad aaj bhi wahan bacche effected paye jate hai.So,think beyond every consequences of your lovely 498a wife before taking her.

Regards,

A sufferer.......

Thats what male ego??? if at all wife is not at mistake and by mistake if really in-laws and husband has harassed her for petty issues other than dowry(because 498 means dowry no not at all)if husband kicked her she kick in return,if husband family inlaws insult her she cant do again the same,so she used 498,landing in jail for 3-4 days if any one get sanger then what she might have suffred in all the family members hands and mean husbands hand.Ofcourse filing 498 for timepass and usels jealosy revenge especially to grab money...then such wives should not be takeb back at ay cost,But a girl after suffering atleast 20 % filed a case of 498 and you landed in jail for day or two then it should not be the reason for divorce.IF at all she is ready for reconciliation then you should go for it,if at al read again if at all ...you have kicked her,you have slapped her or listened to in-laws family dramas especially mothers opinion sister opinion and insulted her,made her feel like a puppet of flesh then reconciling is the best option as a human is getting one more chance to mend his behaviour.But divorcing just for filing 498 as if husband is very innocent is not the answer.Hope get sthe clarity of thought.Running behind courts is not that easy either than to reconcile...but think husband already tortured her(10% to 100%),she filed 498 and out of anger divorcing her you are becoming the culprit of spoiling someones life forever.If at al husband is very innocent nevr did any wrong then your version is apt.Good day.Once again reconciliation is better option to live life one who loves you.498 breaks more than making.

I do agree with the opinion expressed by Helping Hand.

@ janaki

1. husband with his sis n mother go to jail.......thats humiliation, 

2. wife files case 498etc etc thats vengence.....

3. husband and full fly goes to jail or police station..........wifes vengence satisfied........

4. if husband guilty or not guilty........how humiliation will be satisfied.......

5. if its a compromise.....then be it fair and squqre, let wifes full family go behind bars or just to a police station for few days under any false cases, and then why not compromise.......

6. that would be a compromised fair and square deal........

If one AXN can kill a wife , am sorry Divorce is the second option ,first thing is such a man of anger even after compromisisng can kill his wife it means surely he had tortured her so rather than divorcing and compromising , such a husband should get his due punishment first by law,which takes 2-4 years , when calling police station humilating mother sister brother is painful to husband, then reconciling to wife with her husband is also same painful but may be because of society pressure and financial support of male person beside her she agrees for reconciliation, but what she went through and filed 498 is a big question,

My opinions are just two :::1.if she was tortured filed 498 had reconciling option its fine.Just tit and tat ya as you said it took two for tango.

Second,a false 498(absolutely no torture by in-laws never husband ,FIL,MIL,SIL,BIL,hit or kicked for any issue) now attempting to bang money and reconciling if failed then Sure no taking back.

As far as after 4 years simple issue can kill other human being such person with aggressive attitude should not get married first.If at all gets married then shuld know basic etiquets to behave with women,at the same time women must know .

Anyways It also takes trust as you said.Very important to be in marriage.If that failed before or after 498 waste of time.Yours as well as mine.

But i prefer still to make reconciliation if its in my hand to counsel as you said Police the way they handle peopl is not apt councelling,i know thats the reason filing 498 in police stations breaks everything, so atleast in court if at all a good educated apt counselling can be done where AFTER 4 years happiness can be expected in marriage ,then i hope you agree with me.But whos having such time .People enjoy others fall .Also sometimes i wonder  if 498 was men's weapon then what it would have been .But good to know HELPING HAND that you tried for one couple but that couple was not right.There are really some innocent couples who want to reconcile for the loved one wife/husband but just for family trust they dont.Try for one such couple.Good day.