People who got divorced,kindly share your thoughts on this

@ Roshni it seem u still have soft corner towards your married life. Why don't you give a shot and try to speak with your husband again may be he has same feelings as you do. If he says no then no regrets atelast u tried to rejoin.

Hey Roshni

 

 

Your lawyer was a double agent.

 

 

Your lawyer fixed the whole game. I am pretty sure. This is what happens in ALL MCD, I am telling you.

 

 

That fellow must have got a handsome amount from your ex-husband also for making you concede for MCD.

Your ex must have had a secret agreement with your lawyer.

 

 

Now you ex hubby must be roaming around like a 'free stag' claiming to be an innocent man! He has papers to prove it.

 

 

Now you can't call it a forced MCD.

 

You may call it MCD in a dejected mood and your ex's triumph to make you break down under pressure tactics to concede for MCD.

 

 

But in the eyes of law now it has no value.

 

 

Move on buddy calling it a 'bad dream'.  

 

 

Such people don't get away everytime.

 

 

Probably they have got a big designin the comming to teach them a fitting lesson which settles all score.

 

 

Time is also a healer.

he was communicating with me well till 2006 end.but he got poisoned by his mother and since then he stopped interacting with me.otherwise he was hoping to see me back in dubai.

 

 

then i tried for 2.5 yrs,before finally giving up in 2009.because i cud not keep begging him.

 

after that,all proceedings(whether inside/outside court) were controlled by his relatives on the instruction of his mother who is like their village mukhiya.they never let me talk to him/meet him and instructed him also clearly never to interact with me.

i was told later by one of their relatives,that my MIL had also caused divorce of her real sister too...

 

so i have no regrets at all now,because i did my level best.but upset as to why it happened with me..

 

anyways,thanks for your concern

This is life ,New and Strange ;Strange ,because we fear it,New because we have kept our eyes turned from it...men are men and life is life and we must deal with them as they are ;and if we want to change them ,we must deal with them in the form in which they exist.Accept the reality.Reality is your drug,the more you have of it ,the more power you get and the higher you feel.

 

@Roshni 

Why are you feel depressed when you listen the song from the film Kal Ho Na Ho?(whenever she listen this song she is crying and depressed..)  Favourite song ...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_oAAVWeIAF4

Life is all about sadness , dukh dukh..so ultimately jab itna hai then why ask for more by doing all sad things like remembering the past, listening sad songs , talking about past and running away from present to hide in past and not to look in the future..

Accept the real today whats gone is gone , u cannot change it by thinking over it or regretting of what u could or could not do to change it..look for new things as life never stops and nowhere it does and for noone..so why do you stop in past dwelling over it would do nothing ..make the best for today..past se positive or learning experience aata hai tht shud be harnessed and  nothing more than that..

Cherish ur life every moment..

@Kushan

 

Tumhe humesha mazaak soojhta hai.Making fun of me here..

 

When did I say I like this song????

 

 

@Aishwarya

 

Actually I posted this thread to know the views of divorced people,whether they really feel like "free birds" or whether they become depressed,a few months/years after their divorce.

 

It was not to reveal how I feel.But a bit it came out.Sorry for that..

 

So those people who wana share their thoughts post divorce are free to write here.

Roshniji…

I agree with you and I say this from my bottom of heart that after divorce I don’t feel like a free bird but I feel like I had been cut off from everything & every happiness. I do feel like that some of my body parts had been cut off & I had been thrown to live life but no one can see the pain. When some problems starts between husband – wife and its taken to court then many peoples start taking interest in it for some other reasons. Like some relatives never seriously try to reconcile between them but they have fun of it. I myself experience that. Also lawyers take advantages of it as it is their bread butter (I’m extremely sorry to lawyers in the LCI and this happens just b’coz of laws of INDIA r such). In my case also we got separated then all court proceeding started while court proceeding start my lawyer had also drafted case that I don’t like as my lawyer drafted what is not real so I had stopped that & told my lawyer to draft what is real & that happens as I love my wife still yaar… also my lawyer & few of the relative told me not to talk with my wife but yaar if I don’t talk to her then how can I get her back. You know many time its happens that we think that she will come and talk and they think that I will go and talk but in this time period all went wrong. Every problem can be solved by the proper communication at proper time come on yaar what u people says… anyways due to my dear beloved respected mother-in-law forced in police station & on me at last I have to sign on notary divorce paper in presence of lady inspector in police station just b’coz they had put condition before me that sign divorce paper or they will do FIR for 498a & put all of us behind bars… at last everything happens according to my mother-in-law wish that is divorce happens.

For nearly 2 years I feel that my world had been lost I was so depressed that I have to be medicated. Few of my good friends help me they show me the way to meditation & all spiritual ways to make our life balanced. In those day I use pray a lot now also I do. To kill my loneliness I use to go out for roaming & movies but at every place I do remember my wife & daughter as in our good time we use to go there & have fun so its became so tough for me to handle situation. I always think that some miracle happens & I got my wife & daughter back happily but… I tell from my heart that its really tough to live alone… I always try to fine some true friend who can understand my feelings & emotions but I never able to get it… also I tried to find friends on NET but I come across some bitter experience on NET that rubbish I don’t like ever…. After my bitter experience of marriage now again I don’t want to involve myself in that as I feel that I will not be able to adjust myself with other partner as still my wife had some special place in my heart… so I can’t put anybody else in place of her… I can say that still I live with an hope that some day my wife will come back to me with my lovely daughter and we will have a happy life….

After 1 month of divorce I & my wife had a talk where my wife asked me why I had signed divorce paper I could have stopped it. Come on yaar what to do yaar what can I say. Now my wife want to come back but she had put lots of hard condition before me from that few of I can fulfill & few I can’t… many other things are there we are discussing and from that discussion I can feel that my wife wants to come back to me but somebody is there who still try to stop her by giving many points to be discussed before hand with me… I really wish from my deep of heart that my wife come back in my life & I’m very much ready to accept her but how can I handle that somebody who always give some points to discuss..

At the end I can say that yes after divorce I feel very bad and feel that my life is finished but today once again just a little hope had come in my life like wise I wish that in everyone like this hope comes in anyways & there life become good forever….

Thanks to Roshniji for giving this opportunity to share my feelings & thoughts…

Also I’m sorry to that all members to whom I had hurt unknowingly…

Hope you will all pray for me for reconciling with my wife….

GOD BLESS U ALL…

So friends - Do we all agree that Divorce does not benefit the majority (Husband-Wife, Relatives, Siblings, Parents, Freinds....). What is the solution. PATIENCE, ACCEPTANCE, SACRIFICE, GOOD COMMUNICATION, AVOID LOSING TEMPER, RESPECT EACH OTHER.....................). 

But the main issue is that people at right places must understand the lacunae in Law which is making it simple and possible for some to resort to Divorce as a hurriedly made decision. No wonder the Divorce cases are on the increase and as I see from the above responses, majority of men have given very sad stories about their separation.

Suggestion - There should be some sort of restraint imposed on the person seeking / initiating Divorce.

Dear Roshni ji, Thanks a lot for this post. Really ur bravehearted who has shared her feeling publicly. Though i am not suffer but one of my client was suffering with similar agony and trauma but thanks god due to my best effort his marriage has been saved. My client was falsely implicated in 498a and DP Act but was acquitted by ld. Court. During this period he was immensely suffered from depression and lonliness.After accquital from the criminal case, he was admanant on dissolution. Though i convince him from not to doing so and forgive her wife. Arranged the consultation session and convinced both of them. In these cases as the time passes both partner suffered from insecurity as the result they entered into the the great trauma and deperression which is irrepairable and disturb them till death. Trauma, deppersion and lonliness caused by losing life partner made both of them a moving corpse. No one is left to share with your emotions. Even the relative avoids you.

@Rajeev Kumar

 

Hats off to you for making such a noble cause...Happy to note that your client's marriage got saved..

 

I wish more & more lawyers become like you.

 

Good luck in your life..

ur one of a kind mr rajeev as a lawyer saving the marriage is quite a unique thing to do.. .anyhow u did it..

.good work..n thnx

The level of pain felt depends on how much love and feelings one has even after divorce, and I also have felt it.

If there was less or no love and couple were quarelling most of time and there is hate for each other than divorce is perfect advicse.

But sometimes very unfortunate situation arise and even beloved one who is more desired than even own life has to be separated and left. Life becomes desert and meaningless. days and months spent crying even when one is sleeping at night. Exteme level of grief and sadness, seeing and missing him/her in dreams too. It hurts mostly in we are alone. Even if he/she re-marries to someone, It takes long time to develop love and feeling for 2nd wife or husband but 1st love can never be erased completely in life.

Just a sign on paper makes life separate but not by heart and feelings. There should be no laws of divorce or marriage.

@ Dhaval,

There should be no laws of divorce or marriage.

its only the - Presence of divorce laws - that is detering ppl seeking divorce.

otherwise, in today's scenario, everyone is carving for divorce.

However, i admit that there is also a black side behind this fact.