Please advice

Sir,

What i meant by lottery ticket ?

My husband is a very good gentleman. He is very soft person as far as I know. He shouts very rarely. He is handsome & very much talented has lot of potential. He has done lot of things on his own, has not taken any kind of help from his parents or his family. Best thing about him is he is not addicted to smoking, drinking. He has lot of respect towards elders, although he does not respect my parents. This is what I know about him. When I got married all of my friends & relatives told me that I am very lucky(?) to get such a good husband.

I still think he can adjust with me. I tried telling him what a human needs in life, a 10x10 room, some food & clothing but he does not agree anything on this. I have adviced him surrogate mother solution also.

Apart from his father there is no-one I can get any kind of information. He lives in metro city it very very hard to find him. Initially 4 days after marriage he shared lot of things with me.

2nd day of marriage his mother had told me "See we know what is my son's income, we never ask him to send any money for us. We even do not ask what he has done about his money. We only ask him record of what he is spending & where he is spending till now. Now onwards you have to take care of all about it. We have taken lot of hardship in our life to reach till this point. You people have to just maintain this, maintain good relationship with people. Some people are working for them for more than 30-40 years now, never break this relationship. My two sons have lot of differences, so they do not interfere in anyone things even though you maintain good relations with elder son & his wife. In future if my hubby fights with him for any reason like property or money just make him cool down. My husband is a very good person & always obeys both of them."

3rd day of marriage he had told me he wants sweet daughter like me, now is not even coming close to me.

@manish:

Sir I have not married for money. Almost 3 years my father tried to do my marriage. Almost more than 250 people saw me. Then one fine day my hubby came to see me with his friend & selected me. I never have invited him. My uncle had put advertise on internet from where he called my father & got address & came to see me.

Anyways I want to tell you, I am not looking for any kind of power or money. I have told my dear husband that we can stay in 10x10 room, have two times food & normal clothes, he listened to me & then he cut the call. He just does not understand life. He is not a ground level person.

But sir if I say my father gave 2 crore of gold, then can court ask from where we got so much money as we had only father's income source & now his pension.

I dont want my mother-in-law & his sister to go to jail. I have not intension like that. But their behaviour is erratic they should learn some lesson not to behave like this with me. God will surely teach them a good lesson. I just need to keep faith & paitance. My hubby will come running to me.

"whatever may be the way I have got.".....means?  You skipped this one in your reply.

Why do you keep saying "I never invited him"? You uncle advertized right?

In any marriage, it's one side which contacts the other. It's not usually that girl "invites" the prospective groom.

No, you can't say you gave 2Cr dowry etc. You need to prove and you'll be in trouble soon.

Best is to give him divorce and part ways easily and peacefully. Else he'll be living with some other girl and you'll be in the temple whole life waiting for him.

@ chadrasekar: Sir what I meant is whatever husband who has so much of mental problem, unadjustable, whatever his health problem maybe or his mother, father or anyone behaving such rudely, giving treatment of dog with their daughter-in-law is just FINE for me. I accept them as it is my fate.

@amit: kindly give some good advice. plz understand we are hindu. There is no another wife in one life of hindu's.

How another girl will get ready to make his life if he is already married ? it is illegal. I know he never cheats. He will never lie any other girl and spoil her life. I am confident he will be loyal to me. In case if I find him doing such thing I will not keep quite. I will have a MASTER degree in next 6 months. I will do whatever possible I can. I will make sure this marriage does not break. I am not married to give divorce.

@amit: Why you think I will be in trouble soon. What kind of trouble you are talking? Please explain.

Please do not advice me about divorce. Please tell some solution so that I can save this marriage. I am striving hard towards my married life. I am putting my best efforts to continue my married life. I am also ready to do anything for it. My husband is not responding as of now. But as per my elders say my husband will respond sooner or later, I must keep faith in god & continue efforts towards it. I have strong feeling even he does not talk with me he is just mine. I want to live with him only.

I think lawyers are not interested to give me advice..

Atleast please tell me how can I avoid divorce.

I am looking forward for 

1. Precautions

2. Avoid divorce in any case. Court should avoid divorce.

Even he stays away 1000 miles away from me still I am his wife and he is my husband for lifetime. If he wants to stay like this I do not have any problem. I will live like this only. It will be my fate.

Why do you want to ruin two family lives?

I am not spoiling any family lives.

See a man is intentionally spoiling a girl's life.

My husband has spoiled my life.

I dont believe in marrying 100 times in one life. A single marriage persists for next 7 births. I want to make life beautifull of mine as well as my husband. In my life I have hardly spend days with him. I have a true love towards him. Our life in one. Our goal is one. Our aim is one. Our dream is one.

If he thinks me & my family cheated him, its his perception. Let him file any cheating case on us & prove it, I am ready to face it.

He is not even giving me chance to explain me or my family that he is in wrong perception. He did not come to diwali or any auspicious festival to our home. He has just got married, left wife in her native home & running away from her for years.

Nobody in this world is fit. If someone goes for full body checkup, there will be definately one disease or more diseases identified. Even though leucoderma is genitical problem I guarantee him that it will not happens to my kids. If at all such problem happens to my kids I am ready to do whatever he will say at that time. Even though wikipedia tells leukoderma is a disease, my family doctor has told me it is not a disease. Even though my grandfather has it or my mother has it, he has also told me it will fade away after generations. So I am sure it will not come to my childrens.

I am ready to forget & forgive he must give a chance to me and make life with me only. 

Its his fate he should accept happily as it is else god will definately see him.

Anyways its also my fate to get such foolish husband. Why do you feel I am ruining anyone's family ?

Can you please tell me what should I do ?

If I divorce him can you tell me what will be my future as I will have to spend my entire life alone ?

@Shreeya,

You wrote so many things here, in my honest opinion if you could write all this in a letter to your husband , you could probably have got something in return which could give direction to the situation.

try to go for MCD and get a lumpsum amount. this will help you in future. Your husband and his family feels cheated - running around courts achieve nothing. If he doesnt want you - so be it. At least get a good amount as settlement and try to eitehr settle down again or with the money try to make future brighter for your sisters.

you can tell people that your husband has some psychiatric issues and the marriage wasnt cosummated or you can even say that he was impotent - anything that makes him look bad and you good. There is no use running after him because leucoderma is something many people cannot accept. You yourself say its genetic - calm down and think objectively. dont destroy your life by running after him or the courts. The courts are the worst curse of a person's life.

My father also came to know about my mother after marriage, so he did accepted fate & made a beautifull life. My aunty husband accepted her as his fate, my grandmother also accepted my grandfather as her fate & made a  beautifull life. No one begs god to give any disease. Its person's fate it comes by his bad luck.

Every one does makeup & wear saree not a b*kni when a guy comes to see her before marriage. If the guy is not able to see me properly its his problem. Now after marriage what is point in blaming me or my parents ? My husband also blames me that my uncle introduced my aunt as my mother & my mother never came in front of him.  When he took me one to one meeting in a room, he should had asked me whether I had any disease or not. I would had definately told him. He had asked me "if I had anything to tell then I should tell him openly" but this does not mean he asked me whether I had any disease or not.

If he is real man then why he does not come and fight with my parents or my maternal uncles or my maternal grandfather on this. He has not guts to even come over my shadow. He feels happy in running away from me. He is rich & earning big salary means he will do anything with me ?

He thinks he will do a call, blame me on call & ask for divorce (which I have recorded over phone) and I am going to accept things as me or my family fault & give him divorce :D

As you people suggest divorce but respected people its not a simple thing, I hope you understand. Neighbours, people in town look & behave differently towards a divorced wife. My mother however she looks people in town give respect to her as she belongs to one daughters of big rich family. She has made a successful life along with a good husband (my father). My grandmother made a succefull life with my grandfather. One another hand my husband heart is very very small. How much he may be rich in terms of money he is begger by heart, also he is not as rich and powerfull as my grandfather. Whether he (or family) wants or not he has to accept me and make life with me only. 

I am sure my husband will come running to me today or tommorrow. My 3rd aunty who has leukoderma, her husband left my aunt for nine years after marriage & later he left his parents and joined my aunt as gharjamai, my husband will also surely come like that. My grandfather and my uncles will make sure my husband makes successful life with me.

@ shreeya,

when i start reading your case i felt that you a such golden wife even nobody had a wife like you.  but personally i feel that some pharases words are coming out very very hardly from you. Its quite natural but please maintain the words.

Please ask your self the below questions.

1. if somebody married you with a particular disesase which cannot be arrested in future. And you are totally unaware of the same, what will your step and decision.

2. Now the world is changed india is going behind US, today marriage tommrrow divorce like. Ys there are lot of cases  there in india. 

3.

Your Dad and uncle taken as their fate. But why does the fellow your hubby wants to take the same way like your father and uncle taken. Nobody can force him. Hence it is clearly showing that your mother and aunt family have cheated your father and uncle, hence the same have repeated in your personal life also…

Don’t feel that your master degree or your education will help your matrimonial life….

Whatever may be don’t try to make or justify that your family people are so fair in your matrimonial life. Don’t get in to argument for your family people. Let your in law house speak about anything like, don’t mind it…. Be calm and speak about you and your future only. try to make understand and your stand abt your life. Try to explain your love, convince him by soft words.   Once again your hubby is unlucky person to lead a good life with you.

People some may know the world some may not.. in this world no body is good in health and wealth. A small heache is also may be a major disease in future.

Before Your hubby might be really unaware of your health condition and he fells that he got cheated. But try to convince him, that’s the good medicine

keep trying to win him,if that is wot u want.

side by side,start taking some holistic treatment for ur problem,instead of trying to look for legal strategies at LCI,for getting him.

if in between u get cured,he may accept u also.that depends on ur luck.u hidden the disease from him.so now u take responsibility to cure it.

if u dont get cured,then all i can say is keep praying for the best thing to happen to u,be it him accepting u,or u finding a better man who knows abt ur health and past,yet he accepts u.

good luck!

meanwhile read this...it will help u get the best solution in life.it really works...ask ranee of this forum who did it,and got result in 1 day only

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Thank you all for your kind support.

My journey of married life had started towards end of married life the moment I got married. I had severe doubt that I will have a married life at all from my childhood & teenage. But still its because of my parents & grandparents it has happened till now & has went into a misery for me & a good man & his family.

I always knew my limits, now other people in society also support him instead of supporting me. I still hope to continue my married life even in so much of misery, but I am sure one day or the other he will slap divorce case on me. If I am lucky enough he will not get divorce in this life at all, I will try my best what-so-ever people or society thinks. I am well prepared my mind for the same.

My only problem is my sisters who have same problem like me. I pray god they also find a better person than my husband who should accept them as their fate.

Hope god will give me enough power to resist him in court when that time will come & court pass judgement in favor of me. I know that intellegent fellow has read my mind, only thing is whether is he intellegent enough that he will not ruin his existing life or not that only time will tell.

We may live whole life apart as his current intention shows but we will be always one till our last breath. No court or no people can tear me apart from him.