RD_Universe (Admin) 29 March 2017

Separation and divorce

Good day All,

I am seeking an advice about separation ( if something like this exists ) and finally divorce. I have been married for more than 8 years and now tolerating this relationship for more than 6 years.

Almost everyday quarrels and fights erupt and this does not seem to be going anywhere. I was bearing all this but then I suspected that my wife was talking to someone here and there and hiding things a lot. I did make a setup and caught chat and facebook posts. This was a complete shock to me and broke me down to my core. Anyway, after a lot of drama, she apologized and more or less I had to forget about this. But everyday fights appeared again and after some time not only her rude and frustrated behavior appeared but she started the affair again but this time she has been quite careful. I am sure you have heard a lot of these similar stories and mine would be also very similar. So really do not want to go into further details.

Now I am at a stage where life is pretty tense for me and I stay frustrated every day. My day to day job is getting severely affected now.

After giving good enough time and consideration to it I have decided that I would like to take a divorce and start the life again as currently, I am losing the motivation to live and do anything. I can not even begin to imagine the face of her and afraid that my mental breakdown could occur anytime.

She has been now living outside in different state for past 6-7 months in PG and God knows where. She has not even given me the address.

I am totally frustrated and passing my days in pain here. Upon asking for a divorce she does not give the clear answer and keeps telling that she will tell in a month and so on. I am pretty sure she is after monetary compensation and this idea pisses me a lot knowing how she cheated, lied and misbehaved to me and still thinks of getting money. I do not want even imagine what she might be doing outside. So I need a careful advice here or over the phone for which I am willing to pay as well.

Now I had a long goal of settling down outside via immigration or through a company and this process is going on now. Since my wife is holding her passport and not willing to give it to me nor I want to take her with me. So I want to know the following.

1. Is there anything I can do, maybe some sort of legal separation or court order so that even if she does not give me her passport then I could still complete visa formalities. I do not want to live with her or take her anyway but since I am married and registered under Hindu Marriage law so I am bound to declare everything to visa authorities which I want to do honestly. So I am wondering if she not willing to cooperate in this then what my solutions are to carry on even without her. Filing for divorce will be time-consuming and this may come in my career's path.

2. She is living outside for 6-7 months, earning around 30K. We have no kids and I do have logs of chats and screenshots of her affair. I wanted to know should I go for a contested divorce or still try to seek a mutual?

3. Finally, any other advice that you could think of and I would really appreciate your help.

I need help as soon as possible at least with this immigration. Divorce can I can file and fight for as long as it is going to take.

Note: I am willing to pay for the advice as well. I just need an honest and reliable advice.

More info: It was a love marriage in temple with certificate, registered a year ago under hindu marraige act. Never lived with parents after mrriage as my family simply could not handle this. My father had, already like 6 years ago declared in Newspaper that I am not his son or bear no relationship anymore ( something like that ).

Kindly assist.

Regards

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10 Replies

Nitish Banka (lawyer) 29 March 2017

WHY IS JUDICIAL SEPARATION BETTER THAN DIVORCE?

Marriage is one of the most important social institutions of human society. Marriages are decided in heaven and arranged on earth. It is a solemn practice which involves two individuals. But sometimes two people fail to coordinate with one another which might lead to adverse circumstances. According to Hindu marriage act 1955 section 13 part 1 either party can apply for a decree of divorce on the grounds specified in the section A wife has additional rights to apply for dissolution of marriage under section 13 part 2.Judicial separation is quite different from divorce. While in divorce all the rights and duties of a couple towards one another come to an end. In judicial separation only cohabitation ends other rights and duties still exist. A couple is free to reside under different roof after judicial separation but still has certain rights and duties.

Now let me tell you why judicial separation is better sometimes?

Sometimes a person needs to give time and space to themselves and their spouse. This can help in self realisation, self analysis and also understand the value of the partner. Inferring and judging the faults of oneself is a big step towards a sunny future. While in judicial separation there is the option to reconcile and restart things , once divorced the whole marriage is over and remarrying is the only option(marriage has to be solemnized again with the same person)

KS Johal 30 March 2017

Which country are you in or which country do you want to migrate to?

RD_Universe (Admin) 30 March 2017

Hello All,

I am in India and planning to move to different country, it has not been decided yet but chances are for AU, CA or some EU country. Not easy for me anyway and I have been trying this for sometime.

When I said "something like that" I meant I am not sure of what would be exact term to say because of my limited knowledge in this matter.

While I understand that separation gives time to think. I have already thought about it and living alone for now 6-7 months and ready to be divorced.

So at present my concern is can this issue come into way and if yes then how to resolve it cause talking is not going to solve this and I need to ensure that this does not come into my career's path.

Thanks for the replies.

Regards.

(Guest)

So what do you want. divorce or separation? or you want to simply abscond?

RD_Universe (Admin) 30 March 2017

Originally posted by : Helping Hand !
	So what do you want. divorce or separation? or you want to simply abscond?

Only if the answer was simple then I would not be here.

I have been absconding from one thing or other in my life but this time I am seeking a solution which could be percieved again as absconding in nature. Though I want to keep this as last resort.

There is no point in ruining two lives or more over some indiferrences in life. And when you put efforts and time for your career and issues like these come in way then I as a person will be open to anything that helps and minimizes the damages to either side. I still want to abide by law but at the same time not hurt future prospects. That is why I am here seeking the advice.

Regards

(Guest)

Originally posted by : RD_Universe
	Originally posted by : Helping Hand ! So what do you want. divorce or separation? or you want to simply abscond? Only if the answer was simple then I would not be here. I have been absconding from one thing or other in my life but this time I am seeking a solution which could be percieved again as absconding in nature. Though I want to keep this as last resort. There is no point in ruining two lives or more over some indiferrences in life. And when you put efforts and time for your career and issues like these come in way then I as a person will be open to anything that helps and minimizes the damages to either side. I still want to abide by law but at the same time not hurt future prospects. That is why I am here seeking the advice. Regards

You sound like Arvind Kejriwal. You want something, your intentions are novel, but you dont know how to do it.

I tell you how to do it.

Take Mutual divorce, 6 months you are free as a falcon. Only thing you arrange hefty alimony and pay wife and co. She okay divorce, you free bird again.

No money, stingy? Roam court 2 decades till they invite you to inagurate a new family court. End of it divorce will be granted or not even God cant tell. But I can tell this much, if wife is uneducated bum you will have to maintain her during pendecy of case and also if divorce granted till you die or she dies. If kids are there out of wedlock that is another headache altogether. This is called constested divorce case. See which suits you best. and decide accordingly.

Dr J C Vashista (Advocate) 31 March 2017

1. First of all you will have to find her whereabouts so that Court notice (on filing/admission of petition for judicial separation or a divorce) can be served upon her. You are to feed the court with correct address of your wife.

2. You have stated that she is working and earning about 30K, do you have evidence and/or prove it? If not, collect and preserve.

3. Before restoring to legal options have you discussed with your wife and her family? Did you try to find out some amicable settlement? If not, avail the opportunity.

4. Feel free to contact.

Best wishes,

Dr. J C Vashista, Advocate, Supreme Court of India

Cell # 9891152939 email: majjagdish@yahoo.com

1 Like

stanley (Freedom) 31 March 2017

I do agree with Vashista . Collect all the information like name of her company , employee code ,into which account her money is being deposited if possible try to get a copy of her payslip . since once you file for Divorce she will file for maintenance . Hence the above documents would be helpful at the time of declining her claim for maintenance .Hence file for Divorce and start a new life once agin now that you are prepared .From your post it seems that you have been seperated for more than 2 years hence desertation is one of the grounds wherre you can file for Divorce and also cruetly if one of the grounds that you can file . The case takes around 3-4 yrs .if you want to get friendly with a another girl than go in for it it will give you some comfort . So that you can get married latter on .

Also be ready for false cases like Dv act and 498 A . Since her advocate would convince her to file the same Meanwhile visit temple church or mosque which so ever is your religon and keep praying . It will help you to concentrate on your job and will bring back stability into your life .

1 Like

A walk alone (-) 31 March 2017

1) you say "I have been married for more than 8 years" and "We have no kids". Why? Is this is main reason of her after marriage affair? Anyways 2) try MCD pay whatever she want and get rid of her.3) if she dnt agree for MCD,collect evidence of her job once you file divorce she will file maintenance case on you. 3)first collect evidence against her then file contested divorce.

1 Like

RD_Universe (Admin) 03 April 2017

Many thanks for your responses.

One thing, so if I have to leave the country because of Job then is it possible ? Because at the time of providing various papers like education documents, job papers, ID/Address proof etc., same will be asked for wife. And if she is not willing to cooperate then is it still possible to go ahead or will there be hurdles ?

Regards.