The Cry of a Mother.
Today, it was a painful evening. Within the Court Premises.
I witnessed a mother of my old-acquaintance, in tears and her question to me, to which I could only provide Silence as the answer.
In hindi, was her question
" KYA KAROON AGAR MERA BETA ANDHAR SE MAR GAYA THO ? "
( What do I do, if my son, dies from within ? ) ( If his mind collapses and dies )
It was one of those rare ocassions when the thought crossed my mind
" WHY DO WOMEN MARRY, IF THEY CANNOT BLEND WITH HUSBAND AND HIS FAMILY ? SUCH WOMEN MIGHT AS WELL REMAIN UNMARRIED SPINSTERS AND CARE FOR THEIR PARENTS, INSTEAD OF GETTING PROMOTED TO THE STATUS OF WIFE AND MOTHER-HOOD.
THE WOMEN WHOSE UNDERSTANDING OF MATRIMONIAL LIFE, IS FAR FETCHED FROM REALITY, WOULD DO GOOD TO MEN AND SOCIETY IF THEY REMAIN UNMARRIED.
WHY ENTER THE LIFE OF A MAN AND ROCK HIS LIFE-BOAT ON THE ROUGH WEATHERS ON THE OCEAN OF LIFE ? "
It was his second marriage. His first marriage, during his stint in the USofA, had ended in a mutual consent divorce, around 13 years ago.
Without naming him, let me say he was one Mr.Vikram.
I had received a call from him more than a month ago, saying his wife had both the kids with her and is now at her father's place and has filed a 498A, 506 and DV against him.
He is a highly successful businessman and had married his own employee. It was a love marriage and they had two wonderful sons.
But that was the past.
His father-in-law, a former wrestling champion and a Chemist by Profession, had started stationing himself at his son-in-law's newly built house worth more than a few crores of rupees.
He would start poking his nose into the wear and tear of the matrimonial life of his daughter and son-in-law.
In order to keep him pleased and at a safe, healthy and dignified distance, the son-in-law had gifted father-in-law, a vehicle, a refridgerator, a washing machine and what not ?
But the father-in-law never seemed to tire of meddling with his daughter's matrimonial life.
Mother-in-law ( The wrestling champion's wife ) was no less.
She would frequently comment about both grand-sons ( Aged around 7 / 8 yrs ) drinking Two Litres of Milk each, every single day in addition to pampered and rich life-style.
With the wife, frequently influenced and brain-washed by her parents, everything started becoming an issue between the couple.
From shoes to socks, From food to family-outing, …etc etc etc it was a daily-fight-over any and all issues as the family scenario. Every fight compounded and blown out of proportion by dear father-in-law who probably felt his daughter's family was his empire.
ONE DAY, IT EXPLODED.
MEN ARE EXTREMELY PATIENT, BUT FOR HOW LONG ?
WHEN MEN BURST, THEY DO NOT JUST BURST. THEY EXPLODE.
A MAN's ANGER IS NOT TO BE TREATED LIGHTLY.
THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT my businessman acquaintance did.
During one such skirmish, the former wrestling champion did the blunder of intimidating his son-in-law by saying
" I WILL BREAK YOUR LEGS IF YOU FIGHT WITH MY DAUGHTER "
That sealed matters. The son-in-law and his parents promptly asked his father-in-law to leave, that very instant.
The wife complicated matters saying “ If my father has to leave, I too shall leave and shall not return unless and until you and your parents fall at each of our feet and apologize and produce such an apology in writing too “
Now that was the end of any peaceful resolution. He asked her too, to leave.
I asked him why he could not have just left the house and returned after some time with his anger subsided, instead of retorting on the spot.
His answer was too perfect for me to utter a word more.
Here was his response in Hindi and English.
" DEKHO, MERAE HEE GHAR MAE MUJH PE HUKUM CHALAANAE WAALA JO BHI HO, USKO WAHAAN SE NIKAALDHENAA MERA FARZ BANTHAA HAI.
( Whoever it might be, trying to dominate me in my own house, that person needs to be removed from that place and such a removal is my duty ) ( The remaining conversation in English is as mentioned below ).
THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE MAN OF THE HOUSE AND AS THE HEAD OF MY FAMILY, I AM THE MAN OF THE HOUSE AND NOBODY ELSE.
THAT IS WHY IT IS CALLED A MARRIAGE BETWEEN A MAN AND A WOMAN.
I have married that woman and neither her father nor her brother.
In one family, there can be only one head of the family and that is the Man of that house.
Mujhse pehalae merae father, thae Man of the House and Family Head.
Now, In my family,I am the head and I am the Man.
BUS. BAATH KATHAM. "
HE HAD HIT THE NAIL ON THE HEAD.
Point Made.
There can be only ONE Man of the House who is also the Head of the Family.
That was a strong hard hitting statement that every MAN will agree to.
So, I kept quiet since I too agreed with his view-point about the MAN OF THE HOUSE.
Now, the wrestler father-in-law left, but along with his daughter and grand-sons.
He got in touch with his former school-mate, a reputed advocate retired-from-practise and the ball got rolling.
FIRs filed and Arrest pending.
For some time, he was very tensed. He was more concerned about his aged parents and his brother's children.
One of his brother had expired a few months ago, leaving behind his children and yet another brother had settled down abroad.
The wife had named his sister, a high ranking official at Delhi and she had to come down as well.
She was working out the modalities. The entire family was tensed.
So, in the mean-time, I had asked him to leave the city first, head to an ashram for some quiet time, for the much-needed peace of mind and family time in peace, around 200 Kms from Bangalore, in another state. He did that and returned along with his advocate towards the legal formalities for the Anticipatory Bail.
With the AB obtained, he did what any Man would do. " Just move away from the others, for some time, in SILENCE. "
That was when I met his family at the court and heard his mother cry those lines
" KYA KAROON AGAR MERA BETA ANDHAR SE MAR GAYA THO ? "
( What do I do, if my son, dies from within ? ) ( If his mind collapses and dies )
I told them to remain brave and it is now a ball set rolling not only in the court, but in TIME as well.
So, I advised them on the same lines that I have done earlier on LCI and told him that his confidence and mental balance is what decides the fate of his family.
I provided some strategic inputs in his particular case, especially some tips to get his father-in-law rightfully nailed by law and thereby keeping his wrestler instincts in check.
Matrimonial Life is not a wrestling ground to break the legs of son-in-law.
We discussed about the twist and turn the case might take, his children, their education, the bills,…etc.
Before parting, I told him to maintain as normal a life as possible since life and business cannot come to a halt due to a family matter.
As time progresses, every problem will get solved.
I assured him and thus and returned. But my mind was occupied with the cry of that mother
" KYA KAROON AGAR MERA BETA ANDHAR SE MAR GAYA THO ? "
( What do I do, if my son, dies from within ? ) ( If his mind collapses and dies )
