Hi everybody, i got married 2.5 years back. Girl is going to become doctrate (Phd) very soon. She lives with her parents since after marriage as she is doing doctorate from the same city. The issue is that my wife is hyper towards me and my family. I sometimes think this hyper-ness is fake and selective, otherwise she would have abused her thesis guide too. Although we stayed together not much, but during these short stays she always complained me about the jewellary that we gave her in marriage and other things like sarees etc. She says that all those items from our side were cheap and that insulted her family. Another major reason she often quote about her dissatisfaction is my meagerness (kanjoosi). Although i took her to a foreign trip during our honeymoon. i gifted her a jewellary set of gold on her first bday, A tablet. lots of clothes, etc. but she is still unsatisfied. what she demands is my ATM and says that her brother has given one ATM to her sisater -in-law so that she can spend at her will. During these arguments, she often threatened me of commiting suicide and writing my and my family members' name in the suicide letter. She often sometimes threatened me to change my habits, otherwise , she will drag me and my family to court and will force us to become begger of the streets. I tolerated her abusiveness, as i know she is a guest of few days only and then she will leave back ot her parents home and when we will be living together then every thing will change. But, the last time i went to her parent's place to meet her as she was sick, i found a chat on her mobile phone with her colleague to whom i had told her not to talk anymore as he had earlier behaved indecently with her. She, instead of saying sorry, demanded my mobile to check if i had any indecent conversations. That raged me and i complained about this to her parents and brother. They, instead, blame me of being narrow-minded, belonging to a valueless family, and threatened that "in the fight of a man and a women, it is woman who wins as the system, police and judiciary is in favor of women" Her brother also threatened me in the words: " you and your near and dear ones will all face the music" They asked me whether i want to live with her or not. At that time i was in panic and was mum all the time, her brother, father and mother abused me and my family. But now, i believe i was wrong and must retaliated to them, no matter what. Since then i do not talk to my wife, nor to her any family members. In the mean time, my wife called my mother and told her to get ready for divorce notice from her side. But that happened a month earlier. No notice has come.
Few points:
(1) I never beat her and never said a bad word to her(although she always abused and once beat me)
(2) She is intelligent and equally qualified as i am. (possess lots of degrees, and taught as a lecturer in an engineering college for 1 or 1.5 years)
(3) After i stopped picking her phone, her father has approached my father to do something to patch-up.
(4) I have a gut feeling that all this drama was fake and her objective is to make me her slave.
(5) I am not ready to kneel before her as a slave (although i could propose her that way)
(6) we didn't demand any dowry during marriage.
(7) They might have an opinion that we are timid and feared of going to court and police.
(8) we don't have any issue.
(9) I am not happy with her.
(10) All i want is clean separation, ofcourse, without or minimum maintenance.
(11) if not divorce, i want to live with harmony, peace, happiness, and independance. No abbusiveness from her.
Please suggest some precautions, advices, strategies.
A Victim Husband
