What should i do??

Either have the guts to marry or forget about it.

Regards,

Shonee Kapoor

harassed.by.498a@gmail.com

in this way, i vl hurt my family... similarly i dnt wanna b a loser just leaving that girl....

i m in sheer trouble... i m frm Haryana that's y the prblm arises

From Indias National Crime database (https://ncrb.nic.in/ ) when I checked last( 2010 Stats), State of Haryana is #1 in dowry, marriage related deaths. 

Personally, I have been outside India for several years now but have travelled to every State in India and have some close friends in Haryana ( Jaats ). It is my personal observation that in State of Haryana, matters of family name, caste is held in high esteem and people are willing to give up their lives in the name of protecting and preserving family pride. 

What do you see in common in the two replies ? 

@Shonne > Either have the guts to marry or forget about it

@Ashish > Muster the courage to marry against the wishes of your family 

Do you have these traits ? 

If you sense that the mis-match of caste is going to be a issue and the girls family is likely to retaliate, you are not going to be a loser by walking away from this relationship but would have saved your own life and the girls. 

If you have the education and proffessional standing like good job, perks that can potentially win the respect of the girls family, then take slow steps and use a third party to respectfully approach the other party like is done in Indian culture. Eloping business may not fly.

The following scenarious could develop - anticipate and act accordingly. A peice of paper from the District court would not prevent the enraged and potentially less educated relatives of yours or hers. 

1. You marry her and live in the same town where you are currently staying.

- This could threaten your life or her life. Are you prepared to protect yourself and her ? Reiterate - peice of court paper is not protection.

2. You marry her and move out of town.  Following your departure, the two families enagage in  war.

-Your parents or her parents are targetted in the name of family pride. Are you or your wife prepared for this situation. Will you get attached to your parents and dump your wife should something happen to your parents, likewise, will your wife dump you and run back to her parents ? 

Be a MAN and stand up for your love, the state would protect you - you have to take a call now. Supreme Court has said that inter-caste/inter-religious marriages are good for the fraternity of the country. You can get an order as aforesaid giving you protection from any harm. 

I m a in love wid that girl bt my family needs me more than her... I m having my elder sister who is mentally handicapped and can't live of his own...  I hav to take care of her throughout my life...

if i dnt marry wid that girl then people will say that i m nt having guts bt if i marry her people vl say i m selfish... i m a strubborn kind of guy... Frm birth if i had to get something i got it in any case.... bt this time i hav to give up, give up for my family....

in this way, I vl b a good son... Might be i won't b a good lover....

thank uU all for ur precious advices....