Why men should refuse to marry?

Rajesh,

Sex outside marriage can be very risky for the man as the woman may file a rape case against him. What can the man do to protect himself?

Absolutely Kavi. Unless men unite, there is no hope. However, I want to point out certain things. 1. History is the story of the victor. The 2000 year domination of men is a feminist theory and there is no evidence. It could be much less than this. 2. Nobody has asked the simple question as to what led to such domination. Everybody is busy bashing men, blaming them for all the ills and hailing women as Goddesses. A simple perusal of whats happening today would lead anybody to understand that in the past, women were empowered and they dominated the men. That led to men's groups and ultimately circumstances led to domination by men. So, history is repeating itself except that its too fast. Its fast-forward now. And most men are not even aware of this dominaton let alone accepting it. The feminists have fooled to men by marketing the concept of female victimhood with false and exaggerated statistics, and by taking the advantage of the confusion between tradition and modernity.

Ritu,

Marriage or no marriage, the laws need to be changed as they are against the constitution. Secondly, s*x without marriage can be dangerous to men as they are vulnerable to be victims of the rape law which any woman can file anytime, anywhere and the system treats the man as a rapist and asks him to prove his innocence. What is the solution for this? Can we all turn gays?

Ritu,

Another point. If women can live without men, why do we need the institution of marriage? We can ban marriages altogether and allow free s*x etc. legally. Marriage system was more for women and it is more a women-centric institution.

I completely agree with Mr. Rajesh.     These laws (498-A & DV ACT) are grossly misused and need to be amended (if not abolished).   

Mr. Rajesh I thank you very much for your article.  I am married, and has not demanded any dowry  in fact her parents given the articles of their own despite of my refusal to take the same. But inspite of my good intensions I was thereatned  with above laws.  Few months back my wife deserted me and went to her maternal home with all jewellery & my baby at the time she told me she is going to meet her mom (as after delivery of baby going to maternal home is a custom in their family hence she went  in that pretext) .  Thereafter she refused to come back,  but few days  later  I was  threatned by them that if i do not come to take her back they will file false cases againt me and will ruin my carrier. My lawyer advised me to file case under Restitution of Conjugal Rights but also added that she still can file case of dowry or domestic violence.  The biggest mistake was that I did not file the case and went there to take her back. They insulted me & threatned me so much so that whenever i think of insult at my inlaws hand I think of committing sucide. Now after coming back at my home she (my wife) had tortured my mom so much so that she had left the home. Now i don't know what to do.   If i file complaint with police, my lawyer says my wife may get arrested and may  be jailed alongwith the child which is again a troublesome thing.  Now again she wants to go to her maternal home and this time I do not want to face the similar humilation and insult at her maternal home. My lawyer says filing a case of RCR is not viable at this time as the same may back fire me.  Hence I left with no option but to  divore her since there is no option (either go to her maternal home and face the insult & humilation or divore her)  Now I am willing to give her the meher due to her (as settled in our marriage contract i.e. meher - e - fatima) alongwith her stridhan. I am also willing to per her and my son the maintenance.  But the problem is If she still files (after divore)  false cases of dowry of DV Act or any other case, I will definetly left with no option but to commit sucide. I do not what to do...

I completely agree with Mr Rajesh men should not marry for his own good ! 

As these gender biased laws can ruin a man financially and emotionally.

Dear Mr. Sameer

What has happened with you..is really sad.

But, at the same time, there are various remedies that law provides us.

In case of men, I agree, that there are such provisions provided in the law that look like favoring women, but we have to keep in mind that law is not biased.

The law is above any man or a woman, and at the same time, it is made by we..the people..Hence law is a set of generally accepted structure of rules.

Law, as such doesn’t secure one person or a two..but provides a safeguard to the rights of people as a whole.

We should also not forget the systems like satipratha/bal vivah that were abolished by law itself, and not exercised by any group of men or women,…though the same was condemned at large.

Hence, when a problem can not be solved by any single person/ group or a community of persons, then, in order to make a rule enforceable, we require law.

We should not forget that the list of crimes committed against women and children are more than men. Even when God has made women physically weaker than men.

To safeguard the interests of the all the women in the society (that includes men’s mothers, men’s sisters, men’s daughters and other female relative of men) these rules were devised.

Why do we stay silent when newly wed daughters are burnt for dowry.. because our rights are not affected…??

Why do we stay silent when we read rape and s*xual abuses on women…because those were not our daughters/sisters/mothers of ours…??

In case, the crime is committed against our women (in our relations), we praise the law and when we become the opposite party, we find them useless.

Hence, law is required no matter from which party’s view you see it.

Law has an eagle’s view on the rights of the people. Hence, we are not able to see the overall effect of the same. (As in some cases it may look like biased to us)

Hence, may I request all to think of those cases/ women who actually need these laws against dowry.

At the same time, I do not deny the fact that there may be misuse of these laws too…but that’s an altogether different side of the story that law has to find out.

Last, but not the least, may I request all that this is lawyers club…who are expected to respect the law and secure it for the needy too.

Hence, I request you all to remember the eternal concept…"SATYAMEV JAYATE"...and the truth will take care of itself....

Thanks

Pooja

Pooja, Were these stupid, unconstitutional laws made by we the people? How? Was there a discussion about it in the society? Was there a notification that was published in all leading newspapers? Definately not. It took parliament 5 minutes to pass the DV act. There was no discussion. The DV act and section 498A are unconstitutional. They violate fundamental rights of men, women and children. They presume that a man is always guilty and a woman is always fair. How can you defend such a law? The need for the law exists but the law is unfair and biased. A simple reading of the Dv act and section 498A is enough for an educated person to understand the bias in the law. Yes, laws are needed to protect women. But what about protecting men?? What about the fundamental rights to equality of men? This clearly shows that women do not want equality. They want female domination and keep all the men hen-pecked. I condemn this deceit and sophistication. Please do not tell me that the laws are not biased. It is like saying that the Sun is not hot. Regarding crimes against women, there is nothing special about it. Crimes against men is almost 3 times more than crimes against women. But women get all the attention. If a lady is assaulted at night, it gets media headlines. While the fact is that everyday men are getting assaulted but it does not even get reported. Regarding your allegation that people are silent about dowry problem, that is not true. Isn't that the reason why so many laws have come about?? That way, why are people silent when men are abused by women? Domestic violence is a crime that women also equally commit on men. But nobody wants to take it seriously. It is the emotional and mental torture of men. Yes, we now require and demand laws to protect men and their families from women. We also demand misuse clause in the DV act and IPC 498A.

Pooja, DV act and IPC 498A besides all other women-centric laws are a violation of the constitution, violation of human rights and all fundamental legal practices that are assumed to be a part of any civilized society. A basic tenet of a law in a civilized world is to hold an accused innocent until proven guilty. The basic purpose of the law is to protect the innocent and punish the guilty. There can be no two doubts about this and these laws need to be amended to protect the interests and rights of men. Indeed, India cannot be called a civilized society with these draconian laws which are a trade mark of dictatorial regimes such as that of Saddam Hussein's Iraq, and Adolf Hitler's Germany. These laws are nothing but Talibanism in reverse!

Sameer, I am sorry to know this. There is an organisation called Save Indian Family Foundation. It is a self-help group of male victims and their female family members of these stupid laws. You can contact them: www.saveindianfamily.org, www.savefamily.org, www.mynation.net, www.498a.org

Well Pooja, People can be law abiding even when they do not marry.People can be law abiding even when they criticise an unjust law,  they are law abiding when they unite together to demand abolition of unjust laws. That is what men are doing.

In fact deliberate violation of law, and suffering puishment for that is also being law abiding. That is called "civil disobedience" and it was widely used by Gandhi Jee during independence movement and various other political leaders during emergency.

Believe me Pooja, these laws are not going to survive long. The only fear I have that every delay in making the necessary changes in these laws will make more and more men, "anti- women".

The point is that women are trying all possible ways to justify harassment and abuse of men. Imagine if this was in reverse. Would women justify it with similar logic? Obviously, they want these laws to exist as their intention is not equality but female domination.

Supreme Court judge has affirmed that men are slaves of wife in marriage. If men will refuse to obey the dictates of their wife, they have to suffer consequences.

A vacation bench of justices Markandeya Katju and Deepak Verma observed, "Bibi joh boltee hai woh sunno (listen to whatever your wife says), as otherwise it could land you in trouble. Because if you do not listen to her, you will suffer the consequences."
 

Men be aware. It is safer to refuse to marry.

SAY NO TO MARRIAGE

Sec 498A of IPC is only meant for the protection of women and for the eradication of the torture against women, evil is coming from ancient times. at the same times the women are worshipped since ancient times. among the women, our mother, sister, daughters also there. when Sec 498A is against them is good, why it is not good against wife?

so it is only the misuse which can be minimised or eliminated by suitable legislation or supreme court rulings. 

sec 498A is useful and helpful, in case of our mother, sister and daughter; why not it for wife?

Three things. Who told you that section 498A is good for sisters, daughters and mothers??? More than 1.3 Lakh women (Sisters, mothers and daughters) have been arrested under this section. It is more than the number of women arrested by the British govt. in India. Secondly, even if we assume that IPC 498A is good for women, what about protection of men? Evil knows no gender!

What about men's rights in a marriage? Now why is IPC 498A and DV act is bad? 1. It is unconstitutional as it violates equality of gender and places men inferior to women. 2. It violates all human rights of the man and treats him guilty until proven innocent. This is against basic legal ethics in a civilized world! 3. These two laws lack any balance. There is also no clause to punish misusers. In effect, the law encourages women to misuse it. These laws are designed to enslave the men. Its time for men to fight back feminism! For those innocent men who have been falsely implicated, I advice you to take the laws into your own hands. A law that violates the constitution itself cannot have any validity and sacredness. Kill your wife and then kill yourself. I regret to say this. But to save yourself and your family from disaster, there is no other way. I salute Amit Budhiraja, the young man from Infosys who did this to save himself and his family from criminal charges and dishonour. His parents, and his relatives should be grateful to him for all this.