Subhomoy Das (Retail Manager) 18 November 2011

Wife

MY WIFE LEFT MY HOUSE 14 MONTHS BACK IN PREGNANT CONDITIONS TO HER PARENTS HOUSE. SHE DELIVERED A BABY BOY 6 MONTHS BACK. WHEN SHE WAS PREGNANT SHE JOINED A GOVT SCHOOL SERVICE NEAR HER PARENTS HOUSE WITHOUT INFORMING AND DISCUSSING WITH ME AND MY PARENTS. THE SCHOOL IS A RESIDENTIAL SCHOOL AND SHE STAYS AT THE HOSTEL WITH THE BABY. THE DISTANCE BETWEEN HER SCHOOL AND HER PARENTS HOUSE IS 8 KMS. THE DISTANCE BETWEEN MY HOUSE AND HER PARENTS HOUSE IS 380 KMS AND IN DIFFERENT STATE. SHE WAS WORKING IN THE SAME SCHOOL BEFORE HER MARRIAGE AND SHE WAS STAYING AT THE HOSTEL THEN ALSO. OUR MARRIAGE WAS AN ARRANGE MARRIAGE AND IT WAS MUTUALLY DECIDED HER AND HER PARENTS THAT SHE WILL QUIT HER JOB AFTER MARRIAGE. SHE WAS AT OUR HOME FOR 8 MONTHS. DURING THIS TIME SHE CONCIEVED. I DONT KNOW WHETHER SHE HAD ACTUALLY RESIGNED FROM HER SERVICE OR NOT OR JUST SHE HAD TAKEN UNPAID LEAVE. MY MISTAKE I BELIEVED HER THAT TIME SINCE SHE IS MY WIFE. I WANTED MY WIFE TO BE A HOUSEWIFE. WHICH SHE AGREED THAT TIME. BUT STILL IF SHE WANTS TO DO SERVICE I HAD NO PROBLEM BUT SHE HAVE TO WORK HERE AT MY PLACE. I REPEATEDLY ASKED HER TO RETURN BUT SHE IS ADAMANT NOT TO RETURN. SHE AND HER PARENTS ARE TELLING THAT SHE WILL NEVER QUIT HER JOB. SHE WILL STAY AT THE SCHOOL HOSTEL WITH THE BABY. I HAVE TO PERFOM MY DUTIES AS A HUSBAND AND AS A FATHER FROM MY PLACE. IF SHE WISHES SHE WILL VISIT MY HOUSE FOR 7/8 DAYS IN 6 MONTHS INTERVAL. SHE IS NOT READY TO GIVE ME DIVORCE.MY WIFE LEFT MY HOUSE 14 MONTHS BACK IN PREGNANT CONDITIONS TO HER PARENTS HOUSE. SHE DELIVERED A BABY BOY 6 MONTHS BACK. WHEN SHE WAS PREGNANT SHE JOINED A GOVT SCHOOL SERVICE NEAR HER PARENTS HOUSE WITHOUT INFORMING AND DISCUSSING WITH ME AND MY PARENTS. THE SCHOOL IS A RESIDENTIAL SCHOOL AND SHE STAYS AT THE HOSTEL WITH THE BABY. THE DISTANCE BETWEEN HER SCHOOL AND HER PARENTS HOUSE IS 8 KMS. THE DISTANCE BETWEEN MY HOUSE AND HER PARENTS HOUSE IS 380 KMS AND IN DIFFERENT STATE. SHE WAS WORKING IN THE SAME SCHOOL BEFORE HER MARRIAGE AND SHE WAS STAYING AT THE HOSTEL THEN ALSO. OUR MARRIAGE WAS AN ARRANGE MARRIAGE AND IT WAS MUTUALLY DECIDED HER AND HER PARENTS THAT SHE WILL QUIT HER JOB AFTER MARRIAGE. SHE WAS AT OUR HOME FOR 8 MONTHS. DURING THIS TIME SHE CONCIEVED. I DONT KNOW WHETHER SHE HAD ACTUALLY RESIGNED FROM HER SERVICE OR NOT OR JUST SHE HAD TAKEN UNPAID LEAVE. MY MISTAKE I BELIEVED HER THAT TIME SINCE SHE IS MY WIFE. I WANTED MY WIFE TO BE A HOUSEWIFE. WHICH SHE AGREED THAT TIME. BUT STILL IF SHE WANTS TO DO SERVICE I HAD NO PROBLEM BUT SHE HAVE TO WORK HERE AT MY PLACE. I REPEATEDLY ASKED HER TO RETURN BUT SHE IS ADAMANT NOT TO RETURN. SHE AND HER PARENTS ARE TELLING THAT SHE WILL NEVER QUIT HER JOB. SHE WILL STAY AT THE SCHOOL HOSTEL WITH THE BABY. I HAVE TO PERFOM MY DUTIES AS A HUSBAND AND AS A FATHER FROM MY PLACE. IF SHE WISHES SHE WILL VISIT MY HOUSE FOR 7/8 DAYS IN 6 MONTHS INTERVAL. SHE IS NOT READY TO GIVE ME DIVORCE.

MY QUESTION :

1. SHE HAVE TAKEN THIS DECISION ON HER OWN WHICH IS SUPPORTED BY HER PARENTS. SHE DIDNT FIND IT NECESSARY TO DISCUSS WITH ME. UNDER THESE CIRCUMSTANCES WHAT SHALL I DO?

3. I`M MISSING MY BABY AND HE IS MISSING ME TOOO. ALL HER BELONGINGS ARE HERE. SHE JUST USING ME A SHOWPIECE SO THAT SHE WANTED TO SHOW THE WORLD THAT SHE IS MARRIED AND SHE GOT A HUSBAND. BUT PRACTICALLY SHE IS NOT PERFORMING ANY DUTIES TOWARDS ME AND HER MATRIMONIAL HOME. FEW MONTHS BACK MY FATHER PASSED AWAY. SHE NEVER VISITED. I AND MY MOTHER WERE MENTALLY DOWN. AT THAT TIME HER SUPPORT WAS MOST NECESSARY FOR ME. BUT SHE WAS NOT THERE BY MY SIDE. SHE WILL ALSO NOT GIVE DIVORCE TO ME.

4. I`M TIRED AND PISSED OFF NOW. I HAVE TRY MY BEST TO CONVINCE HER. BUT SHE IS ADAMANT THAT SHE WILL NOT QUIT HER JOB. SHE WILL COME TO MY HOUSE FOR 7/8 DAYS IN 6 MONTHS TIME (DEPENDS UPON HER LEAVE). SHE WILL VISIT FOR 7/8 DAYS AS IF SHE IS A GUEST AND NOT A FAMILY MEMBER. MEANS ALL TOTAL SHE WILL STAY FOR 15-20 DAYS APPROX IN A YEAR TO MY HOUSE. HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE.

5. WHAT SHALL I DO NOW. SHALL I FILE FOR RCR OR SHALL I FILE DIRECTLY FOR DIVORCE. LEGALLY I CANT STOP ANYONE FROM WORKING. BUT HERE THE MATRIMONIAL IS NOT TAKING PLACE AND I`M ALSO DENIED OF MY CONJUGAL RIGHTS. AS SHE IS WORKING IN A GOVT SCHOOL DRAWING Rs. 15000 SALARY P.M. PLUS FOODING AND LODGING , AM I LIABLE TO PAY MAINTENANCE TO HER. I WONT MIND PAYING MAINTENANCE FOR THE BABY. EVEN I`M READY TO PAY LUMPSUM BUT I WANT DIVORCE AS I`M MENTALLY SHATTERD PERSON AND ITS VIRTUALLY NOT POSSIBLE FOR ME TO LIVE WITH HER EVEN SHE CHANGES HER MIND AND RETURN TO MY HOUSE. I WANT DIVORCE WHICH SHE IS NOT READY TO GIVE ME AND CHALLENGES ME HOW I GET DIVORCE ORDER FROM COURT SHE WILL SEE. SHE EVEN WANTED TO CHALLENGE THE JUDGE IF THE MATTERS GOES TO THE COURT. SHE IS THREATENING ME WHY I SPENT Rs. 30000 FOR MY MOTHER EYE CATARACT SURGERY. I HAVE SPENT MY EARNINGS ON TO MY MOTHER SURGERY BECAUSE SHE IS MOTHER WHO HAVE BROUGHT ME UP WITH EXTREME SACRIFICES. ITS MY MORAL DUTY TO LOOK AFTER MY OLD SICK WIDOW MOTHER, AS WELL AS MY WIFE AND SON. BUT FOR THAT MY WIFE AND SON SHOULD STAY WITH ME AND NOT AT HER PARENTS HOUSE AT HER OWN WISH. BASICALLY SHE IS DUMPING HER DECISIONS FORCIBLY ON TO ME.

6. DOES THE COURT CAN FORCE ME TO STAY WITH HER IRRESPECTIVE WHETHER DIVORCE DECREE ORDER IS PASSED OR NOT.

PLEASE ADVICE.........

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3 Replies

(Guest)

Find out if she's involved some guy.

Tajobsindia (Senior Partner ) 18 November 2011

First and foremost I fail to understand how many times you are going to put same set of questions before us in different threads and get replies on same set of que. ? Secondly kindly use sentence case and donot use bold fonts while asking as it seems you are shouting !

However another attempt is being made to answer your set of questions which is before us;

1. SHE HAVE TAKEN THIS DECISION ON HER OWN WHICH IS SUPPORTED BY HER PARENTS. SHE DIDNT FIND IT NECESSARY TO DISCUSS WITH ME. UNDER THESE CIRCUMSTANCES WHAT SHALL I DO?
Take: You are required to file S. 9 RCR in family court or ordinary civil Court.

2. SHE IS TELLING THAT IF SHE DOESNT WORK THEN IT WILL BE AN INJUSTICE TO HER QUALIFICATIONS. BUT DOES SHE ME MAKING ANY JUSTICE TO HER MARRIAGE BY STAYING THERE. I HAVE NO PROBLEM FOR HER TO WORK . BUT WHY AT HER PARENTS PLACE. WHY NOT AT MY PLACE. THIS IS AN ACT OF CHEATING AS THEY DIDNT KEPT THEIR WORDS

Take: Adjustments / sacrifice required by both sides and law does not bind either or both in this que. However wife is given more liberty to persue her carre option over husband if same que. is put under challenge.

3. I`M MISSING MY BABY AND HE IS MISSING ME TOOO. ALL HER BELONGINGS ARE HERE. SHE JUST USING ME A SHOWPIECE SO THAT SHE WANTED TO SHOW THE WORLD THAT SHE IS MARRIED AND SHE GOT A HUSBAND. BUT PRACTICALLY SHE IS NOT PERFORMING ANY DUTIES TOWARDS ME AND HER MATRIMONIAL HOME. FEW MONTHS BACK MY FATHER PASSED AWAY. SHE NEVER VISITED. I AND MY MOTHER WERE MENTALLY DOWN. AT THAT TIME HER SUPPORT WAS MOST NECESSARY FOR ME. BUT SHE WAS NOT THERE BY MY SIDE. SHE WILL ALSO NOT GIVE DIVORCE TO ME.
Take: Some couples adjust yet some couples don’t want to do minor adjustments / sacrifices in matrimony which ends up in temparamental difference clause at the end when cases are filed against each other. However ignoring this comment you are supposed to file simple S. 12 GWA and or S. 26 HMA stand-alone application before Family Court or Guardianship Court of child Jurisdiction if you claim you and child missing each other to get relief of visitation meantime. If you have informed her / your in laws about FIL passing away and yet she did not attend the ceremony nor any response elicited then this is one of the ‘grounds of cruelty” using it Divorce suit can be instituted to end marital relationship.

4. I`M TIRED AND PISSED OFF NOW. I HAVE TRY MY BEST TO CONVINCE HER. BUT SHE IS ADAMANT THAT SHE WILL NOT QUIT HER JOB. SHE WILL COME TO MY HOUSE FOR 7/8 DAYS IN 6 MONTHS TIME (DEPENDS UPON HER LEAVE). SHE WILL VISIT FOR 7/8 DAYS AS IF SHE IS A GUEST AND NOT A FAMILY MEMBER. MEANS ALL TOTAL SHE WILL STAY FOR 15-20 DAYS APPROX IN A YEAR TO MY HOUSE. HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE.
Take: Your solution under this que. rests in filing S. 9 RCR suit for clarity at the end of the contest suit.

5. WHAT SHALL I DO NOW. SHALL I FILE FOR RCR OR SHALL I FILE DIRECTLY FOR DIVORCE. LEGALLY I CANT STOP ANYONE FROM WORKING. BUT HERE THE MATRIMONIAL IS NOT TAKING PLACE AND I`M ALSO DENIED OF MY CONJUGAL RIGHTS. AS SHE IS WORKING IN A GOVT SCHOOL DRAWING Rs. 15000 SALARY P.M. PLUS FOODING AND LODGING , AM I LIABLE TO PAY MAINTENANCE TO HER. I WONT MIND PAYING MAINTENANCE FOR THE BABY. EVEN I`M READY TO PAY LUMPSUM BUT I WANT DIVORCE AS I`M MENTALLY SHATTERD PERSON AND ITS VIRTUALLY NOT POSSIBLE FOR ME TO LIVE WITH HER EVEN SHE CHANGES HER MIND AND RETURN TO MY HOUSE. I WANT DIVORCE WHICH SHE IS NOT READY TO GIVE ME AND CHALLENGES ME HOW I GET DIVORCE ORDER FROM COURT SHE WILL SEE. SHE EVEN WANTED TO CHALLENGE THE JUDGE IF THE MATTERS GOES TO THE COURT. SHE IS THREATENING ME WHY I SPENT Rs. 30000 FOR MY MOTHER EYE CATARACT SURGERY. I HAVE SPENT MY EARNINGS ON TO MY MOTHER SURGERY BECAUSE SHE IS MOTHER WHO HAVE BROUGHT ME UP WITH EXTREME SACRIFICES. ITS MY MORAL DUTY TO LOOK AFTER MY OLD SICK WIDOW MOTHER, AS WELL AS MY WIFE AND SON. BUT FOR THAT MY WIFE AND SON SHOULD STAY WITH ME AND NOT AT HER PARENTS HOUSE AT HER OWN WISH. BASICALLY SHE IS DUMPING HER DECISIONS FORCIBLY ON TO ME.
Take: Your best remedy is in filing for divorce using one of the above mentioned cruelty grounds and stating these other facts in fairer pleadings format along with filing for cutody and or visitation or for both petitions in civil or family Court. Remember if custody / visitation suit filed then it should be filed in child’s ordinary residence place not yours. Divorce case can be filed in your jurisdiction which may get transferred later which is not immediate concern right now of yours I suppose. Last advise under this que. is to sit with a competent family law adv. and state facts of your failed marriage and seek his wisdom as in chamber discussion and without wasting much time act upon them if all other social mediation avenues failed with some reasonable material evidences collected on the go of such reconciliation efforts from your side. Regarding surgery / looking after aged parents etc. you have ‘duties’ towards wife, child then mother in that sequence once married then seeking ‘rights in marriage’ comes especially from wife and if all these two social expectations are seen as failures of couples then divorce (especially mutual consent divorce) is the only option.

6. DOES THE COURT CAN FORCE ME TO STAY WITH HER IRRESPECTIVE WHETHER DIVORCE DECREE ORDER IS PASSED OR NOT
Take: NO. Divorce decree is not like lollipop the moment one files it should pop. It takes years to get one if contested. The way I interpret your brief it will end up to be contested as one wants either RCR and or Divorce and other wants none from these two options so what pops is 'cruelty and probably desertion of second degree' of one spouse upon another which is more easy with assumptive evidences to prove then suffering and living in – between stage for long which is not healthy way to live a life for all three effected parties as per presented brief.