Wife abnoral behavior

(Guest)

What were you doing for the past 10 years?

siddhartha (manager) 26 April 2013

hi ,

like everyone , i want to save the marrige , besides it was love marriage , my and her decison ,so i dont want my family ( 2 married sis and father ) to suffer because of me ,

Originally posted by : siddhartha

Dear Sir ,

i am getting harrased by my wife mentally , its 10 yrs and still there is no improvement , I tried to take her parents into confidence and explained everything but they are not ready to understand and dont want to hear anything negative against thier daughter ( my wife )

my wife looses temper on very small things , she gets voilent and starts abusing me and insulting me ,screams at top of her voice ,use filthy language and sarts abusing my parents , ( my mom died in 2007 ) my fther is alive , ( ex .navy )

the only reason i am not responding to her behavior is that i married her and it was my decision , also , i dont want to make my father suffer because of me as he is also aged.

right from begining my wife has no such responsibilty of any of my parents nor any one is depending on her , but her behavior is very rough towards all of us ,

now, i am getting real sick of such behavior and it is affecting my health and my job as i cannot keep concentration , i dont feel like going home after work as i dont know what sort of welcome is waiting for me ,

my wife also denies me of my conjugal rights ,and its more than 3 ys we are living like friends sharing room and not as husband and wife . she is highly influenced by her father and she listens to him only ,

she always put me down infront of others , pass comments which will make me feel inferior and kill my self esteem , i am now fed up and want help ,should i continue relationship ( which i want ) or close the chapter ,

for good ,as it is affecting me big time , i am afraid i may loose my health / life and career as in if i dont pay attnetion to my job i will lose it ,

pls advice should i seek legal action , though her father keeps threatening me ( long back sent letter in legal language ) to threaten me , i ignored , being senior person , but i am afraid he will again try to make my life miserable .

i tried to speak to my wife bout having life in relationship , to have kids , may 1 , but she seems to be ignoring and always complains about my salary etc ,

she was working beofre but now she is at home from past 10 months as her company shut down , even when she was working i was taking care of all the expenses and never took her salary ( though my salary was just half of what she was earning ) i have been supporting and doing my duties as per my capabality and earning not taken any money from her parents or dowry or anything ,

pls help , should i file a case

siddhartha (manager) 26 April 2013

hi ,

like everyone , i want to save the marrige , besides it was love marriage , my and her decison ,so i dont want my family ( 2 married sis and father ) to suffer because of me ,

Originally posted by : siddhartha

Dear Sir ,

i am getting harrased by my wife mentally , its 10 yrs and still there is no improvement , I tried to take her parents into confidence and explained everything but they are not ready to understand and dont want to hear anything negative against thier daughter ( my wife )

my wife looses temper on very small things , she gets voilent and starts abusing me and insulting me ,screams at top of her voice ,use filthy language and sarts abusing my parents , ( my mom died in 2007 ) my fther is alive , ( ex .navy )

the only reason i am not responding to her behavior is that i married her and it was my decision , also , i dont want to make my father suffer because of me as he is also aged.

right from begining my wife has no such responsibilty of any of my parents nor any one is depending on her , but her behavior is very rough towards all of us ,

now, i am getting real sick of such behavior and it is affecting my health and my job as i cannot keep concentration , i dont feel like going home after work as i dont know what sort of welcome is waiting for me ,

my wife also denies me of my conjugal rights ,and its more than 3 ys we are living like friends sharing room and not as husband and wife . she is highly influenced by her father and she listens to him only ,

she always put me down infront of others , pass comments which will make me feel inferior and kill my self esteem , i am now fed up and want help ,should i continue relationship ( which i want ) or close the chapter ,

for good ,as it is affecting me big time , i am afraid i may loose my health / life and career as in if i dont pay attnetion to my job i will lose it ,

pls advice should i seek legal action , though her father keeps threatening me ( long back sent letter in legal language ) to threaten me , i ignored , being senior person , but i am afraid he will again try to make my life miserable .

i tried to speak to my wife bout having life in relationship , to have kids , may 1 , but she seems to be ignoring and always complains about my salary etc ,

she was working beofre but now she is at home from past 10 months as her company shut down , even when she was working i was taking care of all the expenses and never took her salary ( though my salary was just half of what she was earning ) i have been supporting and doing my duties as per my capabality and earning not taken any money from her parents or dowry or anything ,

pls help , should i file a case

(Guest)

^ ^ ^

Your intentions are good ie to save your family sisters and father.

But I really cannot figure out where is marriage in the first place, let alone love.

File for divorce. Get rid of your wife. [it will take a lot of time to get a divorce if it is contested by your wife, and it looks like one though, and be ready to face false cases also like 498a, DV etc, paying her alimony, permanent alimony]

or just try and convince her to mend her ways. [think that everything is fine and enjoy the show]

Mango (Consultant) 26 April 2013

siddhartha @ If you have ever heard about the famous phrase - "Love Is Blind", you could imagine that whosoever said this, said it very right!!!! Sad to hear what has been you through all these 10 years of marriage. It's great to hear about your patience and how politely you have handled all these petty matters and remained silent so far...

First of all, stop worrying about the future and health and enjoy your life as much as possible. Before you file, application for divorce or anything like that I would say at least be open and enjoy your life. If you feel like NOT coming back to home then don't go back home... Go for a movie, disc and other places and let your wife feel the need of yours at home... If she abuse you inside the house, go near to window and start saying the same thing so your neighbor so that they can ask for the details later-on from your wife... I think, you were extremely hesitant and that's why she has started taking you for the granted.... Take a 5-6 days leaves from office and go outstation with some friends... If after seeing all these, she starts behaving normally then start behaving normally otherwise go and file divorce based on desertion. You need some evidences like no s*x since last three years to get the divorce decree. I don't think so that she will be happy to give you Mutual Constent Divorce (MCD)...

Mango

Ritesh Srivastava (Manager) 27 April 2013

Before filing for divorce, I suggest you to collect some proofss like ---

1. Take a video recording ( if possible) of her when she is abusing you and your family.

2. Find out the proofs of haer salary i.e. her salary slip etc.

3. Arrange the proofs for money you spent on her i.e. any fund transfer into her account etc.

4. Chech for her call records.

Prepare yourself for divorce after all this.

Advocate Ravinder (Advocate/Attorney) 29 April 2013

First you check up whether there is atleast some sort of love and affection towards you. If there is no love, then it is better to take legal steps. First you try to settle amicable with mediators, family friends and well wishers, instead of going to court. You can also pay some reasonable compensation to her. Along with you she is also equally suffering without conjugal enjoyment since long time, so try to convince her to get the divorce mutually.

If that does not heed, then take legal steps. You should not lose your self esteem and do not bow your head before your wife. There are possibility of her filing 498-A, dowry case and maintenance cases against you and your family. Let her file, you be ready to defend the same by engaging any good lawyer. These are normal nowadays, as the laws are liberal for wife. You may win the case later, but right now you have to bear the embarrassment.

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