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Anonymous1 (fjslfj;)     07 July 2010

Advise Needed

I am married for 6 months now. My wife & me have been living alone for the past 2 months. She has been
1. lying to me and to my family members even on petty things
2. Forming her own assumptions and stories that she is being ill-treated and
3. Blindly accusing my family members (especially my mother).

I have been telling her zillion times not to lie and to be open & honest (atleast)with me...not to form her own assumptions and conculsions etc.. but she never gave ears to this.

She and her family also spoke unparlimentary words against me and my family (her father called me a "Bastard", she mother called our family a "Bitch family" and my wife asked me "if i am a man/potent"). These words have hurt my feeling deeply. Now she and her parents state that they have realised the mistake and are willing to come back.

However i am not confident that she would have changed her attitude and ,honestly, have lost the trust in her. They are planning for a f2f session with our family shortly. Is it fine if i openly convey that
--> I have lost the trust in her
--> Since the way she spoke has hurt me emotionally, even if she comes back, i would continue to mind my own business (until such time my feelings are healed and i cannot say when) and wouldnt care for her.
Note: I am not against her coming back to my house. I can provide her only food, clothing and shelter and "nothing" more.

Can there proceeding be taken against me if i state the above?? I know taking such a decision within 6 mts of marriage might look foolish but i hope you all can understand the amount of mental torture i would have gone through to take such a painful decision.
 



Learning

 6 Replies


(Guest)

1. Hit the “root” cause ! Here, looks like a case of "insecurities" developing in your srimatiji somewhere / someplace / someday in those 6 months and you all ignored those symptoms thus mountain out of mole situation happend.


2. To a new marriage to develop into happy go lucky “relationship” both partners need to work on it. Seems you lost trust due to bad mouthing by her entire side towards your side of family. It looks case of misinterpreting things in those 6 months and further situations misinterpreted by one side and / or by both sides.  


3. Vrious Laws says a husband duty is not only towards the ones (things that you mentioned you can give now to her) i.e things you mentioned but “union” of two spouse too for "healthy marriage" otherwise Law takes its own course in period of time. I can’t guide you if your decision is right or wrong but can say give time to heal the “hurt” factor and equally look into above
Para
1 hint may be things may improve for the good for both of you.


4. However a small signed / hand written note of apology of what happened by all three of them given to your family with witness signature and you keeping it at safe place may come handy for usage at that TIME if things does not improve and you and your family may get HIT by same Law.


Keeping fingers crossed with one more advise that is to get out of this forum now and give your marriage a try and if still not satisfied with emerging situations / hapenning then may come back here for some different feeders on how to proceed next.


All the best. Rgds.

Anonymous1 (fjslfj;)     07 July 2010

Respected

Anonymous1 (fjslfj;)     07 July 2010

Respected Arun,

Thanks for your response. My question is what kind of course can law take..rather what is the maximum course that law can take?

Nu.Delhi.Law.Fora. (Advocate-on-Record Supreme Court of India)     07 July 2010

Dear Querist,

As facts presented, it appears that its too premature to form any opinion whether or not you should take any precautionery steps permitted under laws, of course, to safeguard yourself  & your immediate parental members.

As regards your query, you may think couple of times since narration of facts suggests that you hail from decent & humble background and hence, answer to you question it may be sometime disturbing if any single adversial steps is chosen by your inlaws' side. Try and work-out for a decent burrial of disputes amongst yourselves rather than asking what is the maximum course that law can take.

 

Trust this would suffice.

Thanks & regards.

Rabin Majumder
Advocate & Attorney
For NuDelhiLawFora
At:
Ch. 91, Sh. AK Sen Chambers Block,
Supreme Court of India
Also at:
Lawyers’ Consultation Room /
2nd Floor, Bar Room
Delhi High Court
New Delhi – 110003
+ 91 98992 59811
+ 91 9013307807
+ 91 11 65955548
Email: nudelhilawfora@gmail.com

RAKHI BUDHIRAJA ADVOCATE (LAWYER AT BUDHIRAJA & ASSOCIATES SUPREME COURT OF INDIA)     07 July 2010

Dear Author,

I want to talk to in person before giving any suggestion to u. U can call me at 9871158578

Anonymous1 (fjslfj;)     07 July 2010

Dear Mr. Rabin Majumdar,

Can u please advise what kind of adverse steps that my in-laws can take. One thing i am aware of is that they can provide a false complaint and tigger a case under Domestic Violence Act. What other steps can they initiate and how can we prepare ourselves to counter it?


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