need urgent advice
Anandi S Kursija
(Querist) 03 October 2017
This query is : Resolved
Hi there,
me and my husband tied knots on 24 Feb 2014. We both are in a second marriage. from the start i am facing issues with my inlaws. as i was a working women i didnt knew most of the dishes to cook and the dishes which i cook are being disregarded stating it is not up-to-the mark as required. I was never perfect in household work as i never used to do it before due to which i have been faced domestic voilence by inlaws, and even husband supported them (Mother and sister in law). later we had a son, i was not allowed to feed him stating i dont know how to feed. was then again assulted and faced domestic voilence for not cleaning the baby's potty and not taking good care of him. or not knowing how to take care of the baby. they never use to give the baby to me to take care, always told to do household work and i use to cry for my baby. once day i took a step, contacted an NGO, did a police complaint took the babys custody with me and went to moms place. after this my inlaws and husband came to me telling this will not happen again and all. i closed the complaint and went back again with my inlaws. starting 4-5 months were ok as at the time of closing the case i was informed by counsellor to try to work hard and to the inlaws not to take crime in hands. being a working women i used to get tired and inlaws use to give me more n more work senslessly due to which i found myself incompetence. at work i always used to be depressed and now inlaws have started frightning me that the case which you did against us will be now punishable for you only...pleas advise as per the new rules what needs to be done next. as my husband is also not supporting me. there are many many casses happened for which i cant type so much. please advise
Vijay Raj Mahajan
(Expert) 03 October 2017
I will not advise you to indulge in unnecessary litigation against the husband and in laws under the Protection of Woman from the Domestic Violence Act, or the infamous DV Act as mostly being advised because this only result in breaking up the matrimonial home that you may not be thinking now after the birth of a child and this being your second marriage.
What best is that you make your husband agree to move out of joint family and start independent set of life with you without the interference of your parent in laws for smooth going of matrimonial home for both of you.
Although this will break the joint family for time being but it will bring peace of mind for both you and your husband and proper development of your child. You can workout your independent family unit as most couples are doing nowadays.
Meeting the parent in laws off and on can always be there and smooth relationship with them too continues in a formal manner.
Anandi S Kursija
(Querist) 03 October 2017
Thank you so much for the advise sir... but let me tell you i have already spoken with the husband for getting separated. but he is not ready to leave his family as we both are working and he is worried for his child. also he frightened me with the new rule i dont know the law number and all but as per that law if a DIL wishes to get seperated, MIL can decide or take action and live with the couple if she wishes to...
Vijay Raj Mahajan
(Expert) 03 October 2017
No such law made where MIL can decide or take action and live with the couple, let her go ahead and do it through court, no court will allow her forceful living with you if you are not interested for the same. It seems your husband, may be literate has half or no legal knowledge being misguided by some foolish lawyer.
Anandi S Kursija
(Querist) 03 October 2017
but how to convince my husband for the same. he is not ready to listen at all to get separated.and my husband is sub head of CP.
Rajendra K Goyal
(Expert) 03 October 2017
Try to save marriage and try to settle amicably the differences. Ego if any has to be thrown away.
Agree with the advice from expert Vijay Raj Mahajan.
Kumar Doab
(Expert) 03 October 2017
Don't leave any evidence that would establish that you tried to separate husband (son) from parents (MIL)...............
Instead keep on putting in efforts to save the marriage and also generation evidence that can help you in future, if the need be.
You lodged complaint and if pursued that could even invite disciplinary action also even if the husband is sub head of CP.
Kumar Doab
(Expert) 03 October 2017
Probably from CP you mean; Commissioner of Police........
Sub head of CP and even CP is not immune from law.
You have a delicate situation at hands, handle tactfully.
Sudhir Kumar, Advocate
(Expert) 04 October 2017
your husband as you said is concerned about the child and not willing to get separated. your won description indicates that you are not able to take good care of child. so what you decide. Are you to sacrifice interest of child.
Sudhir Kumar, Advocate
(Expert) 04 October 2017
you yourself say that you do not know proper cooking. Then on which strength your husband should venture to stay separate from parents.
Sudhir Kumar, Advocate
(Expert) 04 October 2017
if your MIL is 60(+) then she has a right to force her financial or physical maintenance (or both) on you both.
