making decision on divorce
Querist :
Anonymous
(Querist) 19 April 2011
This query is : Resolved
Respected,
The marriage between me & my wife was performed on 09 /12/2005 as per Muslim rites and customs at Chennai. The marriage was arranged one.
I was neither demand or nor taken any dowry at the time of marriage or after the marriage either from my wife or from their parents. At the time of marriage I used to work in Qatar. After marriage me & my wife lived in Chennai for 02 months. After 02 months I left to Qatar to join my duty and used to come to Chennai once every 03 or 04 months and used to live with her for atleast 5 to 7 days at Chennai. In May 2006 she left martial house – Chennai – without concerning me or my family members to her mothers home, then in December 2006 wilfully she left from Chennai without concerned either from me or my family members to Bangalore since at the time the I was is in Qatar. In December 2007 I came back to Chennai to settle in anywhere in India. Since December 2006 to December 2007 there was no communication between me and my wife. Once I reached Chennai I asked her parents to leave her with me in Chennai to perform healthy relationship but they didn’t even she didn’t.
In Jan 2008 I settled in Hyderabad – India, again I invite her to join me in Hyderabad but she didn’t. In May 2008 I went to Bangalore to invite her to join me in Hyderabad she asked for one month period which I approved but after then she didn’t return. In June 2008 once again I went to Bangalore to call her but she didn’t instead of that she kept false statements in front of her family members to believe her innocence with the help of her mother. Finally she refused to join and send me out of her house then I called her first TALAQ just to convince her by believing that atleast she will join with me on the fear of allah but she didn’t. Till Feb 2009 we didn’t had any normal conversation but she forced me to send papers to her home on our separation.
She started calling me again and again to send her the final papers due to that mental torture I filed case on Hyderabad Judge family court for the restitution of conjugal rights. Even though she knew the proceeding & received notice from the court and failed to attend the court and contest the case, they honourable court has passed ex-parte decree in favour of me directing her to join with me within one month on September 2009 but she didn’t and even she didn’t inform her family members about the process. Once she came to know that court has passed the Ex-party she made scene infront of her family members that she wants to live with me just to prove her innocence. The she called me and say the exact words that “I wanted to stay away with you for few years now I want to come back to your life”. After then I met their family members like – Uncle – and informed them I dodnt have issue come back but this time she must sty with me permanently or we must separate.
In August 2010 last week her family members bring her to Chennai to my sister house to hand over her to me to perform healthy relationship with me in Hyderabad and she joined me with immediate effect.
In December 2010 once again she stayed in mother home without my concern after bakrid citing ear operation problem even though I confirmed her infornt of her elder sister that I will provide the medical assistants in Hyderabad but she didn’t listen to me instead of that she kept false statements infornt of her relatives that I didn’t take care of her with the help of mother. From then she once again stays in her mother home in Bangalore.
I went twice to call her and make several phone calls but in vain, Now I decided to move to Chennai by getting transfer in same company an call her once again to live with me if she didn’t then I have decided to send a notice with ‘ONE TALAQ’ if she comes and join me then its fine otherwise decided to give final TALAQ after she complete the IDDAT period.
One thing is sure from my side I don’t want to void this relationship still am interested but if she refused to join me then I don’t have any other choice rather than leaving her for her better future prospects. Request you to please suggest or confirm in above situation the decision which I have taken correct or not as its been 5 years now this relationship leads no where and am 35 now- in that base must think about my life as well rather than waiting for so many years of her return
abhishek
(Expert) 21 April 2011
from the contents, it is obvious that your wife is not interested in living with you. you already had made so much efforts. any decision at this stage is only yours. if it seems to you that now this relation is impossible to subsist, then its better to wind this.
Susanta Chakraborty
(Expert) 25 April 2011
Hi!
First remember, a long term relationship is based on mutual respect, caring and the emotional fulfillment. Results in depth and longivity. That is what missing on above story. You are a good person. My advice is to brake up this relationship and get married to someone else who will take care of your feelings and sentiments.
The experiences of the life are supposed to make us better, not bitter.
Aise khawabo se kya faida jo hume sulade, khawab to woh hai jo aage badna sikhade. .
Querist :
Anonymous
(Querist) 25 May 2011
Dear Susanta/ Abhishek,
Thanks for the reply,
Next week am going to shift chennai from hyderabad, once i reach chennai i will call her once if she joins with me then its fine otherwise i have decided to give her talaq as per shariat law as first talaq then iddat/ second talaq then iddat then final talaq.
my question is
1)Beofre i send talaq notice i have to submit the whole story to police or not required
2)I have applied for RCR in 2009 got exparte then in july 2010 she joined with me in hyderabad then again from december 15 2010 she wilfully started staying in bangalore. now i have to once again apply for RCR before i send talaq notice or i can use same RCR - Exparte to send talaq notice
3)While applying RCR once again i can submit the talaq notice also to her as am providing her IDDAT time period to think to join me that itself is a reconciliation effort - am right
Please suggest me
