Marriage
Guest
(Querist) 21 July 2016
This query is : Resolved
My husband slapped me twice and tries to hurt me physically. I was staying with my husband. Last month he beat me and sent to my mother's home. I don't have any proof of his physical attack. Can I take legal step. But if I go against him can I stay with him. As iam traditional person I don't want to leave him. My parents will be worried. Similarly my inlaws are brain washing him to hurt me everytime and his mother is abused my mother over phone. I just want to warn them by sending legal notice. So that they will not be able to hurt me in future. I want to live with my husband I don't want divorce.
Kumar Doab
(Expert) 21 July 2016
Explore the possibility of staying alone with your husband even if in rented accommodation.
Rest is upto you.
R.K Nanda
(Expert) 21 July 2016
Live with ur husband in rented house.
Guest
(Querist) 21 July 2016
Already we are settled in other state. They get connected over phone. My husband is supporting and encouraging them. Not only that they are cooking up fake stories against me in front of others/relatives and inlaw abuses my mother.Why mother should suffer from their harsh behavior. My image and mental peace both are spoiled. Hence, I wanted to send some legal notice.
J K Agrawal
(Expert) 21 July 2016
I can understand the dilemma you have. You do not want to spoil life of you and families of both side but you want to maintain your self respect, which you should have.
The law is not solution. It only breaks.
I belong to a big family that is i can suggest you a bit.
First make some friends in your in-laws. I say, make a lobby who support to you, apart from your husband and his mother. like Nanad, devrani, Jethani and other family members, neighbors, friends of husband remote relatives of husband, Persons with whom your husband spend most of his time like the colleague and co-workers of him, his boss.
If you do this, it is almost full done. you talk with them generally and your husband should be knowing it.
Warn strictly your husband that talks would be by mouth only and not by tooth and nails.
If again your husband beat you, threaten him that you are going to say this thing to all his relatives and friends. (But be cautious - never say to any body. you will loose your reputation.)
Try to get him realize that he was wrong by beating you. To keeping non speaking terms for a few hours is good enough.
At the same time, It requires some changes in you yourself also.
Just try to understand that why your husband beat you? there is only one reason that you do not do what he want. Just try to understand what he want. If possible, you fulfill that and adjust your self according to him. I am sure that he do not want much from you and his expectations are very little.
One of my clients who were about to divorce, having so many problems between both them and their families. When I dig the root cause, i found that the husband wanted her wife to wear Jeans and top instead of Saari which the wife was not used to.
Such a little things spoils the whole life.
Please check your self first and go ahead. you will win.
Guest
(Querist) 22 July 2016
Jk agarwal Sir I want to tell you the reason why he beats me. His mother speak harshly from the day of our engagement I used to ignore it earlier. Then later I found she is playing game against me. Started talking behind and spoiling my image as it is in her nature. When I talked to him and asked him to stop her talking that way. Whenever she tried to hurt by her harsh and unkind words. I requested him to make his mother understand that but he started physically hurt me. Moreover he has secret conversation with her. He never share that with me. When i try to ask he says he did not talk to her. But his behaviour changes after talk with her. That time he beats me. I personally spoke with his mother then she said she abused me and asked me to seek divorce. His mother abused my mother over phone by saying about my mother's marriage life without any knowledge. When I said she is crossing her limit he beat me. Now what iam supposed to do now. He never treats me like life partner.he never respect me . I threatened him by saying that i will tell this to relatives he says if you can do this i also will go and build stories against you.How long I am able to adjust his mother's behaviour.I cannot leave him meantime I cannot live with him.he says actually his mother and father belongs to rural uneducated family. But I never saw any rural people to hurt others intentionally. I heard that rural people are more kind and help others. His mother is provoking him to beat me. I feel like to send legal notice to his mother that she is not supposed to influence his son to hurt me. I dont want to send her jail as she has crossed her 60's. just for my safety and peace with my husband i want to send her legal notice. So that she will stop her filthy game. Sir,you say that there is reason to beat me. But do you think Indian culture allow anybody to beat a woman. Is this a solution to any problem.What will happen if I apply a same technic for any problem. Don't you think I am supposed to defend my self.
Guest
(Expert) 22 July 2016
Hi pd,
Perhaps you have not noticed carefully that there ate several contradictions in your story. On one hand you stated, "I am traditional person I don't want to leave him," and on the other you want to take legal step against your husband. Not only that you also want to know "if I go against him can I stay with him." You have also showen your intention by saying, "I threatened him by saying that i will tell this to relatives he says if you can do this I ALSO WILL GO AND BUILD STORIES AGAINST YOU." All that reveals extreme contradictions in your story.
In family affairs though bickering are always there on one or the other issues, but traditional women never try to take resort to legal actions against their own family members. They believe in patch up in the family affairs. However, if you don't like your children to enjoy peaceful life, you are quite free to take any legal action against your husband and in-laws. That all depends upon your own wisdom.
I don't know about others, but at least I am not convinced with your story.
Kumar Doab
(Expert) 22 July 2016
If marriage can be saved by joint efforts then nothing like it.
Rajendra K Goyal
(Expert) 22 July 2016
Any legal step may break the relation. Try to have amicable settlement and save the marriage.
