My husband and his lover cheated
sahasra
(Querist) 31 December 2012
This query is : Resolved
Hi, two years before i got married, gifted baby boy on 2011, at the time of second pregnancy doctor confirmed i am suffering with HIV, but my husband and Kid both are negative. when we went CD4 test they confirmed it's in advance stage i need to start ART quickly and i started. after some doubts expressed by doctors, my husband enquired about my father detah. finally he came to knew my father died with HIV in 15 years back, and my Mother also having HIV since seven years.
frankly i have no idea about this. he requested my family and relative to have meeting at that time he abused my family and relatives. but he never shares about this to his family.
before marriage he told me he has a planned to marry some other girl but it did not work. but after marriage also they both talking each other regularly ( i have his telephone bills), i have seen he dropped her near our house several time. our house owner also told confirmed same. i am sure he and his lover injected HIV to me. because when i take his lover name he gets angry and beats me badly. this happend more than 10 times in my marriage life.
three months back we both had disputes and i came to my native place,i have taken all jewelary which is mine becasue we made those at time of marriage. he gifted some arnaments to me and kid but unfortunaly those also came with me.
he filed the case against my family about cheating.
he filed case for child custody and divorce.
i don't want to give child because i have no trust on him, what if he will marry his lover who will take care my child, i discussed some doctors they confirmed HIV is not a transmitted decease.
last three months he is not paying anything to us. did i get the maintenance if i will give divorce. how much maintenance will come. as per his payslips his salary is 30k per month.
which case i can file what are the sections will help me.
ajay sethi
(Expert) 31 December 2012
you can file application under DV act seek right to stay in shared household , right to maintenance . custody of your child
sahasra
(Querist) 31 December 2012
Sir,
if i contest did i get the child ?
if he can prove our cheating, do we need to go prison.
when we requested for money he is saying he paid huge expenses to hospital and he has no money at present. ( actually he paid 2 lacks).
he agreed to pay monthly maintenance 3k. but that is not sufficient for me.
when i approach advocates again i have to pay 50K as fee.
please suggest me do i need to contest or not. i need to know the actual judgement.
Guest
(Expert) 01 January 2013
File a case under DV Act for residence, maintenance and for child custody under GWA.
No lawyer can predict the outcome of the cases you may file, much less the 'actual judgment'.
The fees of the advocate has to be paid if you engage him for the task.
Ashish Davessar
Advocate
Supreme Court of India
Punjab and Haryana High Court
District Courts, Amritsar & Chandigarh
sahasra
(Querist) 01 January 2013
Thank you Ashish Sir,
is it possible an AIDS pataint can get the child custody.
Me and my mother and brother have AIDS, at present i am staying with them. in future also i want to stay with them.
he regularly asking me how i got HIV, ( actually i don't have HIV at the time of first pregnence). can i file a case on this.
i want to file a case on him and his lover. ( i have proof of his telephone bills)
Devajyoti Barman
(Expert) 01 January 2013
HIV is surely a major constraint to get custody f the child.
sahasra
(Querist) 01 January 2013
thank you sir, you are saying if i can defeat the case also i won't get child ? because of HIV.
i can't stop him for divorce also. only one option is i can get maintenance ? please correct me.
what is the maximum amount of maintenance i can if his salary is 30K.
which case i can file on him based on the telephone bills.
please give me clear idea sir,
Devajyoti Barman
(Expert) 01 January 2013
You should get not less than Rs 6000/-.
The telephone bills would help you and not substantive proof to get specific relief on the point of cheating.
ajay sethi
(Expert) 01 January 2013
we have advised you to file case under DV act claim maintenance . custody of child would be difficult as you are suffering from HIV .you have to take the plea that HIV can be contracted only from exchange of bodily fluids . if you are able to take care of the child your HIV staus should not be an impedient in getting custody of child
if husband is earning Rs 30,000 you can get around Rs 7,000 a month as maintenance .
sahasra
(Querist) 01 January 2013
Thank you Sir, based your suggestion i am going to cancel my counter against child custody and divorce, because i won't win the case at any way. at least i can save some time and money. (please suggest )
can i keep a child and prolong divorce until i get the justice on maintenance. is there any possibility.
please let me know is there any way i can punish him.
ajay sethi
(Expert) 01 January 2013
you can contest divorce case but you have to pay lawyer fees .
if you refuse to give divorce husband will come to a settlement. you can amake application for maintenance in family court wherein divorce case is pending .
family courts have legal aid centre . contact them if you are unable to afford lawyer
Guest
(Expert) 01 January 2013
In my considered opinion, the fact that you are HIV positive, by itself, does not disentitle you to child custody if you can prove that the welfare of the child can be taken care of by you. The custody of the child being entrusted to you is not a distant possibility if you can prove the welfare of the child lies with you. It is a battle which if fought fiercely may result in the court deciding your petition for child custody without disqualifying you on account of your HIV positive status.
On other issues I respectfully agree with my ld.colleagues Mr.Barman and Sethi.
sahasra
(Querist) 01 January 2013
Sir, please clarify about child custody ?
if i give child, i have no hope he will pay regular maintenance. however i will go with onetime settlement. can i keep kid till final settlement
we did one mistake, me and my brother called his office and make some nonsense. i think at present he is jobless.
what if he is not earning ?
Devajyoti Barman
(Expert) 01 January 2013
Until court pass final order you can always keep the child with you and given the pace of the proceedings in court the fate of your child is not going to be decided anytime soon.
M V Gupta
(Expert) 01 January 2013
In case you do not have means to meet the legal expenses, you may approach the legal aid authorities at your center who will extend free legal service to you and fight your case.
R.K Nanda
(Expert) 01 January 2013
no more to add.
R.venkatesh Naidu
(Expert) 14 January 2013
1st you made a complaint against your husband narrating all the events before proper police station, after filing the FIR, you got a copy of FIR, you may file an application under section 125 of CRPC for maintainance and file a complaint under domestic voilence act.
you don't worry. as per the law steal, begor borrow, any married male person shall maintain her wife.
hence, 1st you stablise yourself, then you proceed about your child. better, you approach free legal aid and fid a good lawyer in your area,any best of luck.
sahasra
(Querist) 16 January 2013
thanks for all your suggestions, i am planning to ask them mutual understand with following conditions.
- we will give the child, but if he remarry he has to return.
- he has to deposit amount on KID and we both will nominee if he remarry
- as a maintenance he has to pay one time settlement for me.
please let me know your opinions
V R SHROFF
(Expert) 16 January 2013
Legal Aid will provide u free Legal services
Depending on Evidence/ proof, you will get 7 to 10k pm mtn.
Custody of child will be decided by Court, it don't depend on someone's remarriage. It is the paramount interest of child welfare that counts.
U can ask him to be insured with nominee as child & u.
Never take one time settlement.
Money melt & flow out. ice in hand get empty & dry after some time.
Get property/ or cont mtn
So as Adv Ajay ji & other experts / Barman suggested, go for DV Act. for residence & mtn .
sahasra
(Querist) 28 January 2013
In front of judge my husband explained the risks of child associating with HIV patients. after that Judge asked about same, i said me and my mother have HIV but both my brother don't have. my mother got HIV from her husband and i got infection from my husband. then he submitted all medical proofs of him and kid where both are not infected, but judge not consider those reports. then i have expressed doubt on Hospital where first delivery happens, but judge did not said anything. and expressed i have doubt on my husband he forcefully injected the virus into my body.
when my husband requested for KID Honorable judge said it's not communicable disease, nothing to worry to keep the child with us. and given date of one month for next proceedings,
we haven't showed the KID to them from last one month, he is trying but we are avoiding, i don't want to show him.
me and my brothers are enquired about his property at their village secretly and given some details to our lawyer.
when judge is saying AIDS is not risky to welfare the child, i am getting confidence that i am going to win the case.
suggest me if anything i need to take care to win both cases.
M V Gupta
(Expert) 28 January 2013
As ur child is very small the court will not allow its custody to ur husband if u oppose his request. The Hono'ble Judge has rightly observed that Aids is not a communicable disease. This is a well recognized position. Hence stick to ur stand that u will retain the child with you and claim for its maintenance and urs also as suggested by the experts above.
sahasra
(Querist) 21 February 2013
Reports came from hospital and showing my Husband not infected, now every one wonder how i am infected. Doctor saying if i haven't done any mistake ( sexually ), there is a possibility that i have infected from my mother, if that is true he given an option to think about child health.
when i expressed about doubt on my husband where he and his lover injected virus to me, He said no one can inject HIV virus as it's not that easy and 99.9% is not possible. where virus will not survive more that 20 seconds out side the body.
he given an option if he injected why he spends lakhs of rupees on my health and why he hasn't shared same to anyone. if he know that he injected why he will meet with sexually, ( i have expressed even we met sexually before day of the HIV test), he told there is less possibility to compare to women to men transmission. he might lucky as of now.
I am in confused mode, like should i stick with Judge words and fight the case or should i go with doctor words, Can you please let me know the next proceedings.
i want child and maintenance.
Raj Kumar Makkad
(Expert) 21 February 2013
The opinion of the doctor remains final as the courts have also no mechanism to judge how the HIV had spread except the medical evidence and opinion of the medical science experts so you should believe upon the doctor, however, if you desire, may take the second opinion from medical board.
sahasra
(Querist) 21 February 2013
today again i went HIV test where me and my mother are positive, when i approached professors in Govt hospital and ICTC centers.
every one saying there is no harm as per science to keep the child with HIV positive mother. but there will be unproven record where it might be transmit, and it would be a dangerous where we can't cure. there is other possibilities where child may be infect some other disease from me and my mother which are also not curable easily.
they are suggesting to give a child to my husband where he is out of danger in day to day activity.
again they are throwing an option saying they are most wonder how i got infected in short span how it become advance stage, after my CD 4 count and other reports few of them tried confirm i am surely have sexual relation with other than my husband.
If i haven't done any mistake and i infected from my mother they are saying to give a kid immediately to my husband parents.
but they are saying no doctor will come and say anything in court about the harm of keeping child with HIV positive mother.
i am sure he won't get the KID through court, if i give the kid to him i have no trust he will pay regular maintenance. he is not willing to give onetime settlement.
Raj Kumar Makkad
(Expert) 21 February 2013
It is not good to retain child with you just because your husband may neglect you. You being a good and loving mother should first care for the life of child so better to provide the custody of your child to your husband by making a stateement in the court. Don't think to use your child as your tool.
M V Gupta
(Expert) 21 February 2013
I think the issue is very delicate. I feel that the mother should not feel agitated to keep the child with her in view of the following: 1. The HIV is not communicable disease. Hence there is no risk to the child if it stays with the mother. 2. If at any time it is apprehended that keeping the child with the mother is risky for its health, the child can be looked after by the mother's close relatives until it becomes old enough. 3. During this period the husband should meet its maintenance and educational expenses.
Raj Kumar Makkad
(Expert) 21 February 2013
Mr. Gupta! The mother of the child and maternal grand mother both are inflicted with HUV and there is no no mention of any other close relative to take care of that child so in the given circumstances, isn/t ir humane and legal to provide the custody of natural guardian of child his father who is agitating before the courts to take his custody?
There is no delication in this matter rather this is very simple matter which is being made complicated by the mother of such innocent child just for her right to maintenance and one time settlement.
sahasra
(Querist) 06 March 2013
Sir,
i have collected my husband mobile phone caller list, some how i have taped his conversations and massages as well
i got picture like where he and his Girl friend traveling in car/bike.
so these proofs will helpful to me to stand on the case where i can prolong the divorce and child custody.
ajay sethi
(Expert) 06 March 2013
mere trvelling with a girl in a bike or car s no evidence of having sexua relation ship . your husband may be merely giving a lift to lady colleague .
it is necessary to go through converstaions taped by you as to whether it would be help ful or not
sahasra
(Querist) 07 March 2013
after listen the conversation by our elders we are sure that they each other have love, and expresses some feeling as well.
is it possible to refuse the divorce ?
if divorce is necessary can i lag the case ?
is it possible to request more maintenance while case is under proceedings ?
Is there anyway i can hold my child with me ?
sahasra
(Querist) 09 October 2013
Dear All,
luckly our case hasn't closed yet due to Judges shuffle, my husband and their family tried to see the kid at that time there is quarrel happend and we filed the case at PS under 324, however they got the bail.
we have next hearing in this month all together ( Maintenance, Divorce and Child custody)
can you please advise me what type of document i need to submit to get the maintenance from my husband by showing his financial status.
thank you.
