Absconded husband

Dear Asha,

Emails and chats are admissible in evidence.

U can try to find out your hubby's address through American Embassy.

@ Adv. Sridhar American Embassy would not intervene in family issues and neither they will provide her husband's information. If you have any doubt please try to send an email to american embassy and see what answer you get back. Here author has to send summons through proper channel which would be via ministry of home affairs.

Dear Asha

according to my knowlegde divorce petition can be entertained after 1 year of the marriage not earlier.

@Author,

You yourself said you had his user id and password ...with which you can generate all false proof. Isnt it ?

Many disconnects in your story , you said your husband left to USA next day of marriage which is in Feb 2011 then you said you got separated in month of June ...

There are three versions in each case..Husband Version, Wife Version, True version...

I guess  u don't have a clarity on my case. 

1.Got married on feb 2011. Never stayed together as he had to travel next day of our marriage and i was waiting for my green card till june.

2.Came to know about his true color in the month of march 2011(when he shared his user id and password. e had a habit of flirting with the girls over the chat etc). Last week also i was receiving some emails  from his so called girl friends explaining about his true color

3.Tolerated everything ,gave him an chance to correct himself and i was hopeing that he will leave all his physic activities. But things did not go well and seprated in the month of june.

4. Now he is absocnded in usa. His family also. Nobody are lifting the call and they do not have a value for relationship. 

I am not here to blame anyone. I just want to come out of this and want to lead a peaceful life. I am expecting some good legal suggestion in my case. 

Lodge general diary with police on a piece of paper mentioning the date when he deserted and his adulterous behaviour etc. and take their stamp and signature on its photocopy. The purpose is to build evidence that he deserted from such and such date his adulterous behaviour etc. etc. Then file divorce under grounds of desertion. If he does not appear and contest the case despite court notices and the paper publication of notice, you will get ex parte divorce. Details of the general diary to police can be mentioned in your divorce petition.

Before proceeding sit and discuss everything with some experienced matrimonial lawyer and go by his guidance so that case proceeds smoothly in your favour and in shortest possible time.

Ms. Asha,

1.  File a police complaint about his absconding and keep a copy of it.

2.  File a complaint before NCW (national Commission for Women)  through e-mail and if you are a delhi resident file it personally.  They have a separate wing to follow up NRI victims cases.

3.  If you get any consolation out of this information, that victims like you are thousands in numbers.  Some of the brides were deserted at IGI Airport by their callous NRI husbands after enjoying their money and body.  IGI Airport received such complaints on several occasions.

4.  Till completion of one year, you cannot file divorce case.  If you show extreme hardship, then court permits you to file such petition within one year.  My suggestion is wait for one year and in the mean time collect evidence such as emails what you have already and also the complaints of above said nature.  You can get divorce on the ground of adultery and cruelty but not on the ground of desertion, which requires minimum 2 years separation.

5.  For getting successful divorce decree, the respondent's address is must.  As per the latest procedure, in some cases, even e-mail service is accepted by the courts.  Any how, it is better to get correct address of the husband.  For that engage a good detective agency and find out his correct address.  If he refuses to receive the notices or in some other circumstances, the courts will allow you to go for paper publication of notice and after that, hearing you, grant ex-parte divorce decree.

6.  The procedure of serving the summons in USA  is through Ministry of Foreign Affairs.  Several circulars were issued by the Govt. in this respect laying down the procedure to be followed in such cases.  But experience shows that they are not effective.  In India, the most difficult  thing is to get the notices /  summons  served on the opposite party.

7.  Find out, if he has any movable and immovable property.  That will help you to bring him out from his rat burrow.

8. It is not just the question of you to get divorce and settle for another marriage.  While you do so, without having any revenge in your mind, but such people should be punished severely for exploiting the girls mentally, physically and economically through procedure of law, so that they will not come back here again to hunt some more innocent girls.

Wish you best of luck.

Let us understand that you married in Feb 2011, the very next day he left to USA. You waited till June 2011 for your visa. 

My question now is, did you already travel to USA or you are still in India? If you have travelled to USA, where did you stay in case he is missing or absconding, did you prefer to complain to anyone locally or did you prefer to make a police complaint.

If you are staying in India, how can you claim that you are seperated from June 2011, when you left you the next day of yoru marriage.

Since the marriage is solomized in India, you may prefer to send a divorce notice to the last known address in India, and also you may prefer to talk with your in-laws to understand the issue or if they are different then you may prefer to lodge a police complain

Thanks you so much for your suggestion.

Now a days he is sending me abusive sms from yahoo(almost 5 yahoo meail id's) and talking about my character etc. I warned him via email by copying the same email to his brother and sister(family). but still he is not stopping. Legally is there any way to stop it. SMS can also be a valid proof in the court of law?

Sending offensive Emails is criminal offence under IT Act and you can lodge a complaint in cyber cell attached to the police.  They will trace out the sender and initiate criminal case against the sender.  For offensive SMS, you can lodge a complaint with the police department and they will initiate appropriate criminal proceedings.  Every metro politan police advertise a telephone no. through which you can lodge complaint against offensive SMS.  Once, it is a police case, you need not to bother that how evidence has to be collected and proved and that responsibility lies with the prosecution.

“In the month of march 2011 he shared his gmail id and password. then i came to know about his true colour. He had an affair with many girls. I gave him a warning. But he never changed.”

Why one should not believe that you send/posted/saved such things in his mail. Any way email headers will prove it easily.

Why one should not believe, that you stole his password.

If he has something to hide from his newly married wife, then why anyone will “gift” his password to computer savvy suspicious wife, who stayed just for one night with him.

If chatting with fictitious girls is (in this case even before marriage) causing divorce then 90%(generic) of internet user will be in divorce court.

“He is one big flirt”

Since you got his password and blaming. r u judge?

“Tolerated everything ,gave him an chance to correct himself and i was hopeing that he will leave all his physic activities. But things did not go well and seprated in the month of june.?

Now you are acting like doctor too. A psysic patient is doing well paid job in USA!!!! You are well aware about his USA job before marriage, so he didn’t deserted you rather you refused to stay with him.

“they do not have a value for relationship’

How many days you stayed with your in –laws? Or same blame game for high alimony?

“he is sending me abusive sms from yahoo(almost 5 yahoo mail id's)”

Email header will prove, is it from USA or India. Is it from him or somebody else is sending…….???(after some identity theft/ password….. you know)

Adv Chandu

“While you do so, without having any revenge in your mind, but such people should be punished severely for exploiting the girls mentally, physically and economically through procedure of law, so that they will not come back here again to hunt some more innocent girls.”

Chandu sir, opposite is also true. With their own education, parent’s hard earned money and entrepreneur  nature boys goes to USA & other countries. Where as MOST of the girls (generic) only dreaming of getting such boys easily through marriage. Why they(generic) are not opting for local chaprasi/riksawala etc , who will 24 hours take care  them, will not absconded, not chat with other girls, stay with her parents, serve tea, coffee………endless list.

 even these type of girls(generic) are not marrying Gulf based construction labourers who are many time richer than USA boys.

“When you struggle with your partner, you are struggling with yourself. Every fault you see in them touches a denied weakness in yourself.”

Hi, as per my understanding, as you are not living with husband you need to  to file a case for maintenance charges, if husband is not tracable , you can file police complaint against their family where marriage was solmanized i am sure you will get clues of husband's current address.

your first right is to get the maintenance charges.

Ms Asha,

If you are still trying to trace him I can help you locate him. I am a private Investigator /Detective. You can reach me on iconagency2005@gmail.com.

Regards and Take care.