Brother-in-law's misbehavior

what does your sister want?

You had posted your problem in the past also and were given some solutions.Did you act upon them?

@ Meenal.. after some discussions over phone calls my brother in law promised that all these issues will never happen. so we send my sister back.. Now all this is happening...we thought ..first give them a chance to improve the things but all seems waste.

@ Uma : we are not ab;e to contact her .. I guess her cell phone is not with her now.

File a case of wrongful restraint and Habeas corpus just to know that your sister is safe first... then talk to her what she wants and you can take it up from there.... on the flipside if your sister is happy now although there is no communication from her in what ever manner... you filing any of these cases may disrupt her family life.... take care

read as: and / or Habeas Corpus...

Instead of findng sister's condition on intternet just visit her with few kg sweets and hope for good. Why always

be negative?

she has just went there day before yesterday and right after reaching there ..these all things come up..

Kamalji,

First thing is to find her. Is she fine ? To know this, involve some common friends / relatives who could visit her in-laws place and check if she is fine. Then ask some common acquintance to intervene and make the husband and wife sit together and decide about the future of their marriage. If needed be, even for the wellbeing of both the families, the couple should stay away from BOTH THE FAMILIES and understand each other for some time.

Meanwhile if they realize that they cant stay with each other, they should take a decision. And if they are well adjusted with each other, its good for BOTH THE FAMILIES.

But as I said, FIRST find if she is fine. But still make sure that there is no heated argument etc between the families. Even if the couple is destined to part, it should be done peacefully without ruining the life of anyone

@Author,

Your sister is major hence she should be able to think what is right  / wrong for her.

No body should be interefering in married girls life like un-invited judges.

If your BIL doesnt want you guys to call her then let it be.

Let some time pass and your sister would be able to win everybody's respect @ inlaws place. The more you try to control inlaws the more its going to be strained relation. If you try to get into micro managing things and looking in to day to day issues of her life then believe me it is going to be disasterous life for all of you.

@ Zeeshan : she spent 2 long years with her in laws and we were not interfereing at all in her life..there used to be the issues but we always tried to make her understand that these things happens in married life..but what will u say if the the MIL abuses her all the time without any reason and it crossed all the limits when my sister was pregnant for 9 months and she asked her to touch the feets of all the relatives in a marriage.this is not the only eg when she is cruel to her....my sister didn't want to go there but the MIL took her in the marriage. Even after her delivery she used to give her lunch at 4'o clock in evening...still u will say the same things..

If you're being the part of the discussion better understand the things completely then comment.

pls don't mind the words if I'am lil harsh..you can understand my situation.

@ Zeeshan : Had I wanted to do so I would have done this earlier.. you people are the experts and I really need your expert advice on this issue.. As I told you i never interfere in my sister's married life but I also don't want my sister to bear all this.. she is educated, employed...still the inlaws treat her like maid.

Don't you think my sister deserves a better life???

Most of issues you are writing are simply adjustement issues and your sister should be able to handle them.

Some time due to age and background difference - parents and daughter in law face some differnces but that is common and normal with mentally healthy ppl. Your sister should clarify and settle with them.

But looks instead of that she is complianing to you and your parents otherwise how come you guys knows about all these things? Most of them are non sense - she is adult and able to manage all if Mother in law is not giving food she can take her own ? or Mother in law is keeping lock in kictchen? If hse has problem in touching feet during pregnancy - she can raise same. Whats the big thing? Doing own house hold work is not maid's work - take this out of your mind and also from your sisters mind. If it is your sister need shelp she needs to ask her husband for arranging maid.

from all of your post I feed you are over interfering do one thing - just go and livewith sister as part of dowry.

In that way you can help her in daily work and keep an eye on mother in law.

And also 2 years is not long period - in arrange marriages it takes many years to understand spouse it self and depnding on nature of both parties assimilation to new family may take some time.

I feel you are going to spoil life of your sister ...by doing all silly things.