Mental harassment by wife

dear sir,

we need to see your petition. however it is to be drafted and presented in a proper way. if already filed then we can suggest ammendeds to be filed and if proved that wife is suffering from some mentally ill kind then child custody can be given to you. kusum gupta adv

Dear friend

I am agree with Adv. Kusum

To add:

Since mental harassment and cruelty is on rise, what is the success level or percentage that I might get a divorce?

This rise has nothing to do with the courts. One will get divoce by merits.

- What are the chances of me getting the custody of the child?

Decided on merits, again!

- Once the divorce petition reaches her, can she get inside my home and refuse to go out?

Yes, she may, there is no bar upon her, beware!

- Once the divorce petition reaches her, I am sure to get problems from her and her family members. How can I safeguard myself, my parents and daughter?

Advice will be problem specific. Meanwhile read "498a survival guide" DV Act urself

- If the illness is proved, how long will the court take to pass the judgement

No time limit in such cases! Anybody's guess

You have sufficient grounds to get divorce and custody of child.  Produce the medical certificates of psychiatrists in the court to support your grounds.

- Since mental harassment and cruelty is on rise, what is the success level or percentage that I might get a divorce?

DIVORCE CASE OR ANY CASE SHOULD NOT BE FILED ON THE %AGE GAME BASIS. IT SHOULD BE FILED ON ITS OWN MERITS.

- What are the chances of me getting the custody of the child?

FROM THE FACTS PRESENTED, HIGH

- Once the divorce petition reaches her, can she get inside my home and refuse to go out?

YES

- Once the divorce petition reaches her, I am sure to get problems from her and her family members. How can I safeguard myself, my parents and daughter?

BE VIGILANT, TAKE PRECAUTIONS

- If the illness is proved, how long will the court take to pass the judgement?

YOUR GUESS IS AS GOOD AS MINE.

REGARDS,

SHONEE KAPOOR

HARASSED.BY.498A@GMAIL.COM

Thanks to all for providing your expert guidance on my issue. Things, although, are progressing at a leisurely pace, thought I would get all of your inputs again on what has happened so far after my initial query.

I finally took courage and made up my mind to file a divorce petition. I have filed a mental harassment case against my spouse. Once the petition reached her house, her parents had re-directed the petition to my house and have sent their daughter back (after 8 months of separation.) When the petition reached my house, we had to re-direct it to my spouse's office, which she had to accept.

It has been a little over a month since she has been living here. We both live in separate rooms, do not communicate much except regarding our daughter. Initially, she has been calm and patient and after a week or so, she said she wanted to talk to me about our daughter, but was strict in saying she wanted to meet me outside and not at home. I was really not keen on meeting her outside and hence informed her that we would meet and discuss at home with the room locked and privacy. During the conversation, we discussed several issues, but the important one was that she wanted me to withdraw my petition to which I refused. She said we cannot live as husband-wife anymore and we have to think about our daughter for whom we should be role models. Repeatedly she forced me to withdraw the petition, which I have bluntly refused by saying I was through with her abuses, mental harassments.

Last week, an anonymous letter was sent to my office counterpart. The letter (5 pages) was sent to her, but inside it was addressed to me (spouse had written in the envelope) and was worded in such a way that my conscience was writing to me. The copy of letter was sent to my home and another to the head of HR. I was called by the HR, told me to have these sorted at home and not bring any such issues to the office in future. I had explained by saying it was an anonymous letter, but they were not ready to buy my reply.

Some excerpts from the letter:
- I am born with a hole in my heart and did not disclose this to them prior to marriage (We did and they accepted for marriage only after confirming with the doctor. Her dad had sent a letter stating this.)
- I am having a contagious skin disease
- I am diagnosed with TB (The anti-TB drug did the magic when I had a fever of 105 degree celcius. The doctor ruled out the possibility of me having TB. Spouse knows this as well.)
- I am a useless husband and father
- I am having multiple relationships with many women in my office
- I am throwing allegations at my spouse

I am sure they expected me to react to the letter by harassing my spouse or have her send out of the house. I was advised by my lawyer not to react or bring any harm to my spouse. Either way, I would not have done anything like that since I never believe in getting something by harming or threatening anyone.

After all these attempts were proved futile, her mother and sister in law came home to talk to my parents. I was away at work then. My parents had told them that it was solely my decision and they do not have a role to play in my decision. My parents had told them about the letter and hearing it, they said they knew nothing about it. My parents asked them where were they for so long, they visited one of their kids in UK whilst this issue, why they did not even bother to talk though we asked them to come over. We asked them if they even attempted to talk to the counsellor that diagnosed her of having Borderline Personality Disorder. They did not have an answer to any of our questions, and walked away after 2 solid hours of talking.

Currently, she is playing cool, does not react in anyway. This is how it has been happening for almost 9 years. Whenever we have a fight or get separated, she would act as if she has changed herself, and will behave properly in future. Everytime (for almost 5 instances), I was fooled and after a couple of days, she shows her true color.

The date for our first hearing is on January 12. Now coming to my queries:

1. Can the letter be taken as a proof of harassment? Can this letter be used to lodge a defamation case against them?
2. Since we have already gone through the psychological counseling earlier, will we asked to go through it again? The counselor was none other than the person who takes care of psychological counseling at the court.
3. Although I am not reacting to anything of hers or her family, I am afraid I am losing my patience very fast. If I react harshly, will this go against me?
4. What if I respond to the letter over email to all of her family members? Will this go against me in anyway? I have understand that it doesn't pay enough to be so patient.
5. Since she is at home, will the petition be void and nullified? There is no mutual consent here, I have filed the mental harassment case.

Thanking everyone in advance for their guidance!!!

Why did you allow her to enter the house.

Now, the case is further complicated.

Also, don't think of defamation as yet, this is additional proof of cruelty in your divorce case.

@ Shonee bhai,

how can husband disallow wife from entering home ??

wont it account to cruelty ??

When divorce petition is in the court. You can deny.

Let her file a counter case of divorce on grounds of cruelty.

Regards,

Shonee Kapoor

harassed.by.498a@gmail.com

Thanks @Shonee...when checked with my lawyer, he had told that we cannot restrict her from getting into the house. I guess, even a recent court order indicated the spouse can be at her in-laws house until the divorce case is over.

As rightly said by Amit, my lawyer did convey the same. Probably the spouse and her family wants me to take some extreme step or behave cruelly when she is at home and when they sent the anonymous letter. He has told me to remain calm since this letter would also be taken as a charge for mental harassment.

Lawyer went on to say, they cannot file any case of harassment case since she is back home and no one come back home if he/she was threatened or harassed. This goes on to say, knowinly or unknowingly, they have done us a big deed by coming into the house.

Manoj, you have merit to the case also there are demertis to the case, unless and until you prove that merits of the case if will be difficult for you. Mental illness is difficult to prove unless and until you have a strong medical back up to prove. Also the court may have the opinion to make, how a mental ill women can take care her daughter and the stray incidents within the closed doors shall not have any backing if not coupled with medical evidence. She might turn the case against you to prove that she was sober and made a mental ill person after your creulty, the report that you shall submit that she is on boarderline disorder person. The mental ill person to be certified by a doctor after proper investigation.

The lettter send to your HR may be treated as a letter send by her, but you need to prove such belief.

Hello Dr. Victor - What you say is right. I do not think anyone can file a divorce petition without properly proof or back up. Ofcourse, the courts do conduct general and psychological counseling sessions for such cases. In my case, I did go for counseling much before I filed my divorce request. There are many issues to my case, one of it is the mental illness, "Borderline Personality Disorder."

I have a report provided by the psychologist to whom we had gone for counseling. The report clearly states, her behavior coupled by attitude, nature, characteristics are features of this disorder. The psychologist is the counselor at the court as well, so I guess, the court might take her report or summon her to substantiate her findings.

Manoj,

It is easy to refuse entry in the house than to force someone in the house out of it.

harassed.by.498a@gmail.com

Hello everyone - thanks to each one of you to have provided your valuable comments and suggestions. Nothing much has improved, excepting the dates keep postpoining. Its almost 10 months now since I filed my petition. Lots happened after that. I was taken to the police station, harassed by the police and my spouse and brother. Despite me asking for the copy of complaint, nothing was given to me. The women police told me to file an RTI and get the required information. I thought women police are humans too and they would understand the problems faced by people and I was proved to be wrong. We were made to wait for longer times, whilst the complainant were provided a royal treatment. The constables and inspector discussed amongst themselves asking what should they do to us since we weren't going by their terms. The lawyer had told this to the judge and the counseling session was cancelled. This is the only feel-good factor. Its been seven months since this happened and right after that they have been saying they would file a counter and until now, they haven't done so. I still receive cheap messages from her on my mobile, gtalk and yahoo messenger. I also get messages from IDs that does not even exist in my list citing that my spouse is involved in other cheap activities.

My lawyer has right now said he is going to appeal for expartee if they do not file a counter this week  (I have my hearing on Wednesday). How long does the court usually give time for filing a counter? If they do not file a counter this time, would asking for an expartee help in any way?