IT SEEMS YOU ARE AFRAID OF THE FUTURE..
One should learn to completely live with himself...be one with aloneness..without desires..and thoughts..in the STILLNESS..If you are "ONE" with aloneness..only then good things start happenning....
Live in the moment as if there was no past and future..but only this moment...and be a part of it...
Meditate..at least an hour a day. Objective of meditation is to read your mind....there is not bigger and stronger jail in the world than the human mind...if you can break free...then noting can imprison you..you are free...you are imprsioned by your negative thoughts..you are afraid because..you completely believe your negative thoughts to be true....( or may come out to be true in the future).
Human beings are split..there is the mind and there is the consciousness....the mind will think, it is the job of the mind to constantly think..look for the space from where thoughts are coming or are being generated...the silent space which is the Consciousness...once you have access to this silent space...you need nothing else...this silent space is the consciousness...and in its most pristine form...it is "YOU"
after you start meditating..you will see that...you have your thoughts (generated by the mind) and there is you...The thoughts are generated and they are in front of you like a movie...but you are not there.
Now the situation is that...you see a movie in the mind..in the movie you are the hero..and whatever happens to the hero..you "think" that it is happenning to you...later..after meditation..you will see that...you will be still there in the mental movie..but you will think that...it is just a movie and not true....you will be separate from your thoughts.
Remember you are not your thoughts (you will no longer derive a sense of self from the thoughts)..the thoughts willl no longer give you an identity (now you are sad because you are COMPLETELY BELEIVING YOUR THOUGHTS about the future...
Nothing is there in thsi world to fear...becuse.fear is in the future...and you are NOW..we are never afraid or tensed about the NOW..but only about the future...
When the future comes..and you take it then and there..there is no fear...once it comes...there is no fear...you will not be afraid..but you will struggle to come out of it..it will not be fear..but struggle..and dont bother for the struggle either...it is ingrained in you (humans and all living creatures)..to struggle..it happens automaticly...so there is nothing is fear or be tensed about...
Try to understand that...here is no past..no future...but only the present..this moment is all you have..once you are clear about this..you will have no fear..no tension..NO QUESTIONS...BECAUSE ALL QUESTIONS ARE ABOUT THE PAST AND THE FUTURE....
TRY TO REMAIN SILENT AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE...BY REMAINING SILENT YOU WILL MORE BE AWARE OF YOUR THOUGHTS...
REMEMBER..THE MIND IS A GREAT LIAR....NEVER BELIEVE IT..
REMEMBER..THE SECRET OF LIFE IS - TO DIE BEFORE YOU DIE - AND FIND THERE IS NO DEATH..
Gautam