@ Kavitha
You appear like a capable human , parent and head of household. Your situation has several dimensions and still developing.
1. Marriage registration - as the learned advocate has enlighted and there are several other posts of this nature which allude to the fact that lack of registeration of the marriage does not invalid the marriage.
2. Missing Husband. Where is he ? Why is he not answering your calls.
3. MIL threatening suicide.
For Issue #1: Marriage registration
A lawyer may be able to use the exisiting evidence in the form of photographs, letters etc and assist the marriage registeration. Both parties need to sign the marriage certificate - I can share my personal experience - we both signed. In your husbands absence, perhaps you may not be able to obtain such a certificate. ( Correct me if I am wrong LCI experts)
For Issue #2: Missing husband
- Try to contact mutual friends, his employer and try to locate him. You two are married and just because his mother has come to know of the secret marriage, he wants to escape reality. Perhaps the MIL is threatening him also of dire consequences if he returned back to you. You need to assertively and emphatically tell him to cut his umblical cord from his mom, grow his balls and return to matrimonial home.
- I would recommend that you maintain a log of your attempts to contact him and if in 2-3 days he doesnt return home, file a missing person report in your local police station.
For Issue #3: MIL harassment
-If I were you, I would make a polite prayer to the MIL in writing giving the past 5 year background and state that her son was a GROWN ADULT when he agreed to marry and he was in his senses when the marriage was solomnised in front of public....so kindly accept the reality and permit the couple to lead their lives...on these lines. Dont appear aggressive or dominating. Women-women battle may be worse than nuclear fall out !
-Put on record all the good things you have done for your husband.
-Close the letter with,"...wherefore, we seek your blessings to live a happy married life.". Here we = you and your husband. Dont write I, write we. It will show teaming of you and your hub.
-Get your parents to pay your MIL a respectable visit. Make the connection.
-I would recommend a police report for information only to protect your rights.
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There are several questions that your story raises.
1. What was your husband doing at home for 5 years ?
2. What is he doing now ?
3. Does he love your children ?
4. Have the children bonded with him ?
5. What do the children call him ?
6. Do you love him and does he provide for you- emotionally and otherwise.
7. What would prevent your husband from disclosing the marriage with his family. 5 years sounds like a long period to live in secrecy , unless you both were living in Andaman Nicobar islands or Kavaratti Islands. What is he ashamed of ?
8. How old is he ? What is the age difference between you and him ? Are you older to him ?
9. Do you have any children from him or plan to have children from this man ?
