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ganesh ( service)     10 July 2013

Marriage/divorce issue

Hi

I got married on 18th Nov 2012.Post marriage issues of money (her finances, stridhan), inlaws (adjustments, expectations), s*x (marriage is unconsummated as she did not want kids till a year),cooking, her dress sense cropped up. Further even on my birthday she did not wish me though I have celebrated her birthday well. Both of us are working professionals.

I had to go out of town with my parents (parents and I stay together) during financial year end (March 2013) and my wife could not accompany me as she had work pressure. So she went to stay with her parents. Before she went I had asked her to think over the above matters. This was approximately 4 months after our marriage. But matters were twisted to suggest that I and my parents had asked her to go. Her sister and her parents and relatives abused us in person and took my wife’s dresses and other belongings. We are now separated since and my wife despite my attempts to communicate refuses to answer my calls, emails, smses etc. She is not even prepared for counseling. Though we have wedding proofs there is no marriage certificate. I do not want to separate from my wife. She earns approx 70% of my salary.

Further I have written atleast half a dozen mails to her telling her to meet me and expressing my love for her and telling her that marriage, relationship needs to be worked upon but to no avail.I have also contacted her relatives on email. In mails to my wife and her relatives (in which she was copied) I have always been cordial and have maintained that whatever issues can be settled thru dialogue. I have maintained that I stay committed to the relationship and there is a need for independent meeting between my wife and me or in the presence of a marriage counsellor( I have given the marriage counsellors number to my wife thru email). The relative is insisting that I go to my wifes place (which I have not since we seperated) and discuss issues with her and her parents.

My queries.

1. Do you think whatever I have done is a good move so far & what else should I try or now just keep quite?.

2. Would it be a mistake to go to my wifes place as it can open ground for police cases?

3. What can be the possible action in future from my wifes side? Since their complete silence is a bit strange.

4. Can the court compel her to go for counseling (once she approaches for divorce) so that atleast viewpoints be exchanged?

5. How do I establish cruelty on her part towards me?

6. Since she is working what kind of alimony can she expect?



Learning

 13 Replies

shriks........... (healyhcare)     10 July 2013

1.send legal notice asking her to join......donot put much allegations which would create enimity....
2. another option is rcr filing , but problem is she would fire back with DV, maintenance or probably 498 allegations or cases.....

3. what you can face think pros and cons and act accordingly.........legalities are just to fortify dates of seperations which help in near future if cases go to court or complains go to police.......

1 Like

Adv k . mahesh (advocate)     10 July 2013

it is better to have a chat with her personally going to her house and discuss with her before taking any legal step may be you have taken lot of steps by mailing her but not personally 

if any abuses and manhandling occuers do not raise your voice and be patience after wards you can complain to the police about the incident and for rcr you have to wait for some more time because once you go legally your marriaged life will be at cross road 

so prepare well and attempt to talk to her personally and bring her home 

1 Like

alka (designer)     10 July 2013

hi mera naam alka hai ....2009 ma meri shadi huyi thi or meri 3 saal ki ek beti bhi hai...... lekin meri shaadi success nhi ho payi....mera 125(maintainance) ka case court ma chal rha hai....kya mai maintainance ke case  ke sath divorce ka bhi case dal sakti hu....isse mere maintainance ke case par koi farak to nhi padega....piease reply as soon as possible.....

ganesh ( service)     11 July 2013

Right thanks for the advice.


I have some doubts
1. If my wife files for divorce what can possibly be the grounds of divorce and what evidence could be shown to prove it?
2. If I have to show that my wife is cruel will the fact that I have written mails to her (So i have tried for reconcilliation) & she has not replied amount to cruelty
Further deliberately not wishing husband of his Birthday be a ground to establish cruelty?
3. I have audio recording of the abuse done by my fil. Is it a good proof?
4. Why is my fil insisting that I go to their residence to meet my wife. What is generally the motive?
5. My wife has not had s*x with me during honeymoon or 1st night as she did not want kids for a year. So isnt that an unilateral decision?
6. At home since we live in a small apartment with my parents & we plan to move to a larger house & because of pt 5 we did not
have s*x. Can my wife put a counter charge against me for refusal to have s*x & lack of privacy?


(Guest)
Originally posted by : alka

hi mera naam alka hai ....2009 ma meri shadi huyi thi or meri 3 saal ki ek beti bhi hai...... lekin meri shaadi success nhi ho payi....mera 125(maintainance) ka case court ma chal rha hai....kya mai maintainance ke case  ke sath divorce ka bhi case dal sakti hu....isse mere maintainance ke case par koi farak to nhi padega....piease reply as soon as possible.....

Beti, paisa mangna tumhara janam siddh adhikaar he.. Maango, zor se maango, divorce case bhi daaldo aur wahan bhi paise maango,  Paise maangna tumhara adhikaar hai, aur paise dena tumhare pati ka durbhagya hai..


(Guest)

You are thinking too much.

Originally posted by : ganesh


Right thanks for the advice.


I have some doubts
1. If my wife files for divorce what can possibly be the grounds of divorce and what evidence could be shown to prove it?

She can flie divorce on any of the following:

The following are the grounds for divorce in India mentioned under the Hindu Marriage Act, 1955.

Adultery – The act of indulging in any kind of s*xual relationship including intercourse outside marriage is termed as adultery. Adultery is counted as a criminal offence and substantial proofs are required to establish it. An amendment to the law in 1976 states that one single act of adultery is enough for the petitioner to get a divorce.

Cruelty – A spouse can file a divorce case when he/she is subjected to any kind of mental and physical injury that causes danger to life, limb and health. The intangible acts of cruelty through mental torture are not judged upon one single act but series of incidents. Certain instances like the food being denied, continuous ill treatment and abuses to acquire dowry, perverse s*xual act and such are included under cruelty.

Desertion – If one of the spouses voluntarily abandons his/her partner for at least a period of two years, the abandoned spouse can file a divorce case on the ground of desertion.

Conversion – Incase either of the two converts himself/herself into another religion, the other spouse may file a divorce case based on this ground.

Mental Disorder – Mental disorder can become a ground for filing a divorce if the spouse of the petitioner suffers from incurable mental disorder and insanity and therefore cannot be expected from the couple to stay together.

Leprosy – In case of a ‘virulent and incurable’ form of leprosy, a petition can be filed by the other spouse based on this ground.

Venereal Disease – If one of the spouses is suffering from a serious disease that is easily communicable, a divorce can be filed by the other spouse. The s*xually transmitted diseases like AIDS are accounted to be venereal diseases.

Renunciation – A spouse is entitled to file for a divorce if the other renounces all worldly affairs by embracing a religious order.

Not Heard Alive – If a person is not seen or heard alive by those who are expected to be ‘naturally heard’ of the person for a continuous period of seven years, the person is presumed to be dead. The other spouse should need to file a divorce if he/she is interested in remarriage.

No Resumption of Co-habitation – It becomes a ground for divorce if the couple fails to resume their co-habitation after the court has passed a decree of separation.

The following are the grounds for divorce in India on which a petition can be filed only by the wife.

  • If the husband has indulged in rape, bestiality and sodomy.
  • If the marriage is solemnized before the Hindu Marriage Act and the husband has again married another woman in spite of the first wife being alive, the first wife can seek for a divorce.
  • A girl is entitled to file for a divorce if she was married before the age of fifteen and renounces the marriage before she attains eighteen years of age.
  • If there is no co-habitation for one year and the husband neglects the judgment of maintenance awarded to the wife by the court, the wife can contest for a divorce.

Based on the Dissolution of Muslim Marriage act, 1939, a Muslim woman can seek divorce on the following grounds for divorce in India.

  • The husband’s whereabouts are unknown for a period of four years.
  • The husband has failed to provide maintenance to the wife for at least two years.
  • The husband has been under imprisonment for seven or more years.
  • The husband is unable to meet the marital obligations.
  • If the girl is married before fifteen and decides to end the relationship before she turns eighteen.
  • The husband indulges in acts of cruelty.

Let us check out the following grounds of divorce mentioned under the Indian Divorce Act, 1869.

  • Adultery
  • Conversion to another religion
  • One of the couples suffering from an unsound mind, leprosy or communicable venereal disease for at least two years before the filing of the divorce.
  • Not been seen or heard alive for the period of seven or more years.
  • Failure in observing the restitution of conjugal rights for at least two years.
  • Inflicting cruelty and giving rise to mental anxiety that can be injurious to health and life.
  • Wife can file a divorce based on the grounds of rape, sodomy and bestiality.

The following are the grounds for divorce in India included in the Parsi Marriage and Divorce Act, 1936 and the amendment of the same in 1988.

  • Continuous absence of seven years.
  • Non-consummation of marriage within one year.
  • Unsound mind provided the other spouse was unaware of the fact at the time of marriage and the divorce must be filed within three years of marriage.
  • Pregnancy by some other man provided the husband was unaware of the incident during the time of marriage and that he must not have undergone s*xual intercourse after he came to know about the situation. The divorce must be filed within two years of marriage.
  • Adultery, bigamy, fornication, rape, or any other type of perverse s*xual act.
  • Act of cruelty
  • Suffering from venereal disease or forcing the wife into prostitution.
  • Sentenced to prison for seven years or more
  • Desertion for two or more years
  • Non-resumption of cohabitation after passing an order of maintenance or a decree of judicial separation.

And she has to prove with evidence about the same, only then divorce will be granted.


2. If I have to show that my wife is cruel will the fact that I have written mails to her (So i have tried for reconcilliation) & she has not replied amount to cruelty

She not replying to mail does not amount to mental cruelty, but your futile efforts to reconcile will prove as mental cruelty.


Further deliberately not wishing husband of his Birthday be a ground to establish cruelty?

It is not necessary that wife should wish Husband on his birthday.


3. I have audio recording of the abuse done by my fil. Is it a good proof?

Very good proof, make multiple copies of the same and keep.


4. Why is my fil insisting that I go to their residence to meet my wife. What is generally the motive?

To get you arrested.  They surely will file a false case on you, and put you behind  bars.


5. My wife has not had s*x with me during honeymoon or 1st night as she did not want kids for a year. So isnt that an unilateral decision?

It up to you how to convince her to have kids.  But denying s e x to husband is a very good ground for divorce.


6. At home since we live in a small apartment with my parents & we plan to move to a larger house & because of pt 5 we did not
have s*x. Can my wife put a counter charge against me for refusal to have s*x & lack of privacy?

You are crying also and replying to your own query.  If there is lack of space, you should have moved in to a resort, or something of that sort and had a jolly good time there.  If lack of privacy is the issue at hand then you cannot do anything, either shift separately or forget having s ex. 

I really could not make out, what you are really up to.  What you really want.

ganesh ( service)     12 July 2013

Dear Helping hand

Just a clarification. Me making attempts to reconcile by writing mails using coordinal language. Are you saying that would be cruelty to wife. If yes, please tell me how the case would be made (what grounds).

Thanks for the advice

 

Ganesh


(Guest)
Originally posted by : ganesh

Dear Helping hand

Just a clarification. Me making attempts to reconcile by writing mails using coordinal language. Are you saying that would be cruelty to wife. If yes, please tell me how the case would be made (what grounds).

Thanks for the advice

 

Ganesh


You did not understand I suppose. You calling you wife..

Dear wife come back.

Darling please come back. etc etc

100 times you would haver called her to come back via email etc, if she does not come back to you means it amounts to desertion.  Desertion is a very good cause for seeking divorce.  You can file divorce petition based on this.


ganesh ( service)     12 July 2013

Right thanks.

Also how does one prove denial of s*x. Will merely stating the same prove it. What documentary evidence is required?

Adv. Chandrasekhar (Advocate)     12 July 2013

@ganesh,

None of you is entitled to file divorce case within one year of the marriage.  You cannot file divorce on the ground of desertion as desertion requires for two years.  You have withheld some vital facts, and due to that it is very difficult to give exact advice.

@alka,

aap maintenance case ke sath talaq ka bhi case dal sakti hey. Ek ka dusare ke upar asar nahi padega.

prithvi (je)     13 July 2013

I got x party divorce from lower court and remarry after 4 months of order date?

after 6 months my ex wife gives application to reopen ...although in my divorce suet she appears in starting with power of lawyer but never pursued for more then one and half year so judge proceed for x party and i got the order nearly in 2 years from date of filing . 
Now my question is if case reopens then is it possible that court solemnized my second marriage?

 

Additional Details

 i got x party divorce order and after 4 months i remarry 
and yes my x wife gives application for limitation and re open after 6 months

ganesh ( service)     13 July 2013

Hi

I would like to know what vital facts you are looking for. Please let know if you have any specific questions. I shall answer them

Thanks

Ganesh

ganesh ( service)     15 July 2013

Hello Mr. Chandrashekar

Do let know if there is any specific information that you are looking for. The same can be told.

Thanks

Ganesh


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