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Dhara (Cutomer Service)     25 March 2014

Want divorce and husband is not cooperating

My husband is not cooperating me for divorce. He is abroad and things didn't work out between us so our marriage didn't work out. Now i am planning to get married again since long time has passed and my husband is not coming india for any court proceedings. I do not have his address as he keeps changing his address. He came india for divorce but that time under the influence of my lawyer i filed 498a against him and he ran away from india when he found out about 498a. I filed Crpc 125 but the notices are not served since four years. According to my lawyers advice i filed ipc 406 mentioning the names of my inlaws and other family member but they didn't cooperate in any settlement at last my lawyer advised me to withdraw the case. Now my husband is saying that he is willing to give divorce only if i write down that all the cases which i filed against him are false but my lawyer is saying that if i do this then court will put me behind bars for lying in court. What are my options i am only 27 years and my life is ruined. I took wrong advice from wrong people and now i am suffering. On other hand husband is also stubborn and does not want to agree to my request as he doesn't trust me anymore and i am afraid if i take exparte divorce then he will come and harass me after my second marriage. Can someone advice me here.



Learning

 32 Replies


(Guest)

There are two approaches to your problems:


Emotional:  If you may wish to do so, you can give in writing that the cases you have filed against your husband are all false and concoted, and your main aim was not to lead marital life with your husband but to harass him to the core so that he will run away and you can get ex-parte divorce.  


Practical: Now you can just withdraw the 498a case and straightaway apply for divorce.  In the meantime send a message to your husband that you have file for divorce and that to agree for mutual consent divorce.  If he does not turn up, you will automatically get ex-parte divorce. End of matter.  Also withdraw the 125 crpc application too.


Whether he will come after you seeking revenge is just an assumption.  Now no use crying over split milk.  If it does happen, then be ready to face it legally.  ie if he troubles you.  If he does not, well and good.  But this time around if you get married one more time, dont make the same mistakes again which you did in experiment No. 1.  

 

 

AND YOU CAN NEVER BLAME ANYONE.. YOUR RELATIVES, YOUR PARENTS, YOUR LAWYER THAT THEY MISGUIDED YOU.  IT WAS YOUR DECISION.  PEOPLE MAY TELL 100 THINGS BUT YOU SHOULD HAVE A SANE MIND TO UNDERSTAND WHAT WILL BE THE IMPLICATIONS OF YOUR ACTIONS.  AND IT was YOU WHO SIGNED ON THE VAKALATH PAPERS, NOT SOMEONE ELSE.  So you alone are responsible for this debacle of your marriage.  Dont put blame on others.

 

Now always keep this thing in your mind.  Time and tide wait for none.  So get moving.

great india (manager)     25 March 2014

Best advice by helping hand. Ex partee divorce has appeal period 90 days file n pray he doesnt come to challenge. If he does then dont Blame him....its just a vengeance of 498....badlaa you call it. Compensate him with some money and plead sorry. I really feel proud for your husband he's a man of principles. Believe in god and apologize dil se. Kick the ones who gave wrong advises and slap youself in front of your husband. File a mcd if he appears. Get married and as rightly suggested dont experiment with husband no.2...... Gd luck

Dhara (Cutomer Service)     26 March 2014

So there is no way to stop my husband if he wish to file any case once he comes to india ? I am ready for divorce but he is extremely stubborn and he has kept everything in his mind and not willing to forget. I sent so many relatives,friends, neighbors to convince him but he does not want to cooperate until i write in written saying that the cases which i filed in court are false.

Northern Queen (Manager)     26 March 2014

Does your future husband know you filed 498a? If not, I hope he finds out before he commits himself to you. He should give you and all the other lying, scheming 498a trolls a wide berth. Are you also sleeping with him? If so, shame on you. You are committing Adultery. Oh, but don't worry, Indian woman get away with that offence don't they. They only hang your men. Pathetic law - so one sided.

 

You are just an ignorant and gullible woman, blaming everyone else for your mistakes and lying through your teeth to get your husband locked up just to get divorced. Didn't you know that those Advocates are called 'Sharks' for a reason.  They bleed the likes of you and innocent men dry to line their own pockets.  They don't give a damn if they break up families, damage childrens lives and put innocent men in jail.

 

So now you have realised you have done a terrible wrong and don't know how to get out of it.  You want to remarry, possibly spoiling some other poor mugs life in the process, because now you are a 498a troll - once you have done that, you are an untouchable.  You want to negotiate with your innocent husband but he won't play ball (he is innocent because you are so willing to drop charges so you can remarry, so that effectively means you made it all up, because If he was guilty you would have taken 498a it all the way)

 

You also roped all his family in too, accusing them of something which was just for affect so you would hold him to ransom to get a big payout and divorce. That is disgusting.  How would you like your parents to go through something like that.  Getting elderly people and children put in jail because you are a greedy witch is despicable. You married him not them!

 

Now you are crying because nobody wants to help you and you are stuck. Well that's your punishment dear. You deserve to be treated like this because of your ignorance.

 

Didnt you know that 498a is a non conzisable offence, that means it's non bailable and it has to go to court, so you either see it through you lying troll or you purjure yourself and admit you lied. Your choice, but expect no sympathy from anyone. And It will cost you money, time and considerable heartache in the process.  Good luck, you will need it.

 

Members, lobby the government to get this law changed so women like this one can't use it for divorce.  The real victims are the suffering because of these trolls. Fight this despicable law and save Indian families.

2 Like

somesh (na)     26 March 2014

i salute your husband lady

it would be better to give in writing and finish this matter here itself and lead a tension free life. nothing is beyond attitude and ego expect waste.

lassi mein jitna paani miloge utni badhegi

Reformist !!! (Other)     27 March 2014

A great fight shown by Indian Husband.... Truely inspirational, who actually taught you that filing these cases will ruin you only and he must be enjoying abroad . May god bless him !!!

1 Like

(Guest)
Originally posted by : Dhara

So there is no way to stop my husband if he wish to file any case once he comes to india ? I am ready for divorce but he is extremely stubborn and he has kept everything in his mind and not willing to forget. I sent so many relatives,friends, neighbors to convince him but he does not want to cooperate until i write in written saying that the cases which i filed in court are false.
 

There is a way, but you should do it, and dont hesitate... Lick his shoes in full public view.  The soles especially and then he may show some pity on you and let you go.  But I dont think nobody will ever want to marry you as you are a 498a case.  


These 498a girls/women are blacklisted in the matrimony market..  If you try to hide your 498a mindset, there are lots of ways your future would be will find out about this.  Even if someone agrees to marry you.  Just pray that nobody tells him about your past, even if you become Gandhi and tell it off, you still are putting a boulder on your own feet.  Just pray that your would be wont meet your ex-husband.  All in all your days ahead are doomed .


Even if you have understood your mistake, now its of no use.  Either fall to husband feet and ask him to forgive and accept you back, as the future marital prospects are equal to zero for you.  or try to open a center of help for women who want to file 498a and teach them what it can do to their lives.  Like that some of your sins might get washed.

The more you think of ugly ways to teach your husband a lesson, the more you will start to rot.


Dhara (Cutomer Service)     27 March 2014

Why am i getting these comments here ? I am here to find a solution to my problem and not take bullies from you all.

1 Like

498aindian (other)     27 March 2014

Then why are you wasting time here. Go and take solutions from those who had suggested to file false cases on your husband.

1 Like

hema (law officer)     27 March 2014

without bothering what your husband will do and will not do and can do and cannot do, file a divorce petition under the ground of desertion and cruelty and mention his last known address in the divorce petition.  If he does not appear or if the notice could not be served move an application for alternate mode of service, i.e., paper publication.  After publication, if he does not appear, the case will go as ex-parte.  After getting ex-parte decree wait for 90 days and go for a marriage with suitable guy.  After getting divorce, move appropriate applications in the courts where cases (especially criminal cases) are pending withdrawing the cases on the ground that you are going for another marriage.  Ninty days after ex-parte divorce, and after your marriage, he cannot do anything against you.  But ensure that you must disclose all the facts to your future husband about your strained relatiionship in the first marriage and how you were forced to file cases against him.  If he is a good fellow to understand these things in the right spirit, then only go for another marriage to avoid any bitter experience in your life.  JUST IGNORE THE ACERBIC COMMENTS YOU RECEIVE FROM MOST MALE MEMBERS OF THIS FORUM, BECAUSE THEY ARE JUST LIKE YOUR HUSBAND WHO HARASS THE LEGALLY WEDDED WIFE AND SEEK LICENCE TO HARASS HER FURTHER AND FACE SECTION 498-A. FROM THE WIFE AND REBUKES FROM THE MAGISTRATES AT REGULAR INTERVALS.

2 Like

498aindian (other)     27 March 2014

@ Hema have you also filed false 498a on your husband by force? that you are suggesting dhara to disclose her next husband again a false story. are you practicing illegal consultancy on forced 498a? plz throw some light on what is forced false 498a? It means lawyers,inlaws and other members of women make her to file false 498a on gun point.she don't have her brain to sense what is right for her?

Your suggestions to dhara is awkward and moreover pointing towards men.

2 Like

**Victim** (job)     27 March 2014

Done Done London :)........ lagta hai kisi pagal ko lalkara hai dhara ne. I can imagine that the guy has suffered to an extent that he doesn't care of any further legal consequences and he is waiting for the right time until the girl gets married. You will get divorce but can you stop him from dragging you to court for any further court cases ? Answer is big NO NO......you can't stop anyone from filing cases. No one is priviliged with such gift till date. What makes you think ? You filed several cases on your inlaws and ur husband's relatives. By doing that you have doubled enemies. The only way out is face the future cases filed by your husband and fight on merits. Based on your story i can tell that your life is already ruined. There is no way out......

 

Trust me - It is very easy to become a criminal but it is very hard to become complainant.

2 Like

Reformist !!! (Other)     27 March 2014

Hahaha.......... HEMA , you are such a innocent. 

 

UST IGNORE THE ACERBIC COMMENTS YOU RECEIVE FROM MOST MALE MEMBERS OF THIS FORUM, BECAUSE THEY ARE JUST LIKE YOUR HUSBAND WHO HARASS THE LEGALLY WEDDED WIFE AND SEEK LICENCE TO HARASS HER FURTHER AND FACE SECTION 498-A. FROM THE WIFE AND REBUKES FROM THE MAGISTRATES AT REGULAR INTERVALS.

 

>>>>>> Ms. Hema has given the judgment that all male members here are the ones who harrased their wives despite of knowing the fact that THE QUERIST IS THE ONE WHO FILED FALSE CASES.  
Facing false Sec498A is really made a fashion by unscruplous ladies like u.......God forbid me, but you people dont deserve any sympathy......100 Chuhe kha ke billi Hajj ko Chali.......to find a new BAKRA.....:P

Northern Queen (Manager)     27 March 2014

@Hema - your comments are not helpful and you have misunderstood the real issue behind this post.

 

Your women's organisations also cry out for equality - yet this law is far from it.  Discrimination against gender is illegal.

 

You have officially joined the ignorant person club!!

 

Members, lobby your government.  Get 498a changed so it can't be used as a divorce tool for these greedy trolls.  Divorce is not an offence!!  Separate the two.

 

Jail greedy Advocates and Fake 498a troll wives when cases are thrown out of court.

1 Like

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