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rosy preetha lakshmi (house wife)     07 August 2014

Divorce due to mental torture

Hi all,

.We both are remarried couples on our firstnight  he revealed that husband is impotent.I came to know that 2 of his family members his grandmother and mother's sister are having mental problems.He gets agitated for small problems,very aggressive,not able to judge or perform his duties as husband to me.He is like a momma's boy too and verbally and physically abusive.He fights often even for very small things and not able to control his anger and he has lots of mood swings.....His parents slap him and try to get control over him ,he looks like normal person only to outside world.We never had any intimate time or he never treated me as his wife.He often plans for a fight and we both are more like room mates.Even many night times ,he makes me not to sleep and keeps arguing and arguing and laughs during fights at nights and leaves home at 3-4 am and comes back and cries to me asking me to apologize.After 2 days he again says i was wrong.He is not stable .I tried to help him but he puts me in blame with the help of his parents.He creates records and i dont why he should do all these.Even if i initiate to talk he keeps silent and said there is no need for him to talk to me.He doesnt want to take baby as well and not interested in me .He seems to be like a homos*xual too.I tired many times to pacify him but efforts are useless.He doesnt admit his problems to doctors .There is no connection between us and he cant be a man to take care or love his wife .



 3 Replies

M.Sheik Mohammed Ali (advocate)     07 August 2014

where are you from ? if you are in chennai.

call me.

Prasad (Systems Engineer)     07 August 2014

Hi Rosy...
 
If you have lost trust in your husband and also lost trust in yourself to 
save your marriage, then the option is very simple and straightforward.
 
File a divorce case stating that your husband is not potent.
If your husband is really not potent, he will not appear in the court.
You will get ex party divorce.
 
But if your husband appears in court to prove his potency,
then both of you will be told to go for medical examination.
He has to prove his potency to fail your case.
You have to prove that you are not consummated to win your case.
 
Else, if you have still have some trust left in your husband and in yourself,
give sometime. You continue to stay in your parents house.
Then talk to your husband and try to save your marriage.
Otherwise, try to apply for mutual consent divorce.
 
As it is a remarriage for both of you, it will certainly require lot of patience
to establish trust and love. Make sure you have tried your best to save your marriage.
 
Even if your husband has a real medical potency issue,
As per doctors, Impotency is completely treatable in most cases.
The treatment requires co-operation from both the partners.
 
 

(Guest)

No lesson learnt from debacle number one.


This is debacle number two.


You blame him. 


He blames you.


You both have hangover of last marriage.  


It appears that your husband is just beginning to let himself known to you, its a process, in the same way you too have to maintain a balance by letting know what you feel and want.  


Blaming wont lead to any good.  It will lead to more chaos.


One is fuming, other should be silent.  Adjustment is the name of the game which implies mental compatibility.


More over, there should be a need to lead marital life in both of you, which I do not see in either of you. 


Time to retrospect, not just to find reasons to part ways, but to move ahead in marriage.


You could call me for any advice regarding how to take it forward from here.


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