Domestiv violence

priya..

a few points.

1. u can always go to women cell / police first and complaint against your mother in law and your husband, who is supporting her. this would surely put brakes on their harrassment as u have mentioned.

2. but if you leave the house which is in the name of your mother in law...you would not get anything at all as a share. BUT, is your husband willing to leave the house and live away from his mother ?? If, he does and can support you and your kid in a rented house, do not waste a day. Atleast you will be happy in whatever limited means you have ...forget the share of peoperty etc etc. focus on your child's future and give him good education. If your husband is a good man, he would earn much from his hardwork..

3. Other best option is make your parents involve in all this .... or any senior common family member and try settling things out. Talk to your husband , if he understands...he il always support you then. If he doesnt , then senior memmbers of family should intervene.

4. If nothing is possible, then go ahead and file a complaint against them in police.. or atleast start threatening them... am sure they will men their ways then.

Divorce should be the last option.. (am facing it and i say it with experience)

 

Women who have the most problems with their mother-in-laws tend to be the same women who don't get on with their own mothers

jealousy puts up barriers in these relationships. 'Daughters-in-law often envy the relationship between mother and son and want to replace that relationship with themselves. Meanwhile, mother-in-law wants her son looked after in the way only she can, which is of course impossible, unless the daughter in law is her clone.'

The more confident you are about your position in her son's life, the easier you'll get on.

'If you let things lie, and never tackle her, it will cause problems not just between you and her, but also between you and her son.'

An an Indian woman, you have many laws protecting your rights and as a married woman, you have enormous powers to wreak vengeance against your husband, mother in law, brothers in law, sisters in law, etc.  I think even you are aware of all such laws.  But have you ever thought what will happen to your future and that of the your kids after taking such stern legal actions against all those.  I never ask you to always lie low and take everything, but the normal wear and tear shouldnt be bloated to the extent of breaking the wonderful institution called marriage.  The problems you stated above are just normal in every household, which can be rectified by many means other than the legal action.  The legal action namely domestic violence or a police complaint will have adverse impact on the future marriage career and it may have more adverse impact on the lives and future of your kids too. Despite this if you want to know whether you can complain against your mother in law  against her cruel acts against you, you have lot of options to take vengeance on her legally, by lodging complaint with the local police u/s 498A and by lodging another complaint under the provisions of POWADVA with the Women Cell. Further, if the property was on your father in law's name, upon his intestate death, your husband is entitled to an equal share in the property, your mother in law cannot claim full rights over it and she cannot  force you and your husband to vacate the house.

@Dear Advocates

 

How can the author file a 498a case when the mental cruelty that she was facing is not of the gravity that would lead a woman to commit suicide? Please show me judgements of that effect where she can file a 498a complaint merely on the basis of incompatibility issues with MIL. Is there any other activity in life other than filing false cases and increasing the litigation in family lives? Just terrorize for no serious reason and throw the guy's family on DIL's feet. Author doesnt want to leave the house for her own selfish reasons. If she is a begger then she should behave like one.

 

As learned people, please enlighten me if  you are on the MIL payroll/ counsel, what would be your stand, how will you fight her case?

 

@Author

Do you/your husband have no shame left in you? You are dependent on your MIL and on top of that u r staying in your MIL's house on her mercy but want to file false cases on her. Shameless people. You have the balls to trouble an elderly woman but cannot live on your own. Do you really deserve a family/marriage? Why do you even talk about property? I can imagine how crooked you are, what kind of a person you are. People like you are the sole reason for so many elderly people ending their lives in old age homes. You are a sick idiot.

repeated query

Priya ,whatever you had stated in your post i think it is a very comman thing when you are living in a family or with family members , before marriage when you are residing with your parents they had never scolds you on doing wrong or when you fights with them for any small negligence , in the loud voice if yes then that also comes under domestic violence had you ever filed any DV case against your brother , parents etc ... NO then similarly here your mil is like your real mother , treat and behave properly with her give respect to your mil , husband , normal wear and tear are going on each and every family , so forget to file dv or other case and live with her as a daughter . forget and do avoid to grab the property of your in- laws after her the only son is the owner of that property or if you play illegal tactics to get it immediately then you really loose it , if the property is in her name she has unlimited rights over it , i again alarm you not to spoil your married life by your own hand .

@ Dear Stalker

We are not dependent on her financially.Infact we pay all the bills and the grocery too..We dont want to leave the house .We cannot afford to buy a house.And moreover its also  because my mother in law is such a lady that she will blame me later saying I took her son away from her.She will tell her relatives and my SIL/BILs. ...Its never me who start the fight...Its always her .And she is the one who  troubles me ..Even when I was pregnant she  used to fight wid me...and was ready to raise hand on me but my husband stopped her..And yes she has given me mental torture that lead to thinking of commiting suicide but I did not...coz I want to live.live  for my baby ...

@Dear Advocates 

Thank you all 

@Sis

 

The best solution for your problem is to find a rented house and move with your family. But make sure you do that gently by taking your husband into confidence. These complaints, courts are for very serious offenses and they are like brahmastra's, you should know when to use them. Once you start such proceedings, take it for granted that your marriage will be irretrivebly broken.

 

Any 10th class failed advocate will tell you to file complaints, what is there in misuse and its their bread and breakfast, so he will stoop to such a level.

Try to find civil ways for your problem, and get yourself financially stable. You cannot blame someone else for your problems. Good luck.

A nice reply given by @stalker..

My concern to the author(Lady) of the original query:

1. Have you ever filed or lodged any complaint against your mother or father when they have scolded you,beaten you or not followed your words?

2. Why don't you fight for your own rights on property which is with your parents name?

3. Don't you know that an amendment been made in hindu succession act 2005 that daughter will also get equal shares in the fathers and grand fathers property?Then why don't you think to grab such stakes by filing false cases on your parents?

Now,

Conclusion:

1. You are here to ask the ways how to harass your old MIL to grab her properties along with your Husband.

2. You are a such a freak and greedy lady that you will come to know after 15 years of your life when you will become at the age of your MIL.

3. If you think that you are an Idle wife,DIL and mother of a child then you are absolutely wrong because a woman who carries these all three tags will never think of filing cases and thinking of grabing the property of other person.

4. I am no where to curse you but definitely your deed will curse you and your tears will ask such questions after 15 years.Make a note.

Sudhar jao,,,agar sahi me marne ke waqt aapne aap ko pap mukt karna chahti ho toh.

otherwise your life is well written by God.Don't worry.

Good luck.

@ author 1. for a time being go to your mothers house for few months. start stayong there telling her uv come permanently. after few months you own mother would become restless and would start taunting. if no taunts n taanas your lucky, but if she and your neighborhood taunts have guts to tolerate. 2. stay for few more months now youll automatically would feel and increased level of tolerances threshold. 3. this would help at your mil's house. 4. seperation of few days breaks the ice abd would automatically make you realize ur stand dont mind but hindi word is AUKAAD in life... it helps..... try it......

The only thing to the Lady: I wish the same thing happens when your son grows up & your daughter in law sues you in similar allegations......hope the God will show you the wheel of Dharma for the Karma you are doing right now.

I would suggest to settle the issue amicable and perhaps the keep the court's intervention as the last Resort..

 

Regards

Chetan(dot)7679(at)gmail(dot)com

@Every Sufferer is a Saviour...

I am not here to ask ways to harass my old MIL or to grab her properties.It was just a simple question and the ans was simple too.Either yes or no.I have not done,and will never do any such deed that will bring tears in my eyes after 15 years.

Aur paap mukt k liye marne ka intezaar hum nahi karte hum toh kai saalon se ache karm karte aaye hain.. 

And the question to your ans is No.I have never filed any complaint against my parents because they dont behave like my MIL.They dont talk like her..

Anyways thanks for your reply...

@pallab

Even I believe in Karma.Hence I knw whatever my MIl is doing to me she will get that in return somehow...God is watching all of us...

@great india

Thanks for your suggestion.Yes I could try that but I am not a coward to run away from problems.hence facing it.Yes Mujhe meri Aukkad bahut acche se pata .Lekin saamne wale ko bhi aukaad mein rehna chahiye  .Koi kuch bolta nahi,kamzor samajhkar faayda bhi nahi  uthana chahiye na ..

@Chetan Joshi

thanks..I will keep that in mind.Will keep that as a last resolution..

 

Thank you all... 

The quereist is the perfect specimen of 498A bahu, drowned in ego....who will not give an inch to anybody nor adjust with anybody. These kind of woman are always aware of their rights in sasural , but never aware of their duties. They only want to fight and have no patience. She didnt come here looking for advise ... they just come to confirm their pre-concieved notions and react violently when they are proven wrong... As prem chopra correctly said "Bhains k aage been bajake koi fayda nahin, woh gana nahin gaayegi... gobar hi karegi "