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hidden   14 July 2015

How to get divorce from wife

Hi All, 

I am from Gujarat. and since 2009 living in New Zealand, on work visa.

I married as indian Act in mid of 2009. we have 1 daughter, she is 16months now. and since last 10 months we are seperated. my daughter in india with my family. and i am living in NZ and my wife also in NZ under temeporary visa. we both living in different cities. 

i want divorce from my wife and permanant legal custody of my daughter. 

but my wife and her parents don't want to give me divorce and neither want to solve problems. so, in such case what i can do ... Any suggestion.. 

Thanks

 

 



Learning

 18 Replies

Arun Samota (Lawyer)     14 July 2015

Why ur wife living in other city?

hidden   14 July 2015

Because we seperate.. and dont want to live together..

but her parents dont want her to give divorce...

Arun Samota (Lawyer)     14 July 2015

Yes, both of you can get divorce by mutual consent by filing divorce petition.

hidden   14 July 2015

yes i know about mutual consent..

but her parents dont want to give divorce.. 

Prasad (Systems Engineer)     14 July 2015

Your daughter needs her mom.

 

You and wife may continue to live separately.

 

But share the responsibility of your daughter and give your daughter her right to live with both of her parents.

 

Let your wife go to court first. Then you can respond accordingly.

 

If you go to court, your wife will comfortably run away with your daughter, your hard earned money and your life. 

 

 

Indianl marital legal system supports and trusts women than men.

 

 

 

 

 

Anand   14 July 2015

Hello Mr. Hidden sir,

So you have been separated from your wife for more than two years, correct? Does she also want divorce but is being pressured by her parents to not dissolve marriage?

 

SuperHero (Manager)     14 July 2015

@hidden - Why do you want to get divorce? I agree there are Problems and misunderstandings between you and your wife. Every couple has problems.

Not everybeing is perfect. Remember if you show 1 finger at the other person, there are 3 fingers pointing towards you.

Leave aside your EGO and think twice. Try to reconcile if possible. Think about your daughter's future once again. 

What do you want to do after divorce?

Both are separated so both are enjoying bachelor life and your daughter is staying with Grandparents.  

It is not possible if Women doesn't want to give divorce and especially in India. It will take many Years.

If both of you have lost Love, Trust and Respect. Then only enter into in the court or I would rather say Happy roaming court.

MCD is the best option 6 months - 1 Year.

Contested Divorce - 1 - Many Years...

 

Anand   15 July 2015

With all do respect SuperHero, I completely agree that they should reconcile if possible given they have a child. However, if things aren't working out then he should know what his options are for divorce and I would most certainly try and keep the divorce in New Zealand and not India. He will go through hell if wife and child run to India and she initiates divorce there.

 

Mr. Hidden, you can read about divorce process in New Zealand here: https://www.justice.govt.nz/family-justice/separation/divorcing - you will need to be separated for two years and the court will need to be satisfied that adequate arrangements have been made for the caring of children. 

 

I would suggest that it is your best interest to have yourself, your wife and your child in New Zealand first and try to reconcile. If that doesn't work, then separate in New Zealand and apply for divorce and make the proper child care arrangements. Further, is your child a "New Zealander" (NZ passport & born in NZ) or Indian? If the former, once your child is in New Zealand, you can ask the court for an 'Order Preventing Removal' to stop your wife from taking your child to India if you fear this can happen (read more here: https://www.passports.govt.nz/Preventing-Children-Being-Taken-from-New-Zealand#prevent)


Speak to a lawyer in New Zealand to confirm what the best options for you are.

hidden   15 July 2015

Thanks everyone for reply..

 

It been only 10 months that we were seperate .

i try to solve the problem but it not only that i have to compromise each and everytime.

my ex.wife doesn't want to live with me...neither she want to give me divorce.

and after divorce, my daughter will live with me.. and then after couple of months i will look for better life partner.. 

becuase my daughter is now only 16months.. but she need mom.. i understand that...

My ex.wife doesn't understand and she was not thinking about our daughter.. 

hidden   15 July 2015

By d NZ law.. we need to live 2 years separate and then i can apply for divorce..

but in india.. we can go mutual divorce and it only 6months time peiod.. if both parties agrees.

it been 10 months now.. i stay 5 months in india.. and try to solve the problem.. but her parents 

dont have time to meet me..

and they doing nothing... and i am only worried about my daughter.. 

SAINATH DEVALLA (LEGAL CONSULTANT)     15 July 2015

Is she willing to come to India for MCD? Why was UR daughter left with UR parents in India depriving her of parental love?

hidden   15 July 2015

No she dont want to come to india.. 

and right now i am living as paying guest. so thats why my parents taking care of my daughter.

i can't stay in india for long time.. because my ex.wife and her family threaten me that, they will false complain about me in police.. and in India Woman's always right.. 

 

Anand   15 July 2015

Mr. Hidden, it sounds to me like your wife doesn't want to live with you nor does she want to keep the daughter. Yet she doesn't want to give you divorce possibly due to the shame it would cause her family.

 

My suggestions: 1) stay separated from your wife and let her and her parents make efforts to reconcile, if they want to. 2) as she doesn't seem interested in your child, keep her in your custody in New Zealand and ask a lawyer/the court to grant an 'Order Preventing Removal' just in case she tries any funny business and runs away with the child. 3) do NOT succumb to her threats; compile solid proofs that you tried to reconcile with her and her parents and attempted to arrange joint care for the child (print out all key conversations, phone records and phone calls, store this safely and share it with your parents) but she and her family weren't interested in fixing marriage and are making you suffer by not granting divorce. 4) the hardest part in all this will be the means by which you will divorce. It looks like you will have to file for a contested divorce in India on the grounds of cruelty and desertion by wife (by using the proofs I mentioned in point 3). You could file for divorce in New Zealand only if it is by mutual consent. An 'ex-parte' divorce (a divorce forced on her without her consent) from a New Zealand court will not be valid in an Indian court and is not a good idea.

 

ONE VERY IMPORTANT OTHER POINT: In most western countries including New Zealand, I hope your wife realises that as she is not wanting to be the primary caretaker of the child nor even take any responsibility for the child (it is her legal obligation to do so), that the court may force her to pay child support from her wages. Further, if you decide to divorce her through the NZ court, that it is highly likely she will need to pay you alimony (i.e, most of her savings, investments and property) and child support till the child is an adult. Inland Revenue has the power to take part of her salary and give it to you for child support. Check this with a lawyer and be very careful on what you plan to do with this information. If she realises this it will get her and her parents' attention guaranteed and she may flee back to India with the child and turn nasty. Hence it is very important that you secure custody of child first and compile all the proofs to protect you and your family's interest in the case of divorce/police harassment.

SuperHero (Manager)     15 July 2015

@Anand - Even if he files divorce in NZ with all proper planning and consultation with lawyer.

Wife will flee to India and will file DV, 498a and all other cases to extract money. If she doesn't flee and if she agrees to give Divorce then all is ok.

The reason being they both got married in India and there Marriage certificate has been issued in India. 

@hidden - as long as you don't go to India, you will be safe. They can just threaten your Parents thats all. Nothing more than that...

I wish you Good Luck.


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