Dear Sir,
I am a male married for 3.8 yrs having a kid aged 2.6 yrs. Currently suferring from mental and physical abuse from my spouse. This started some 2 yrs back when we were abroad for some time i didnt notice her mental behaviours when i was abroad as everyday i went to work . Used to have lot of fights and abuses from her.She always used to
1. Harm herself (This was done nearly 4 times)
2. Threaten me if i dont surrender myself in all means but still will says that she loves me.
3. abuse emotionally and physically. Finally making me to cry and she would also cry. She will keep beating/fighting with me till she gets to a conclusion. Finally will say that i have won and she has lost. Baby was just 8 months old at that time
Well she did had 2 abortions abroad - 1 via tablets and other via surgical treatment. It was a roller coaster ride weekends were full of fights , she beat me and retailated back . Though i am not strong believer of kicking females i had to do so afer lot of emotional stress.
I initially it was because of depression due to pregnancy . Now it seems she has lot of issues in her body which were unnoticed before marriage. She is blaming me and my father/mother for everything
We came to back to india 10 months back , but for past 8 months we lived seperately. She stayed back at her mother house and myself at my father house. During this 8 months period , she tried drinking poison once at my house, i along with my parents stopped it and called her mother to take my wife back. Later my wife/kid travelled back to my inlaws place and stayed there for 8 months. Just 2 months she came back saying she has changed that she wont do any non sensical things of drinking poison or washing liquid . Later with help of elders i asked my wife to write a letter with following agreed points.
1. I wont do any self harming
2. I wont beat my husband, i will obey his words
3. I will allow my husband to talk and interact with his parents
4. I will visit psychiatrist and undergo his recommendations
5. Some one from my family will stay with us.
i also signed the same letter with the point saying that "I wont beat her at any cost".
For the past 2 months we are staying alone , for the first 10 days her father stayed with us. But later he left home to look after his business . I also agreed to it as i thought that she has changed to normalcy. But now for past the 10 days she is again behaving abnormal way - fights and abuses which happened abroad. I was under mental and physical abuse. Due to mental stress i didnt go to office for nearly 4 days . Now i am really worried if this keeps continuing - i will lose my job. I am really worried.
Well we did visited 2 psychiatrists 1 month back , when we visited the first doctor (male) - she didnt say anything. Considering the situation doctor asked us to write our thoughts in paper, i wrote all my feelings. But she didnt write anything instead called up her parents asked what to do . I felt restless due to her behaviour then later she said she will come to a lady doctor as she couldnt express anything.Later that doctor called me and said that she might be suffering from "personality disorder". Thought i didnt believe that .
Then later i took her to another female doctor (psychiatrist). My wife nearly spoke for 3 hours in a seperate session and i felt relived as she had expressed everything. Then after the session , doctor called me alone inside and she asked my pain points. Then finally she said she is suffering "borderline personality disorder".
When i discussed with my parents /psychiatrists they are asking me to live seperately for some time , if possible applying for divorce. I also heard that divorce is not easy in my case as "Borderline personality disorder" cannot be considered as a reason for divorce. I also may need a medical report for that.
I am now thinking of seperation via court. Over this 2 months she agreed that we dont have that much affecton towards each other . During night times she agrees that mutual seperation is good but in the morning she talks differently. She keeps talking in different tones. Now am really worried that she/her parents wont even allow to live peacefully by granting divorce or mutual consent based seperation.
Please kindly help me on how to proceed on this. I do have a kid but not sure wat future holds.
