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Cataluna   13 May 2016

I want divorce from my wife

I apologize for the long post but I feel I should give an honest and proper background regarding my marital problems so that people do not have difficulty in understanding the issues involved.

  1. I am the only son of my parents.
  2. My father sold his paternal house to finance my legal education in 2004.
  3. We started living as tenants since 2004.
  4. I completed my Bachelors of Law (Honours) in 2009.
  5. We started living as tenants in the house of my future wife’s father since May 2010.
  6. Thereafter, I went to study Masters of Law in the UK in 2010 on a partial international scholarship with the rest being financed by an education loan from a bank for which my father mortgaged his shop. The EMI for the said loan was in excess of Rs. 40,000/- per month. In the first two years (2010-2012) we only had to pay the interest on the education which was nearly Rs. 15,000/- per month.
  7. After completing my education in UK, I had to return to India in 2012 after the UK government stopped issuing the post-study visa to foreign students in 2012.
  8. Subsequently, I secured a job in India in early 2013 and relocated from my native city to a different city.
  9. I returned back to live with my parents in late 2013 after leaving the afore-mentioned job.
  10. My mother, who is a diabetic and vertigo patient since 2011, had become good friends with my future wife’s mother and she constantly used to ask my mother to have me and her elder daughter married off ever since my return from the UK.  
  11. My wife’s parents have two daughters, the elder one being my wife.
  12. When the marriage was arranged between me and my wife, my father told her parents that we are going through a tough financial situation and even showed them our loan documents and how much EMI we had to pay every month and will not be able to spend for the wedding.
  13. During the period from 2012-2014, my future wife had been working in a off-role capacity for some company in Mumbai.
  14. My future wife was two years older than me.
  15. Her parents had been trying to marry her off ever since she completed her MBA degree in 2010 without much success. She also had a sight problem and we cam to know later that she could not see out of her left eye.
  16. Her parents, at first, decided to bear all the expenses for the wedding despite us informing them that we were not in such a sound financial condition to bear the expenses of a wedding.
  17. Our marriage was fixed in the last month of 2013 and was schedule to take place in January 2014. During this one month period, her parents renegaded on several instances towards meeting marriage expenses. My wife’s mother used to have loud fights with her mother-in-law in full view of several guests and they have a history of not getting well together.
  18. We, in fact, had to stop our loan EMI payments for three months to meet certain expenses for the wedding.
  19. We did not ask for any dowry and the marriage was conducted in January 2014.
  20. Two months after the wedding my wife’s father got transferred out of the city as he worked for a bank and started demanding excess rent from us to the one we were paying him.
  21. My wife became pregnant in March 2014 but decided against keeping the baby as she said that she wanted to focus on her professional career and did not want to have kids within one year of marriage as her mother had told her not do so. She underwent a medical abortion which did not go down well with my parents.
  22. After the wedding, my wife took an active interest in cooking and used to take half of the meal cooked everyday to her parents to which my mother objected. My wife first threatened for a divorce over this tiff she had with my mother.   
  23. I got a job outside my hometown and shifted with my wife in mid 2014.
  24. I used to work night shifts on daily occasions and my wife used to talk to her mother everyday for 3 hours at the very least on the telephone and asked me daily to recharge her mobile so that she can talk to her mother. Her mother did not use to call her but just gave a missed call to her everyday soon as I left for work.
  25. Disliking the job scene and meagre payments in India, I decided to return to education in the UK this time accompanied by wife for whom I paid for and scheduled an IELTS test.
  26. During the time I was out of my home town with my wife, her parents used to put a lot of pressure on my parents to either increase the rent or vacate the house while at the same time keeping a person who was my wife’s mother’s neighbor in her hometown rent free.
  27. My wife did not manage to pass her IELTS exam and was unable to accompany me to the UK.
  28. My father again took an education loan to send me to the UK. I touched down in the UK in November 2014 but had to return back to India immediately as the bank I took the education loan from forwarded the entire education loan amount to the university where I was planning to study which was against the rules in the UK and hence my enrollment was cancelled. The University, however, returned the entire education loan amount back to my bank and we were saved from financial ruin.
  29. Ever since the marriage (my wife left her job one month after the marriage), we were making the mutual funds payments for my wife in excess of Rs. 4,000/- per month and also making payments for her medicinal costs in excess of Rs. 5,000/- per month for a skin diseases which her parents used to treat with ayurvedic medicine before marriage. She had not even seen a doctor about her skin condition before marriage on the fart that her parents would have to pay money for medical treatment.
  30. When I returned from the UK in 2014, my father-in-law told my father to either increase the rent by Rs. 1,000/- per month or vacate the house. He even got someone to make a fake call from the bank to my father. The said person from the bank told my father over the telephone that since my father-in-law had taken a home lon from the bank where he worked and has not been making monthly payments towards home loan, the tenants (us) have to vacate the house so that the bank can find a new tenant to make a higher rent payment which would directly go to the bank which we found very odd as it was unheard of a bank telling the tenant to vacate the house because the landlord was not making EMI payments to the bank.
  31. My wife’s grandmother also used to complaint to us about the shabby treatment meted out to her by her son (my father-in-law) and his wife (my mother-in-law) even to the extent of keeping her starving for days.
  32. We eventually vacated the house and took another house on rent miles away from my in-laws residence in the final month of 2014.
  33. In the very same month I finally got a government job which miffed my wife who told me “I am not really happy with you getting a job as it means I will have to stay with your parents.”
  34. One month after we had vacated my in-laws house, my wife’s grandmother developed certain heart condition and had to be admitted in the ICU. My wife went to see her and told me over the phone that she was not coming back simply because I had not accompanied her to see her grandmother at the hospital. My government job involved a lot of travelling and hence I was unable to accompany her to see her grandmother the very day she had been admitted in the hospital but I promised that I will come visit her grandmother the very next day.
  35. I went to my in-laws the very next day as I had promised only to be berated by my mother-in-law as to why I did not accompany my wife the night before and that my wife will not come back. I managed to cool down the situation and returned back to my place with my wife the same day.
  36. In February 2015, my mother fell very ill and had to be rushed to emergency care. Being a small family, me and my father had to take care of everything including arranging money for her treatment. During this time, my wife never used to do any household chores and would spend her time reading newspapers the whole day and talking to her mother on the phone non-stop. Even when she was in the hospital right by my mother’s bed, she never used to ask my mother how she was feeling but always used to tell her mother how much money was being spent on the medical expenses for my mother.
  37. Things cooled down until June 2014, when my father-in-law came back and fell sick. My wife told me that she will need to stay with her parents till her father got well and stayed there for nearly a month. I went to see her father twice during this period and when I came to pick my wife up, my father-in-law told my wife that I had not asked about his health which lead to my wife abusing me for days.
  38. My wife’s younger sister who was working in Mumbai as well, was kicked out of by her flat mates for stealing her flat mates’ clothes for which my wife accused me for not supporting her financially.
  39. My wife had drawn out a LIC policy for which her mother was a nominee for which she asked me to make the premium payment for which I refused as we were hardly able to save any money given our own loan commitment. To make the LIC payment, my wife borrowed money from a friend behind my back and lied to her parents that I had made the premium payment.
  40. I found that that my wife’s MBA degree was from a non- UGC recognized college when she failed an interview and got her admitted into an MA Economics course at a local governmental university so that she can complete her master’s education. However, my wife had already crossed the age limit and was hence admitted as a private student rather than a regular student and that too at the request placed by my father to the Vice-Chancellor.
  41. My wife’s grandmother passed away in September 2015 and she returned to her parent’s house. I and my father was at her funeral and my wife decided to stay with her parents for the mourning period of 13 days for which we had no objection. The odd thing, however, was that her sister only came from Mumbai for a day to attend her grandmother’s funeral and left soon on the pretext that she was not getting any holidays from her office.   
  42. One my wife returned from her parent’s house, she turned really hostile and violent towards us. She accused me not helping her parents with money, she used to blame me that since her parents had no son I should assume the responsibility of her son. She threatened to kill my parents by slitting their wrists while they sleeping. I tried to control the situation by calming her but to no avail. She told me to split from my parents or else she will leave me which I refused blatantly. Eventually, she left our rented house in October 2015 on her own will and returned to her parents’ house.
  43. Around Diwali last year, me and my parents went over to their house to make peace but her mother did not let her come before us and told her that my wife wants to talk to me alone at a time of her choosing.
  44. They closed all communication and her parents come over to my office in February to threaten me that if I don’t leave my parents they are going to resort to police action against me to which I paid no heed.
  45. It had been close to seven month since we have been living separately.
  46. A guy also messaged me on FB some lewd pictures of my sister-in-law. He told me that my sister-in-law has been harassing him for marriage and had been sending nude pictures of her to him. He told me to advise her and had also messaged the same thing to my wife.
  47. At this point of time, I feel very frustrated and all I want to do is take proper care of my ageing parents with some peace.
  48. My wife even FB messaged my cousin brother lying to him that my father had thrown her out of the house and she cannot stay in same house as my father because she is afraid of him.  
  49. Therefore, I have decided that divorce is the right way forward.

 

I thank the readers for reading the post with patience and is looking for suggestions and legal advice on how to proceed with the divorce case against my wife. Thank you.   



Learning

 4 Replies

Eerangere Sana (Excellent Lawyer)     13 May 2016

Take mutual divorce, throw money  on her face and kick her out.  File 13b joint petition in Family Court.  Thats the best thing to do.  Being only son, at least now look after your parents, marrying is really of no use.  If you find mentally compatible partner, go for live-in relations like Kamal Hassan. Going for contested divorce is waste of time, money, energy and youth, your parents will simply suffer more due to contested case and host of other cases that your wife will file on you and them.  Good luck.

Vijay Raj Mahajan (Advocate)     14 May 2016

You are yourself a lawyer knows that getting divorce in India is very difficult. The whole story you posted about your marriage and marital life till day just speak of lack of understanding between both parties, misunderstanding between both with regard to each other and relatives of both sides. The wife is not cooperating in establishing the matrimonial home with you, giving reason of your parents' interference, according to you your wife has been non-cooperatives may be because of her parents' interference in your person relationship/affairs.

The ground of mental cruelty that you try to make out in the breaking of marriage seems not satisfactory that will convince the family court to dissolve your marriage, try out divorce by mutual consent if for which your wife agrees.

A walk alone (-)     14 May 2016

Gather elders of both side and try MCD. In case it fail file divorce and get rid of her. As you are lawyer I think you already gather evidence against your wife.

MEHUL (PARTER)     24 May 2016

I THINK YOUR MOTHER SHOULD FILE A "DV" CASE AGAINST YOUR WIFE AS THERE IS A JUDGEMENT THAT A MOTHER INLAW ALSO CAN FILE A DV CASE,PLEASE CHECK WITH YOUR ADVOCATE.

YOU SHOULD APPY FOR Restitution of Conjugal Rights AS THIS WILL HAVE AN UPPER HAND IN GETTING A DIVORCE BUT IF SHE SAYS THAT SHE WANTS TO RETURN THEN USE THE SENIOR CITIZENS ACT AGAINST HER AND USE THE ABOVE DV CASE BY YOUR MOTHER AND GET PROTECTION FOR YOUR PARENTS.

THEN IT FOR ALL THE HUSBANDS TO BE HUS-BANDS.


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